Is it normal....

Is it normal....

Modi​(other female) • Jun 23, 2020

In my work life I am in control, have to make good decisions quickly or face dire consequences. In my home life, I bear a great deal of responsibility and bridge a generational gap. I feel like there is a mountain on my shoulders. Is it normal that I am seeking an alpha male...since I myself have to be a leader and in control all the time? Would it even work? Many who know me would be surprised that I am labeled a submissive on here because I am a strong woman and have been alone for so long. I feel very confused at how this reconciles. Any advice?

Literate Lycan​(dom male) • Jun 23, 2020

Normal? Yes.
Would it work? Yes.
Advice: Develop a solid form of communication and allow your relationship to develop to cover your needs as well as those of whoever you are interacting with. From my limited experience, many, many of those who self-identify as submissive are very strong individuals in all aspects of their life. They are seeking the one individual they feel matches them in the area or areas they seek to relinquish control. Consider yourself the Beta to only the Alpha you chose. Ultimately . . . It is YOUR choice who and what you relinquish control to.

skyrich​(dom male){rottenbrat} • Jun 23, 2020

Short answer: YES

Long answer:
Of course it's normal. It is *because* you have to be in control so much in other parts of your life that you seek an alpha who will take that control over you. Nature abhors a vacuum. You seek what you do not have. It is not only normal, it is natural.

But, more importantly, why be concerned about what is "normal?" Normality is a matter of perspective. Allow me to demonstrate:

We live at the bottom of a crushing gravity well exerting a force of 9.8 meters per second squared on us. We are surrounded by a corrosive oxygen/nitrogen atmosphere. We live a mere 150 million km from a massive unshielded, and unregulated, fusion thermonuclear reactor with a surface temperature of 5500 degrees C, which spews out lethal ionizing radiation in all bands of the electromagnetic spectrum. Additionally we all receive a daily dose of about 620 millirems of radiation from the earth, sun and from deep space, (for comparison a chest x-ray is about 70 millirems). All of this, and we call it "normal".

John Brownstone​(dom male) • Jun 23, 2020

Chiming in from a big D perspective.

Can it work? Yes it can.

My babygirl is a Type A personality, self-employed, and lets nothing stand in her way when she wants something.
We are in a 24/7 D/s relationship that works for our lifestyle.
Our D/s does not extend into her work life, that is off limits.
Once the work day is done that part of her gets tucked away and she gladly hands over control.
She gladly gives up having to make decisions and having to worry about things as she knows she has someone she can trust to take care of both her and the house.
There are rules and tasks in place that she is responsible for which she does. Being able to switch off the work part of her allows her to turn off the noise in her head and recharge for the next time.

So yes it can be done, it takes communication so each person's needs are met, it takes trust that the person you are handing off that control to has your best interests at heart, and it takes consent and negotiation.
Also be aware it may not be a one and done thing, while parts of it will work smoothly others may not and you will need to adjust and change along the way.

LaVieEnRose​(sub female){Kintsugi} • Jun 24, 2020

As a sub much like you, I am in charge in my career and I am generally seen as a strong/dominant personality so to anyone who knows me outside of this world would be shocked. Is it “normal?” Who cares if it is normal? Might it take you some time to fully relinquish your need to be in control? Yup! I struggle with it even 7 months later. It’s what I need and want but I am unwilling to compromise to whom I am willing to give up my control to. So you make have to take some time to find the right person but as the above Doms have all stated it is absolute a doable situation!

Xx🥀

Re: Is it normal....

rottenbrat​(sub female){Skyrich} • Jun 24, 2020

Is it "Normal"?
To answer that, you have to have a consistent working definition of what normal IS. Life changes on a daily basis for me and those around me, so I can't give you good perspective on what "normal" is or means. However, I can tell you that you are not alone in how you feel. I have been a single parent since 2003, the head of my household, mostly experienced in leadership or managerial roles professionally, and have no problem putting my foot down or dishing out discipline when I see it is called for. Now.......... ask me if this feels natural or even comfortable. The only answer you will get from me is HELL NO. I like being support to someone, I HATE being expected to sit in the "Ownership" role unless it is related to my child. But even that is still not entirely comfortable. The rest and relaxation (for lack of a better term) that restores me fully comes from my partnership with my Master. And this is still new, so has not yet reached its full potential. If how I feel when I am with him is any indication, I am finally functioning emotionally with two working legs and arms. I hope this makes as much sense to you as it does in my head.

Daddy Zo​(dom male){Goodgirly} • Jun 25, 2020

My definition of a submissive woman is a woman who is in control of all aspects of her life. You seek a Alpha or Dom to help keep you ready to take on this life every day. So yes it would work . Let him handle all of the other things . When the day has worn on you just sit down and let him take over . You are the one to choose who you decide to be submissive with . The power is yours. To trust someone enough to handle things will be a relief in it self.

Yup, normal.

PrincessDomme​(dom female) • Jun 25, 2020

Completely agree with Literate Lycan. In my situation my sub (male), is very independent, and strong willed. He has to make very important decisions in his daily life, etc. When he comes home, the last thing he wants to do is be in charge of anything. He chose me to relinquish his control (just as Literate Lycan said). And it’s a very freeing experience for him.

I on the other hand also have a demanding job where I make decisions and work from about 7-4 M-F. However, I enjoy being in charge still when I come home.

Everyone is different.