skyrich(dom male){rottenbrat} |
4 years ago •
May 9, 2020
The Phases of (brat) Submission
4 years ago •
May 9, 2020
skyrich(dom male){rottenbrat} • May 9, 2020
As always, my standard disclaimer applies. See my blog for more information.
I've, of course, participated in the submission of more than a few girls, but recently I've had the opportunity of witnessing the process from a 3rd party perspective. Two people who I'm honored to call friends, (and you know who you are), have begun the dance. By now, almost everyone has heard of the 5 stages or phases of grief, those being: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and finally Acceptance. It has occurred to me that submission follows a similar pattern. As in the grief pattern, not everyone will experience all 5 phases, nor are the phases linear in nature, (i.e. one doesn't progress from Denial to Anger to Bargaining, etc). I use the term "phases" because we seem to phase into and out of these different states, much like water can phase from liquid to solid and back again. Without further ado Denial Much like in the corresponding grief pattern, this phase is a state of fear, numbness, and possibly shock. This phase is marked by phrases such as: "he can't possibly be interested in me", "It's a joke, he's playing games", and "I'm too scared to move!". Denial helps the sub pace her feelings. It's natures way of letting in only as much as she can handle. Meltdown The corresponding grief pattern is Anger. But we all know that in the emotional subbie "meltdown" is the only way to describe this phase. As Yoda put it: "Anger comes from fear". During this phase, the subbie will strike out and attack other subs, snark off at her would-be master, accuse her friends, (who only want the best for her), of being subversive. She fears the loss of control that she sees looming on the horizon. Ironically, the meltdown is a structure which she holds on to. It provides her strength, and bridges the fear. The deeper the meltdown, the deeper her true feelings are for her new dom. Bargaining Characterized by phrases starting with "What if ...?" and "If only..." This phase, too, is driven by fear, guilt, and negativity directed inward. It's an attempt to remain in the past, to attempt to remain in her "comfort zone", even if that comfort zone is a sea of chaos. Often this phase will also involve actual bargaining with her dom-to-be, and we all know what that looks like. "You can't spank me for THAT! It's not FAIR!" Fears, Hopes and Dreams This phase opposes the Depression state of grief, because this is not a time of loss. In this phase the subbie becomes giddily shy. She'll circle the wagons of her close friends and family, and tell them of her hopes, dreams, and yes, her fears. She's centered squarely in the present, and her feelings are washing over her like waves of the sea. She may not know how to process these feelings and will consult her "sub club". Acceptance It is this phase where she, herself, finally comes to realize that she is well and truly caught. She finds her joy in kneeling, and realizes that "the only thing she had to fear was fear itself." As the collar locks around her lovely throat, (literally or figuratively), a sigh of contentment, fulfillment and happiness escapes her lips with a whispered, "yes, master." ------- The astute reader will have noticed that the word "fear" appears in each of the above phases. The process of grief is triggered by loss. While fear doesn't trigger the process of submission, it's a big part of it, (at least where the brat is concerned.) The struggle of submission is never really between the dom and sub. Nope. It's always and squarely between her head and her heart. |
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