Femdom ads; the inevitable money demand.

Femdom ads; the inevitable money demand.

jcalzonenyc • Sep 26, 2021

Tired of “ SEND ME MONEY TO PROVE SINCERITY.” Just exhausted at all today’s female “ dominants” claiming superiority and yet demanding money. I’d like to think it’s an insult for any male to suggest pay for play.

MissMelisandre​(dom female) • Sep 26, 2021

I agree. Report them as I believe that violates the TOS. But there are some legit dominas here who are not after your money. Just everything else!

Steellover​(sub male) • Sep 26, 2021

This is why I gave up on the idea of online BDSM dating a long time ago.

There used to be a lot of young-ish (18-25) "Female Dominants" on the online dating sites who would list their one and only preferred kink/fetish as "Financial Domination." I always thought, well, at least they are being honest from the get-go, if nothing else.

Villanelle​(staff) • Sep 26, 2021

As MissMelasandre states this violates our rules. You can confidentially report them by visiting their profile and clicking on the "report this user" button at the bottom of the page. By taking a moment to do this you help make the community that much safer, especially for novices who may not realize that money demands from strangers is not a normal practice.

foryrpleasher​(sub male) • Oct 13, 2021

I have been a victim to that more then once you would figure a person would learn but no mater where I looked to find me a new owner it was all the same and it vareys from 50 to 500 for so called filling of papers whitch I've found to be in true thanks to the cage I know better.

Steellover​(sub male) • Oct 13, 2021

Some of these femdom dating scammers, you can almost tell it's not legit just by the way they write. I corresponded with someone for a while, not through this site but through a defunct one, and "Her" (if it was a her) messages almost read like they were written in a language other than English, and translated using Google translate. Lots of random spelling and weird grammar errors.

And in my experience I would try to pose questions, get to know her, asked her for her phone number so we could at least chat before meeting face to face, but it seemed like her responses never answered any of my questions directly. She would just ask about my kinks, give me a list of rules to follow...and after about four or five messages in, came the inevitable request for money, for a "Training kit."

At this point I did some research and (As expected) I found that this person/bot had tried this on other dating sites, sending the exact same messages with the exact same wording, and claimed to be from multiple parts of the country at the same time.

Cressida Clytie​(masochist female)​{Taken} • Oct 13, 2021

Regardless of what role. If they ask for money, go run. There are people who use findom as a means of living which is not right. If you're not into that, just move forward. There are a lot of genuine Dommes out there who have integrity in what they do. Just be patient.

Miki​(masochist female) • Oct 13, 2021

Those "femdoms" asking for pay-to-play are preying upon those who seek such a dynamic yet faced with the fact that dommes aren't as visible or active --- or available as male dominants. Most genuine and decent female dominants have little to no trouble finding a sub who is to their liking and with whom there is good chemistry. That's just how it works--- not that I agree with that idea in the least, and I am glad "pay for play" come-ons are not permitted on this site.

But there are sites where this is allowed, even though such is a form of solicitation and is generally as illegal as going to a cathouse or porpositioning a sex-worker on a street corner.

As for those who tire of running into these money-grabbers, the best thing to remember is that if something usually hard to find is strangely and suddeenly available... Don't bother. If something is too good to be true.. Well, everyone knows the rest of that cliche.

Steellover​(sub male) • Oct 14, 2021

My only avenue in actually fulfilling my femdomme fantasies was in seeing a paid professional domme that was local to me. The differences were, I knew she was obviously in it for the money from the get go, AND (this was the key) she never demanded that I SEND her money without a face to face meeting first- so she was legit and not a scammer in that respect. Unlike a lot you see online who insist on payment before you ever meet them or even talk to them face to face (because typically you will never do either) So... She was everything a dominatrix was supposed to be but, she was still a findomme. And I never realized to what extent she was a findomme until the increasingly frequent demands for expensive gifts, clothing, spending sprees, etc started to add up- and this was on top of the already expensive weekly session fees. After a while the thrill of submitting to her wore off.

So the point is this: Their are findommes and outright scammers. The former are at least real flesh and blood people who will "play" with you, albeit on a pay to play basis, and you will find that the cost will go up the more you choose to play. The latter, you send money to (most likely) some guy in Russia or Ukraine pretending to be your dream mistress, and of course you will never see "her" face to face- or your money, once you send it.

Then there are mutual femdomme D/s relationships which are mutually fulfilling, the male submits out of love and attraction, she dominates him because she truely enjoys doing so, and the kinks they share, and the relationship goals, are mutually fulfilling. Those relationships are rare. Cherish them!

Amallurstouse​(sub male)​{I'm uncoll} • Oct 18, 2021

Hello I've experienced the same. It's very frustrating for someone that's willing to explore all with dominant and not find one.