Paranoia and Safety in Online Interactions
2 months ago • 05/20/2021 6:42 pm
MilkAndToast(sub male) • 05/20/2021 6:42 pm
Firstly, I'm generally new to the lifestyle and really looking to get some experience. A bit of background: I'm a sub male looking for a nice Domme to serve. I've been actively trying to find someone since just before covid hit (great timing on my part).
I've spoken with several Dominants online through various apps/sites. I feel like thecage is a nice community of real people, so I thought I'd post here to share my story and get some feedback.
I have trust issues, this I know. I feel like I'm being overly cautious and paranoid about some of these Dommes I speak with. I look for red flags all while giving them a chance to prove they are genuine. I've called off several potential relationships due to this. And I'm beginning to wonder how much of a cesspool of scams and fake people are really out there preying on submissive men. I guess part of my paranoia comes from the unknown of what threats can fall upon me. Could it be blackmail, identity theft, kidnapping, murder, all of the above, or just a broken heart? Or maybe the most scary of them all: an actual relationship with a genuine person with mutual trust and respect and all that.
- I'm speaking with a Mistress now for a day, and I caught her (in a rather funny fashion) feeding me lines from a BDSM blog. She claimed she likes to read and felt that those lines resonated with her so she sent them to me.
- I first messaged her on an app so I initiated contact, but then she did what most scammers get victims to do, which is leave the initial platform for another messaging service. To be honest, it feels like a pretty second-rate app in the first place. The kind of app that people might use for nefarious purposes. But I feel like I have anonymity on my side still. I created a separate Google account to keep in touch with her and other potentially suspicious people.
- After catching her line-feeding, I mentioned there was a BDSM event coming up in a town nearby to both of us and that we could meet in person there. She said she isn't against meeting in person but we would need to do so on her time. She hasn't brought this up since then.
- She has sent some pictures of her that look taken by someone else (not sure if they seem like professional photos though). I did an image search online and couldn't find any hits, but I'm good enough with computers to know that doesn't mean much (or again, maybe I'm just being paranoid about my safety).
- She also just seems to fire off these lines that feel like they're from other blogs and about being the only woman I'll need and how I will have an amazing experience with her. On the other hand, it also feels like she speaks from the heart sometimes. I've asked about her BDSM experience and she shared some details about other slaves. I expressed my concerns about my limits and she seems to actually respect them and care for her "property".
- This morning, this Mistress asks if I've ever dated anyone (I said no) and tells me to add another woman to hangouts. As I'm writing this, I'm chatting with the new woman and feel slightly catfished. This new woman isn't into BDSM, so I'm curious why she would send me to her. Maybe just to get some dating experience?
Each of those points above are mild red flags to me. So, that's bordering on the third strike (or maybe more, I've lost count) with this Mistress and I'm not sure about things as they stand. But I could see some validity in most of the arguing points. This is the farthest I've gone toward trusting someone online, so I'm not sure how far I want to take it before looking for someone else again. Where should I draw the line?
I feel like most responses to this post would and should be to cut things off since I'm still harboring doubts about it. But then again, it feels so early in the communications that I would like to give her the chance. Especially if she wants to meet in person still.
I'd like to get some points of view from all roles. What are your experiences like this? How far have you gone before breaking things off?