Are there aggressive/dominant subs?

Are there aggressive/dominant subs?

Submmisive Boi​(sub male){Punish Me} • Sep 2, 2021

This is a question I've had for a while, as a gay sub male is it normal to be aggressive during sex. I still want to be the one taking it but I often find the idea of forcing my partner to do what I want every now and then (like riding him,tying him up,or forcing him to a certain position)exciting, is this normal for a sub?

Mufasadagreat • Sep 2, 2021

Thats more of topping from the bottom.

rosethorn​(sub female) • Sep 2, 2021

Could be switching?

ButterfliesAndCuffs​(sub female) • Sep 2, 2021

I would say that’s being a switch rather than an aggressive submissive.

Bunnie • Sep 2, 2021

What’s normal? Perhaps it could be that you’re more primal (a natural aggression). It can also be perceived that a brats style of submission is aggressive (a defensive aggression). If it feels right for you, just find someone who it feels right for too

House Talion​(dom male) • Sep 3, 2021

It sounds like a primal/prey sort of thing.

Taramafor​(sub male) • Sep 3, 2021

Let's examine the context here. I know someone that enjoys the direct approch. And I refuse to call it "topping from the bottom". If you're on TOP then you're on TOP. Wherever you're told or otherwise pounce knowing they want/like it is another matter. Conditions for which may vary.

Thinking of in in terms of "label here" is a mistake IMO. The question is, does the other person instruct/tell you what to do, and are you being "aggresive" when they make it known they like it or not? And if not then do they enjoy it?

Personally I encourage that kind of treatment done to me. And if someone is direct (let's say they're really good with control) and instructs/informs then I'd pounce on them too. People "that good" aren't fragile and can handle it. Positive, playful types no matter what's going on. Yet at the same time direct and firm and not afraid to employ force when needed.

So perhaps "controlled aggression" would be more accurate. That does include knowing when to "let loose".

I'm aggresive but in a controlled way. Doms/people good with control like it. If they don't then they're too delicate for me. But even someone that is fragile can learn. But you can't afford to coddle them. Which ties back in with aggression. Let someone know they're fragile and apparently they want to be able to handle more. In general at first and then physically.

Re: Are there aggressive/dominant subs?

Miki​(masochist female) • Sep 3, 2021

Don't get caught in the trap of analyzing something to death.

What is most important is you and your partner get satisfaction however you play it, whichever "roles" either wants to take on in a given "session".

Remember, there shouldn't be any cast-in-stone definition of what one should be doing and should not be doing as a submissive or dominant. No one is "authorized" to declare one set of preferences in that dynamic as "official and sanctioned".

Same goes for labels. If you're the controlling partner in one situation you're the "top" If you're taking it where you like it, being the passive sexual partner in another situation than you're the "bottom"

I have seen the expression 'topping from the bottom" often, and to me that only really applies to those couples who want their roles as defined and carved into life's tree trunk.

They have their thing, you have yours and there is simply no right or wrong answer.

Just do your thing and if you're both happy, then that is all that matters.

Lady Char​(sub female) • Sep 3, 2021

Labels are there as a guide, not as boxes for us to fit ourselves into. You can just be you, and as long as it works in your dynamic, it's all good.

SageFlame​(sub female) • Sep 3, 2021

I do think labels are necessary.
It is an expression of passion and perhaps primal at that.

I would discuss those urges with your partner and communicate your needs.

Your desires don't always need to fall into a category. But desires should always be openly discussed.