Anal Sex Help!

Anal Sex Help!

subwifemom • Apr 29, 2020

I finaly let my husband have Anal sex with me, it hurt a lot. We used good lube and condom. I have done this once in the past with another man and it was AWSOME. Why did it hurt so much this time? He keeps wanting to do it again and I am not wanting the pain. Will it get better as time goes; how can I make it pleasurable for me?

TNS​(dom male) • Apr 29, 2020

1 start with toys. it will hurt and keep hurting unless you train. start with small plugs or fingers and work your way up to his dick. if he is eager to do it again and the pain is bearable you could use it as a punishment in the mean time.

Literate Lycan​(dom male) • Apr 29, 2020

Concur with TheNiceSadist. And it might also depend upon the size of your husband and his eagerness to invade as opposed to the previous man (not saying he was smaller or more patient). But definitely work your way up with the proper training and toys (or household implements).

Best of luck. And perhaps let your husband know he can slow way down until you’re ready.

biboy​(sub male) • Apr 29, 2020

I agree with TheNiceSadist that toy training is crucial to help with the pain. There are also lots of lube out there that has a mild numbing agent in them, they are best when used to help with toy training as they will make it easier to adjust to having something inside your butt. I have also found that its way easier and way more enjoyable to have anal sex when I'm in the right mood.

With anal training in addition to just getting used to having something inside you it also helps to get ready for anal sex by using a butt plug for a few hours right before you have sex. Your muscles will relax and get used to the plug and won't be as prone to tensing up when the real thing comes along.

tallslenderguy​(other male) • Apr 29, 2020

Hmm. i don't have a woman's anatomy, but i have a lot of experience as a bottom guy lol. i've been anally oriented since about 8 years old when neighbor friend showed me an enema nozzle and excitedly told me what it was for and how it worked. i had a crush on Him, so i immediately went home and found our enema kit, removed the nozzle and applied vaseline as He'd described and in it went. After that, pretty much anything i could find was at risk for insertion.

Ditto The NiceSadist, some training might be in order, i.e., start small and work your way up.

i suggest 'training' on your own to remove the fear factor, which can make you tighten up. By the time i took my first cock, i was quite ready (more than ready really, i wanted it badly). And i think that is key. Right now it sounds like your husband wants it badly and you are on the opposite end of that spectrum. Which means He may be a bit anxious to get there and you're a bit anxious that he not. It's a dance, not a race, and sometimes hormones can make a guy focused on the finish line.

While i'm gay, i grew up in a conservative religious culture that said i wasn't... so i did spend part of my life married to a woman. Though she never would have let me penetrate her analy with my penis, i did get her to a place of liking anal penetration with my finger, much to her chagrin i think lol. There was definitely a seductive process where i got her very wired by starting on her vagina and cltioris orally, when i got her to the place she was needing penetration, i inserted a well lubed finger vaginally while continuing to stimulate her clitorally with my lips and tongue, going for internal stimulation to layer it. As she would become more anxious for more aggressive penetration, i started to rub the rose bud of her anus with a well lubed finger, kind of using scissor finger (i.e., one finger stimulating vaginally and the other analy) till finally my finger slipped in analy with ease. i suspect if she had not had conditioned objections to anal, she would have been begging for it. As it stood, it was obvious she liked it by the explosive multiple orgasms she would have once i added that layer and slipped in during that process.

my point is, we all know sex is both physical and psycological and the body, emotions and mind need to be stimulated. It's hard for the body to open up if the mind and emotions are not on board.

On the physical side, i'd again suggest that individual, on your own training will go a long way in opening you up a bit (just like when you were a virgin vaginally and had to open). The anus and rectum are different and take a little more training, but they definitely can be trained. Not to be gross, but consider the size of what comes out, we know we can at least take that.
Good luck!!

Azzabackam​(switch male){PawPawGirl} • Apr 29, 2020

Here's the thing about anal: it takes A LOT of work. If you're experiencing pain of any kind, roll back to something smaller for insertion. Start with fingers or smaller toys, then move up to toys as large as your husband's penis once your ready. Once you can play at that level without pain, you're ready for your partner. Some things to take note of:

>Being ready for anal doesn't mean he can go crazy on you. Out of every tag there is, porn lies the most about anal. Going fast, or even at a medium tempo, is something the vast majority of people can't handle. If you're feeling pain even after working up to his size, go slower.

>Lube and condoms, every time.

>Obviously, anal involves a certain level of potential gross factor. There are much, much more in depth guides out there for doing sanitary anal play than anything I could write out here, and I highly encourage you to follow them.

MissBonnie​(dom female){oz} • Apr 30, 2020

Another very small thing but make sure the room you are in is warm. Muscles relax more! relaxation is also easier in a warm room. If you are tense, your butt will be. Also remember to breath muscles need oxygen to relax. Holding your breath will cause contraction. When you're faced with pain, most peoples reaction is to hold there breath and try endure it.

It was suggested above to use a numbing cream. Personally I say to avoid them (unless you are experienced already and know your body, great stuff if you have a tear). Pain is for a reason. Pain is your bodies alert system, pain is your body saying slow the frack down and relax and take your time. If you're in pain during anal sex, you need to focus on solving the root problems, not anesthetizing yourself so it's easier to endure. You shouldn't be enduring this. If your mind is focusing on enduring the process, you will tense up.

Explore yourself. Get used to the feelings that anal provides by yourself. Practice in different positions (position can make a world of difference) like others said use toys, use fingers. NEVER force. Once your not having issues then offer yourself to your partner. TEACH your partner what you need to enjoy the process. Never forget “Communication, lubrication, and relaxation.”

Start by feeling around the outside of the hole. Run your finger along the anus to relax it first. There are two sphincters of the anus, the outer one, which creates the pucker that you can see, and the inner sphincter that you can feel a short ways up if you insert your finger in your anus. The intestines are anything but straight. The rectum (the part just before the
anal opening) ends in a sharp, ninety degree upward curve. If you attempt to push past this turn
you you will only cause tremendous pain (this is why I mentioned position above). Gently insert lubed finger into the anus. Push out as if trying to have a bowel movement, and that will relax the outer sphincter enough to slip in a finger or butt toy. If you meet resistance, push out as if you had to go to the bathroom and push your finger in at the same time.