LostGirl Aria(sub female){♡G.W.N.♡}
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3 years ago •
May 30, 2020
Confident wrote: Looking at it from the Dom perspective....
Yes, start a conversation. What do you have to lose? However, I think your profile is more important than what you write in your first message. Once you are on my radar, that's where I go to see who you are. Make your profile expansive or enigmatic (but not challenging) so people have stuff to ask you about for in an ongoing conversation. As for your first message, you know I am a Dom and I know you are a sub, so no need to go anywhere near that in your message. Just be the real you. Your message should be like any other way of starting a conversation, for example: 'Hi' I liked your profile. I thought it was.... especially the bit about.... etc, etc. I see you are from X, I hear it is nice there.... What did you mean when you said X in your profile.... The rest is just about correspondence and finding out who you both are. When Boo first contacted me she just picked up one thing from my profile. Just discussing that gave us material for our first dozen messages and by then we had clicked enough to be exploring each other much more. If it doesn't click, then you can always back out gracefully with nothing lost. Of course, this is only my view. Thank you for sharing, any & all perspectives are welcome. Very good advice, possibly I should tweak my profile a bit just to expand some. Would have to push some limits on opening up more but, it does make more sense to provide others something to go off of to spark a conversation up. Again, Thank you! |
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Online now
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LostGirl Aria(sub female){♡G.W.N.♡}
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3 years ago •
May 30, 2020
Having trouble quoting you, @dollMaker{SaViDa}
Thank you for your advice! Completely logical. Yes, I know all to well of time wasters... sadly, which is why I'm initially hesitant on such. I don't want to approach the "wrong one". Maybe I need to be a little optimistic regarding all of this here, myself. Thank you! |
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LostGirl Aria(sub female){♡G.W.N.♡}
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3 years ago •
May 30, 2020
LaVieEnRose wrote: I’m pretty introverted myself so I read and read my messages before I send them, but for me it’s far easier to verbalise what I want to say in a message then to say it to someone’s face.
I say just let things flow, be yourself and try to be friends before you become Dom and sub. It’s been a learning curve for me as well and I’m sure i get it wrong but when the right one comes along things will just flow for you and it won’t feel like a struggle! Absolutely relatable! It's much easier via message than face to face. Yes, that's all I'm willing to give at this time is Friendship. But, thank you! I'll be certain to keep all I've gathered in mind... Shall the day come for me to put use to it & stop being such a baby..  .
 LostGirl
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LaVieEnRose(sub female){Learning }
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3 years ago •
May 30, 2020
You’ll find someone’s profile who intrigues you enough that you will say fuck it I’m messaging them!!
Just be yourself and never apologise for it! Xx 
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Azzabackam(switch male){PawPawGirl}
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3 years ago •
May 30, 2020
"Hey, wanna get to know each other? Maybe play/start a relationship if things click?"
There ya go. Maybe I'm a loner in this, but I've never understood this idea that *every* sub needs to bend the knee and get all hyper-respectful just by talking with a Dom who's not theirs yet. I don't walk into a store I don't work at and start doing work, so why would I behave around a stranger the way I do around a partner? |
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skyrich(dom male){rottenbrat}
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3 years ago •
May 30, 2020
As for me, my girl messaged me about a post I'd written in the fora. She had a question and politely asked for clarification. This led to a conversation about philosophy. Neither of us was looking for a new relationship, but we clicked.
So, yes, a sub should approach a dom. A dom should approach a sub. Here on the cage we have the benefit of knowing a *bit* about each other based on our profiles, blogs and posts. So, you can easily avoid the embarrassing situation of contacting another sub, thinking that they are a dom. Having said that, keep your profile real, because that's the first thing anyone is going to do when contacted out of the blue by a random stranger. Don't write a novella there. Keep somethings to be found out. Be honest in your profile, but don't tell your whole life story.  Get rid of that stupid bdsmtest results. It's meaningless. When you find yourself in a relationship, those results will most likely be very different, as you adjust to each other.
And Azz has the right of it. Avoid calling him "Sir", or even worse, "Master", until and unless he puts his collar on you. Just approach respectfully as you would approach any random stranger in person. Ignore the "dom" title, (for now), because he may be a dom, but he's not YOUR dom, (at least not yet). Others have also spoken eloquently about starting a discussion about something in his profile, blog, or forum post. If you do that, be specific. Ask specific questions. Generalizations will only get you generalized answers, and will not lead to a more meaningful experience. Good luck! |
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LostGirl Aria(sub female){♡G.W.N.♡}
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3 years ago •
May 30, 2020
Azzabackam wrote: "Hey, wanna get to know each other? Maybe play/start a relationship if things click?"
There ya go. Maybe I'm a loner in this, but I've never understood this idea that *every* sub needs to bend the knee and get all hyper-respectful just by talking with a Dom who's not theirs yet. I don't walk into a store I don't work at and start doing work, so why would I behave around a stranger the way I do around a partner? Makes logical sense, Thank you! I will put use to what I'm learning here & not over think it all. |
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LostGirl Aria(sub female){♡G.W.N.♡}
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3 years ago •
May 30, 2020
skyrich wrote: As for me, my girl messaged me about a post I'd written in the fora. She had a question and politely asked for clarification. This led to a conversation about philosophy. Neither of us was looking for a new relationship, but we clicked.
So, yes, a sub should approach a dom. A dom should approach a sub. Here on the cage we have the benefit of knowing a *bit* about each other based on our profiles, blogs and posts. So, you can easily avoid the embarrassing situation of contacting another sub, thinking that they are a dom. Having said that, keep your profile real, because that's the first thing anyone is going to do when contacted out of the blue by a random stranger. Don't write a novella there. Keep somethings to be found out. Be honest in your profile, but don't tell your whole life story. Get rid of that stupid bdsmtest results. It's meaningless. When you find yourself in a relationship, those results will most likely be very different, as you adjust to each other.
And Azz has the right of it. Avoid calling him "Sir", or even worse, "Master", until and unless he puts his collar on you. Just approach respectfully as you would approach any random stranger in person. Ignore the "dom" title, (for now), because he may be a dom, but he's not YOUR dom, (at least not yet). Others have also spoken eloquently about starting a discussion about something in his profile, blog, or forum post. If you do that, be specific. Ask specific questions. Generalizations will only get you generalized answers, and will not lead to a more meaningful experience. Good luck! Thank you! Yes, I absolutely understand the process of addressing a Dom as well as paying attention to collars or therefore relationship status... I have that part in the bag, it's the whole dealings of having to spark a conversation with someone who maybe gives "too little" within their profile & possibly hasn't written anywhere within the community for me to get a feel of who they are. But, yes... Due a earlier suggestion I am tweaking my profile at the moment as well as I will dismiss the bdsm test results  . Thank you again!
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SirsBabyDoll(sub female){Pizza+☕}
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3 years ago •
May 31, 2020
Koneko wrote: I said
Hi love your profile! Then I posted what was on my mind (I do that a lot) Wondered with him being 6" 4 and I'm 5" 3 how far would I reach. And bam! Here we are! Now to just convince him to change his collar so people know he's mine!!! I tend to view online dating as I would dating in real life. I wouldn't expect a collar from someone after just a few drinks so why expect it after a few chats? I would advise you to take your time and get to know them first...and them you. If you have to "convince" a dom, then he really isn't your Dom. |
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Bunnie
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3 years ago •
May 31, 2020
I would suggest taking a few moments and asking yourself what is important to you in a prospective Dominant.
This will help give you some guidelines as to questions you may want to ask towards establishing compatibility. As far as approaching, I’m about as subtle as a punch in the face, so if I’ve reached my level of curiosity to approach someone, I generally just say “hi... I find you interesting” lol. Last edited by * on Sun May 31, 2020 3:15 pm, edited 1 time in total |
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