Disciplining my Submissive.

Disciplining my Submissive.

Hunts61046​(dom male) • Jun 27, 2021

My Submissive has been having a tough time remembering my rules, for a punishment I've been making her write them down 25 times but it just doesn't seem to stick into her head. I would appreciate any tips for dealing with this. Thank you

MissBonnie​(dom female){oz} • Jun 27, 2021

then make less rules if remembering them is the problem and then add them back over time.

Miki​(masochist female) • Jun 27, 2021

Is she not remembering them because there are too many?

Is she not remembering because she actually can't?

How complex are they and do you discuss them thoroughly?

Lastly, is she skipping the rules because she simply doesn't want to follow them?

Back when i was active I blew off rules on purpose to get spanked, etc. That's why I identify as an unapologetic brat... But I cannot speak to why she isn't remembering what you expect of her--- How long has your dynamic been in place? Is she new to being a sub? There's always the chance she might not be as into this shit as she thought she wouid be but doesn't want to pill the plug completely yet.

Big help I am, nothing but a pile of questions.

How 'bout you skip the punishments, call a time out on the dynamic, sit down with her and frankly discuss who wants what out of the relationship, and where each of you want to go with it.

FloraDragon​(dom male){Roaming Wi} • Jun 27, 2021

Simplicity is the key, too complex makes it easy to fail - keep things simple for people to understand. A key to a submissive in real life is to anticipate the needs of their Dom, do you need a list for that to happen? or do you question actions that does to ease your life?

Your sub

beachflyer • Jul 3, 2021

I agree with Miki on this one, i try to not to punish a sub because that would mean i have failed as a Dom, i would pull the plug and sit down with her and talk and find out what she wants , it's more likely you have pushed her to her limit and she does not know how to please you.
Sit down with her , all subs have feelings take her out , make her feel loved , you find out more dangling a carrot than a whip

domwolf6969 • Jul 3, 2021

Rules should have meanings and purpose to shine her submissive skills, and should have clarity about how you are nurturing her and making her better as submissive. She forgets because she might be not find them interesting and useless. Always think about human first and they are robot.

I.e. if you want to see your sub say hello with smiling face in the morning and send you a nice smiling pic, then you should tell her that you want to she her starting her day with a good smiling and with the positive attitude and her smily face making your day better, instead of just putting as one task for a sub. The ask is same but motive is different and that will keep her motivated to follow your rules.

Rules should be practical as well and not bothering to her social and work life.

It is best you discuss them.

SubTamara​(sub trans woman){submissive} • Jul 3, 2021

As a submissive , My master had a bdsm contract drew up that we can both look at and amend at anytime as long as we both agree ( nothing legal but as a guid ) it helps as a guidance and allows master to do anything he wishes to me as long as i have agreed to it on the list , for example he can tie me up and gag me , and then bend me over so he can spank me without asking if its ok , as its on the list of things i have agreed to beforehand , it helps make it more realistic for me as i have no idea what he has in mind for me during play , it put a stop to him asking if im alright every time he does something to me when we play , the actual rules are kept to a minimum for me and i don`t have to think to much , he takes complete control of me so basically i just do as im told and it works for us

SubtleHush​(sub female) • Sep 5, 2021

Some use a Butler Book. Which is a book carried by the sub or slave that has all the information that person may need to be of good service.

There is no shame in having such a book and it often ensures successful efforts.

On the other hand, if your rules are not noteworthy enough to be remembered maybe you need to make sure they are purposeful and useful and not just ego-run-amok stuff. Nowhere does it say that employing rules make your more domly or masterly.

If your sub can't remember them, and if this is a two-way dynamic then you are part of the problem as well.

Take a closer look. There should be good reasons for rules.

ButterfliesAndCuffs​(sub female) • Sep 6, 2021

Could it be that there are too many rules? Sometimes life can get in the way and a task might not get completed. I’d definitely check in like the others posters suggested to see if she still agrees to and thinks she can follow them. Or maybe just remove a few for a while and see if it helps.

Balthezor​(dom male) • Sep 6, 2021

Start with a few then add in time. If she’s getting punished so much she either enjoys being punished or she’s having a time remembering everything. She’s a person first so all that people shit from life can spill over. Talk to her, & talk to her.