Why people lie.

Why people lie.

Aquilla​(dom male){ • • •. [} • May 2, 2021

We have all told countless lies.
In my time on the planet I think I have come to understand the two major reasons we do this.
The less common reason is to control other people.
"Vote for me, everything will be fine."
"Marry me I will make you happy."

The main reason people lie is to resist being controlled by other people.
Did you clean your room? "Yes mom."
Will you love me forever? "You know I will baby."
You won't fuck me over will you? "Of course not."
In bdsm truth and trust are premium commodities.
Proceed with caution.

HEAVEN'S STARCHILD​(switch female) • May 2, 2021

I try to be open and honest as much as possible with others. Truth, trust and communication is key. I was thinking about this earlier and the show House came to mind. House's answer to almost every misdiagnosis is "everybody lies". No matter how much we want the truth, are we really to get it even though we are being honest to the best of our ability?

Do others (no matter the community) really think that the truth will stay hidden? What is done in the dark will eventually come to light.

Aquilla​(dom male){ • • •. [} • May 2, 2021

Yes. Time and pressure always win. Escaping the truth is always a temporary reprieve.

OraclePollon​(sub female){NotYours} • May 2, 2021

I couldn't agree more!

Lies come from not wanting to take accountability. It is purely selfish. Getting to a point where no one can shame you, actually makes the act of speaking truth much easier. Lies are just people trying to not feel humiliated.

Crazy how the way others treat you, can make you so sour that you try and protect yourself with lies. It is a viscious cycle.

Makes it very apparent that the habitual-liars (inst Doms anyone) are so insecure. How interesting to ponder!!

Aquilla​(dom male){ • • •. [} • May 2, 2021

I am in search of the glory of truth. How amazing it would be to be totally honest and not be rejected.

L a r s​(dom male) • May 2, 2021

That....is a very astute observation.

Well, in the spirit if being honest, I would like to inform you that I will be shamelessly stealing this little pearl of wisdom good sir

Thank you for sharing your thoughts

Aquilla​(dom male){ • • •. [} • May 2, 2021

I'm honored L a r s.
I've admired your contributions.

Dominus eius​(dom male){LittleLott} • May 2, 2021

I believe you can also add fear to the list of reasons why people lie.

Fear of consequences - Did you clean you room? - If I say no I’ll be punished.

I was going to list other fears and examples, then realised consequences covers it all. Be it punishment, judgement, loss, embarrassment - and others.

Virginie​(sub female){lcpw} • May 2, 2021

I could get lost trying to use my amateur powers of observation and my own personal history to determine the myriad reasons people lie.
I can offer this however, and it is not 'pro-liar' by any means, but I add it because I think the immense scope of lying and its purpose is being somewhat shortchanged here.
Many times in life- especially in BDSM, people feel what may still be, to them, something like an unnameable encroachment into areas of their life that make them uncomfortable, but when they seek counsel from their partner or their community they are often told their uneasiness is an adjustment, for example, to power exchange. An adjustment to having a D/s dynamic.
In truth I think because of the things I just said- many people go far too long not realizing they are experiencing discomfort because their boundaries have been violated.
When one's boundarie's are violated and they are trying to preserve some part(parts) of themselves... something that they have or have not yet identified as parts of themselves and their lives they mean to keep private to only them- lying can result.
People dive fast and deep into dynamics where they agree to hand things over ( like the reins to the larger part of their lives) often before they know themselves, before they truly understand what it is they are getting into etc...
Not knowing so much, but yet having committed so much to a person or situation is a definite and understandable( to me) recipe for lies told upon lies. Perhaps not big lies. Perhaps at least at first just little adjustments for the comfort and continuance of a dynamic that is just not right for them. I'm beginning to see that many people would rather entangle themselves in an awful mess before they would ever want to be alone, single etc...
May sound silly but I promise its happening right now- everywhere
People also lie to spare people pain, or because something is simply none of someone elses business but they are no good with being assertive- a panic lie if you will.
I am saying at the heart of this that for many- lying is a coping mechanism.
It is a rare person who truly doesnt give a shit what others think of them. That's yet another area where lying frequently comes in to play. So on and so on.

Golden Smurfette • May 2, 2021

You won't fuck me over, will you? "Of course not“
I personally feel that's my favorite lie.
Or moreover, the harshest truth.