How many times...for Doms and subs

How many times...for Doms and subs

SSG{ENM-TLP} • Dec 16, 2020

How many times do you feel like you read a profile before really having a good idea of what a person claims to be about? (I say "claims" because of course we only really know what they share with us, but let's assume this is an honest person who is sharing about themselves, and it is a very well developed profile.

You see their profile...
You reach out...
You talk for a while...
You make a choice...

How many times in that process, do you think you read their profile in its entirety?

And do you feel like you see something new each time or maybe you gain a better perspective based on getting to know them and the profile reveals something new?

I'd like to know what that experience is generally like for you.

maywest • Dec 17, 2020

3 or 4

MountaintopMaster • Dec 17, 2020

Definitely re-read profiles 3-5 times while first interacting with someone. Both for reference, and to just double-check the vibe I'm getting. I don't think I've ever dramatically changed my impression about someone, though, or discovered that they're not who they say they are. Mostly just either clicked or not clicked...

Mama Bear JJ​(dom female){koa} • Dec 17, 2020

I would definitely say more than once, but generally I would do that before reaching out to them or before responding when they reach out to me. Once I've made the decision to do either, I prefer learning about them and potentially growing with them through direct communication.

That being said ... my experience has been that, while my profile may be considered as having too much information, most I view have too little and don't really contain anything that gives you an idea of what kind of person they are beyond their interests and limits. Those things are important, but if I can't find something to click with on your profile and/or in your message ... I won't be reaching out/responding.

For those that are really serious about finding both a relationship and dynamic, the profile and first messages sent ARE VERY IMPORTANT. Put thought into them and show off a bit of who you are as a person beyond the lifestyle, otherwise you might get looked over by the exact type of person you are looking for and get stuck trying and failing with the ones you aren't.

ThisIsTheWay​(dom male) • Dec 17, 2020

depends on the length of the profile, honestly ive seen some pretty short ones and some really really long ones so depending on that I might go back and review one maybe 2-5 times depending on length and complexity, also photos and reviewing those and if they have pictures of themselves then because I'm interested in physicality and emotional attraction I look at the photos and decide if I could see any potential.

Bunnie • Dec 17, 2020

I used to diligently read profiles. Not so much anymore. I’ll take a look if someone catches my interest, but I go by our interactions more than anything. I form my own opinion... not based on their opinion of themselves, nor other’s opinion of them. Having said that, however, if I do look, my interest lies not so much in what they write, but more in what they consider important enough to mention, if that makes sense, so I do tend to go back over time to see if what they consider to be important to mention, has shifted with their growth.

mikebradsrv​(dom male) • Dec 17, 2020

Well, I'm in a position where I'm seriously concerned about posting my face online. Could lose my job is the wrong people see it...
But I will be absolutely honest about myself and my relationships. Nothing to hide, but my face, which is the least important thing about me.

Cressida Clytie​(masochist female){Taken} • Dec 17, 2020

Usually 3-4 times particularly the long ones. Others don't really have something to say about themselves so that's fine.

Tthomas • Dec 17, 2020

If the name catches my eye I will read the profile in its entirety. Most times I have questions about the profile.

After chatting with them I generally go back and read it again. You would be surprised at what hits you differently after chatting.

Note: some people put way to much in their profiles that have nothing to do with them. If you have a lot in common it’s nice to go back and read what they have posted. IMHO not before you know a little about them.

For the problem you are addressing it might be worth your while to put an age limit younger and higher.

LetterMeLovelyClaire​(dom female) • Dec 18, 2020

Unless someone’s profile is somewhat descriptive, I would be driven to not even answer an initial message, especially if it’s typical, short or contains no thought.
However, on the chance that I find a profile which intrigued me, I typically read it once or twice and then will either respond to that message or initially message that individual.
I like to have longer, more in depth conversations because to me, an emotional connection is my number 1 priority and concern in a Ds relationship. I often find a photo to be the least interesting thing about someone.