question which may be already answered in an faq someplace but not digging to find it.

question which may be already answered in an faq someplace b

Redfoxmask​(dom male) • Sep 21, 2020

has anyone premium or not actually really met IRL from here and was it worth the premium subscription to be able to ask and send a messgae to meet with said someone from a posting on the personals side of things here? just curious because I dont want to waste my time or money.

I am seeking a real honest BDSM relationship and all that it entails I have been in the lifestyle a long time just really missing having a submissive to dote on and use and own looking for a longterm end up married kind of relationship with my submissive if I end upmeeting a nice one that will fullfill me and I her.

MissBonnie​(dom female){oz} • Sep 22, 2020

Your not going to like my answer but I really want to answer and I tend to not bite my tongue or couch my replies if I feel I might help. I mean no offense with this reply and I'm actually trying to help you, so you can help yourself. Any way I phrase this it will appear bitchie. So lets just call me a bitch and move on to you. This isn't about me, I have a thick hide. To find someone special takes effort and commitment to task. Without effort spent and using the site to the best of its ability, even the busiest site on the planet will not suit your needs unless you invest in yourself. There is no BDSM Nirvana site. They all take work, they all take effort. Walking in, phrasing your post as you have makes you appear lasy and arrogant, like your to busy to waste your time and looking for a short cut! Think about how that appears to others! (think about how that appears to subs looking just as hard as you) If you're looking for a HONEST BDSM relationship, then try investing yourself in your community. Try standing out for the right reasons. Try living the lifestyle and one might happen for you. Whats that saying, life is what happens to you, while your busy making plans.....

Work ALL the sites you can find from free to paid. Work the one in front of you at your finger tips! You'll find here at cage, if you reach to others, they reach back! Put in al the effort you can, into standing out. Post on the forums, be seen. Be known. Be out there! I know its not easy and I know how frustrating it can be (I also bet this post doesnt fit the real you).....but honestly stop looking for short cuts and invest the effort it takes finding new sites, into the ones your on.

When you go to buy..say soiftdink! You look for the brand you know. Make yourself your own brand. People tend to purchase what they know, see and trust. Build your repuation. Build your brand. Let others find you (as well as you looking for them)

Honestly best of luck on search (you do seem like a nice guy and your profile was a good read too)

thank you the bluntness

Redfoxmask​(dom male) • Sep 22, 2020

thank you for the info I am sorry was mostly curious to understandand find out some information I should have dug deeper I did for quite some time but wasnt seeing or maybe just not understanding but none the less I do appreciate the criticism and my profile as it reads is what I am hoping I can eventually find I hope it doesnt come across arrognat but its me in a nutshell .I do really care about my submissives if and when I have one to dote on and all but mostly was more interested in finding out about the subscription and I do appologise if I came across arrogant as if I dont care but I honestly do care and no you arent bitchy I take that as words of wisdom and i appreciate the forewardness of your answer it gives me hope and I thank you for the info for me to chew and digest.

aemouse​(switch male) • Sep 22, 2020

Hey, I'm super new, but I figured I'd throw my hat into the ring anyway. As to finding someone IRL, I think it'll probably be fairly difficult, and most likely take a lot of time. There aren't that many kinky people, after all. It also depends on where you live, I know for me, theres only about a dozen users in my state. But in my opinion, premium is worth it just to meet new people and make some friends. I've only been on here about a week, and I've already met a few people that I'm really enjoying talking to. It'll probably never turn into anything more, but who cares, right? As long as you manage your expectations, you should be fine.

Redfoxmask​(dom male) • Sep 22, 2020

aemouse thanks yes like you said there only seem to be a handful of potential subs in my area as well I appreciate your input and I will try my best to manage my expectations. thank you am hopeful and so far everyone I met has been so nice and kind thanks and yes good luck on my endeavour

WyteTiger​(dom gender fluid){JuicyJess} • Sep 22, 2020

Just a small addition to whats been said, and a way you can sort of choose your investments, if your looking for a marriage length relationship, thats probably not going to start by picking out a random by a display pic and starting to message, become part of the community, get to know recurring members, like a large mixer, then, if certain people start to grow on you, make the investment, the best way to "dig deeper" into whether a social group is worth your investment is to get to know the people, who knows, maybe someone here is from far far away, but will find you such a perfect dom theyd move for you, or vica versa, i personally believe dms should be moved into, not slid into

Redfoxmask​(dom male) • Sep 22, 2020

I agree thank you all for the info it has been most helpful