Too much noise?

Too much noise?

DjDom​(dom male) • Aug 22, 2020

To all of you beautiful and sexy subs out there, let me ask y’all a few questions. Are you all hit on and propositioned daily or more frequently than you like or want? Even if you’re collared? Is it flattering to get this much attention? Do you answer all of the emails/messages? Some of them, only the interesting ones? The polite ones? Or do you wait for follow ups?

Y’all have the power and the upper hand when it comes to finding a Dom. Much like in real life too, lol. Better and safer to vet and verify than to accept just anyone.

Do I ask one final question, ladies...if I were to, or already have, messaged you would you kindly proved some feedback? As I search for that one right woman for me in this niche, I can’t help but notice the lack of communication and response to my invites and messages. While I know there’s a lot of shady people out there, guys like me, who sincerely try to read a profile and tailor a message to your profile, end up on the silent end.

Now, I also realize not everyone is for everyone. And some things are dealbreakers, like open marriage and looking. To any woman I’ve contacted who finds that particular arrangement a negative, please say so. My wife has her own Dom and I had a submissive briefly, but I also was a Dom to my wife until we decided to get our own.

It’s hard out there to find the right person, regardless of what side of the relationship you’re on. And some people confuse this lifestyle with abuse, and that’s wrong on every level. On behalf of guys like me who legitimately try to connect and build a real relationship, please don’t go silent. Experience is gained, not all people have the same, and trust is earned.

Communication is vital in a relationship like these, so let’s start it off with that, and build it continuously.

too much noise

hank submissive male​(sub male) • Aug 22, 2020

I agree that communication is key but correct me if I am wrong but there are way more submissive men than there are Dominant women it is they who have the upper hand when choosing a submissive true that the sub must mesh with the dom of their choice but Dommes are rare

Grey Eyes​(sub female){Owned} • Aug 22, 2020

Ok, I will bite (no pun intended).

Yes, I do receive messages frequently, despite my collar and despite the fact that my profile clearly states my status. That having been said, I do state on my profile that I welcome friendly (non sexual) conversation. I have an interest in a broad range of subjects and am always willing to learn more.

As a broad description most of those Doms that message me are clear of their intent in the initial contact...and it is sexual. Also pretty clear that they either choose to ignore my profile or didn't read it at all. For me that is a problem as my interest is a long term relationship(which I have).....not a quickie. For those that come back a second time in a sexual manner, or are especially aggressive get turned over to my Dom.

Do I respond? Yes I do. Usually with something like "I respectfully ask that you read my profile, I am taken and am available for friendly conversation only". I very seldom hear back.

That wouldn't say much about my integrity, character and honesty if I was not true to my Dom and did talk to other Doms sexually.

Grey Eyes

SirsBabyDoll​(sub female){Pizza+☕} • Aug 22, 2020

For me, it depends on the message I receive. If they are respectful but I read their profile and I judge that we won't mesh, I kindly let them know. If, their message says something idiotic or it is written in such a way that proves that they didn't read my profile, I let my brat handle it in whatever sarcastic degree she feels like. If it's rude and disrespectful, I don't hold back and give it to them with both barrels.

Pudding

shesosweet​(sub female) • Aug 22, 2020

I humbly suggest...

Making your profile a little less like a personal ad and more like a snapshot of who you are. There is plenty of time to talk about details when someone replies. It's not a bad profile, I've seen much worse! But...it is for lack of a better word...soft. Very soft.

This is not particularly attractive to subs for obvious reasons.

Do you have pictures of your toys? Or maybe, a little taste of your style in how you Dominate? You know, the juicy stuff. Pay attention to how you are writing and what message that sends...subs do!

Do you have to be an asshole? No! But don't be the other thing either.

And second...for lengthier samples of your dirty mind you may like writing little poems or stories in the blogs. This is a way to get your creative juices going and can be very helpful to yourself and others in explaining yourself.

The proof is in the pudding as they say.

Good luck!

KnottyBunny • Aug 22, 2020

I get messages all day long. Some I reply to as long as they mentioned something that they have read in my profile. To me, that means they are at least taking an interest.

I am very picky and only really talk to two Dominants on here.

If I get a message with a compliment "Youre hot" or "Wow, you have gorgeous eyes." I will politely reply back with a simple thank you.

If I get a message that says "Come to Daddy my little cum slut." I might reply back if im in my sassy ass mood and the reply is usually not so nice. Then block.

I also get messages from Doms that just want to talk as potential friends. I will politely decline if I feel there would never be a connection or if their profile is blank. I assume that if they cannot put any effort into their own profile for others to read, there isn't going to be any substance anyway.

TheLittlePrincess​(sub female){SSG} • Aug 22, 2020

I get plenty of messages even though I have my Domme listed in the collar.
I usually try to reply. I look at profiles if the message is just the simple one liner. If the person is still relatively new to the site, I give them the benefit of the doubt. Yes this can lead to them being icky and I just gave them the time for it. But I know when I was new, I had no idea how to talk to people. So I try to be friendly and inform them of things that will help them in future messages.
Now any icky ones that I get, I usually like to either ignore or if I'm in the mood, I send my own snarky replies. It can be quite fun. If a message goes too far, so far only one has gotten to me like that, then I ask mommy to handle it. She's much better at dealing with people than me.

RaeofSunlight{Mated} • Aug 22, 2020

I am pretty new to the scene. I am still unsure about a lot of things and I am not afraid to admit to it. I do not have a photo up and I am not sure if I will put one up. BUt this blog is about too much noise and that is what I feel I am getting right now. I have to say that this is a very intimidating site for the new person. But sometimes you just have to dive right in. I am an intelligent woman and I am confident in myself and when I respond to a man who I tell, after I read his profile, that I am not the right fit and he gets upset it worries me about this site. He tells me that I do not understand trust and obedience and numerous other words. I feel that I can still be a submissive and still have my values. I do not have to give my trust freely to a person right off the back. Trust is earned in my eyes right now. Maybe I am naive, but I do not believe so. I want to experience and express life in this way, but I want to do it safely for me. I am guarded because I am ignorant to things. Aren't most intelligent people guarded when moving into a new lifestyle? Why is everything such a pressure game right off the back. I feel sad that I may never be happy. I am disheartened right now.

DjDom​(dom male) • Aug 23, 2020

Jazmine, I’m sorry you feel intimidated. Nothing should be taking you there, no one should either. I’d love to talk with you and if nothing else, put your mind at ease. There’s bdsm and then there’s crazy. You don’t need crazy. I’m in Texas, let me know if you want to talk more.

Mr. Bret

chattel​(sub female) • Aug 23, 2020

I have tried to answer everyone that has messaged me. Some messages I get show the sender has little understanding of the lifestyle, it's not even rudeness, just very vague ideas that don't make sense for someone claiming years of experience, which makes it difficult to respond.