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Meeting for the first time

Scarlett Sophie​(sub female)
7 months ago • Jan 13, 2022

Meeting for the first time

Hello fellow kinksters icon_smile.gif

In less than four days, I'll be meeting my Sir for the first time after talking and playing online for nearly two months. I am both excited and nervous at the same time! I wanted to use this forum as a way to hear other people's experience meeting their Dom or sub for the first time.

All tips, tricks, and stories are welcome!
CSI​(sub female)
7 months ago • Jan 13, 2022
CSI​(sub female) • Jan 13, 2022
You may not like what I have to say, but I definitely a "safety first" kinda gal. First off, I think it's fantastic and spectacular that you get to met this fellow and I can sense your excitement from over here. I am going to assume that you have thoroughly vetted this person and know them like the back of your hand and most of their likes and dislikes far beyond kink. You may have done a background check or even checked to make sure they don't have a criminal record or that they aren't married...I am also sure you know all about sub frenzy and new relationship energy along with the heightened dose of lust that comes with new dynamics.

As for the meet itself, I recommend setting up safe calls with a trusted friend. Right when you arrive and every couple of hours thereafter. The trusted friend should have all of the persons information (full name, phone number, email, social media handle, etc).

As for stories, let's just say at one point I got carried away in the moment and ended up tied up in a hotel with someone I had only spoken to on-line and no one knew where I was and leave it at that. Please be as safe as possible and listen to your gut. If you believe this person will listen if you say stop and your safe word, that is great, but I am definitely more of a slow and steady person now that I have been around the block a few times.
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Scarlett Sophie​(sub female)
7 months ago • Jan 13, 2022
CSI wrote:
You may not like what I have to say, but I definitely a "safety first" kinda gal. First off, I think it's fantastic and spectacular that you get to met this fellow and I can sense your excitement from over here. I am going to assume that you have thoroughly vetted this person and know them like the back of your hand and most of their likes and dislikes far beyond kink. You may have done a background check or even checked to make sure they don't have a criminal record or that they aren't married...I am also sure you know all about sub frenzy and new relationship energy along with the heightened dose of lust that comes with new dynamics.

As for the meet itself, I recommend setting up safe calls with a trusted friend. Right when you arrive and every couple of hours thereafter. The trusted friend should have all of the persons information (full name, phone number, email, social media handle, etc).

As for stories, let's just say at one point I got carried away in the moment and ended up tied up in a hotel with someone I had only spoken to on-line and no one knew where I was and leave it at that. Please be as safe as possible and listen to your gut. If you believe this person will listen if you say stop and your safe word, that is great, but I am definitely more of a slow and steady person now that I have been around the block a few times.


Thank you so much for sharing and being so real. I love everything that you had to say, and couldn't agree more about safety - it's my first and foremost priority, and all your advice is greatly appreciated and noted.
dollMaker​(dom male)
7 months ago • Jan 13, 2022
dollMaker​(dom male) • Jan 13, 2022
Safe calls are a must.

Have you vetted this person, got references from previous play partners? If not I suggest you do, its not too late.
IronWorld​(sadist male)
7 months ago • Jan 13, 2022
IronWorld​(sadist male) • Jan 13, 2022
I always insist on safe calls and if possible, meeting in a public place. It's already been said, but you can't say it enough.

I remember one sub's safe call wanted to talk with me and told me that I better not hurt her. I could have taken this badly, but I didn't because I absolutely knew she picked the right person to make the safe call with. That sub got extra bite marks for her good judgment.
bigandsmall​(sub female)
7 months ago • Jan 13, 2022
bigandsmall​(sub female) • Jan 13, 2022
Hi Scarlett, I'm very happy to know you are opening doors to finding your true self and welcome to this site. There are many here experienced and new and happy to help you navigate. As stated before, I agree with all of the above and hope you take seriously. I am quite senior in my experiences but by no means qualified to tell others not to do what they think they want to do. While calling someone Sir without having met them or accepted my collar is not something I am comfortable with, (you're a mister ___ until committed for me) everyone's dynamic is different. The one thing that isn't, is doing your homework, not accepting you are what someone tells you are, that is your journey to discover and you will find this out as you get deeper involved.

Remember, you don't have to accept the use of say...a cane across your breast ... because other subs do. Some will tell you you must take whatever they want or you are not really a sub. NOT TRUE. You are young and have a full life ahead of you, and showing up for work bruised up visibly is not a good look. lol

You have a voice, USE IT. A real Dom will respect it . If he doesn't, run.
A first meeting is nerve racking. He is probably nervous too. Think of it as meeting a coworker for a few drinks after work and not a play scene. Be yourself, be Honest, take a pic of his drivers license to text to a friend lol... if you move to a different place text them where you are. you can do this discretely but most of all enjoy it as you would any date.

If he is a gentleman, he will end the evening without insisting you blow him lol A Dom's best quality should be his ability to have self control.

Most of all, take a deep breath and try to have fun.
Scarlett Sophie​(sub female)
7 months ago • Jan 14, 2022
bigandsmall wrote:
Hi Scarlett, I'm very happy to know you are opening doors to finding your true self and welcome to this site. There are many here experienced and new and happy to help you navigate. As stated before, I agree with all of the above and hope you take seriously. I am quite senior in my experiences but by no means qualified to tell others not to do what they think they want to do. While calling someone Sir without having met them or accepted my collar is not something I am comfortable with, (you're a mister ___ until committed for me) everyone's dynamic is different. The one thing that isn't, is doing your homework, not accepting you are what someone tells you are, that is your journey to discover and you will find this out as you get deeper involved.

Remember, you don't have to accept the use of say...a cane across your breast ... because other subs do. Some will tell you you must take whatever they want or you are not really a sub. NOT TRUE. You are young and have a full life ahead of you, and showing up for work bruised up visibly is not a good look. lol

You have a voice, USE IT. A real Dom will respect it . If he doesn't, run.
A first meeting is nerve racking. He is probably nervous too. Think of it as meeting a coworker for a few drinks after work and not a play scene. Be yourself, be Honest, take a pic of his drivers license to text to a friend lol... if you move to a different place text them where you are. you can do this discretely but most of all enjoy it as you would any date.

If he is a gentleman, he will end the evening without insisting you blow him lol A Dom's best quality should be his ability to have self control.

Most of all, take a deep breath and try to have fun.


Very wise words BigandSmall, thank you so so much. Reading your message was a must before my meeting, and I know that anyone else preparing for their first face-to-face who have stumbled across this forum will appreciate it as well. When I first started in this lifestyle, I thought being submissive meant having no voice. But over the years I have learned how incredibly NOT true that is. My voice and my words are one of my most powerful, sexy features as a submissive and I wouldn't have it any other way. Again, thank you thank you for sharing!
LongerJohnny​(dom male){Catcher}
5 months ago • Feb 24, 2022
I regret that I missed commenting about this, and I hope your meeting went very well!
I will happily share the story of meeting my sub for the first time. I wrote a blog post about it a few days ago
https://thecage.co/blog/userblog.php?blog_id=64412&postid=69309
but I'll recap:

We had commented on several of each other's forum and blog posts, and eventually started messaging. That turned into friendly chatting outside of here.
Over the following month we chatted every day and became better friends until one day we both felt like "wow - I really like this person!"
Next couple months we texted and called and cammed every day, and developed very affectionate feelings for each other, slowly moving into more dynamic type of stuff.
After 3 months we finally met in person and in spite of being very, very nervous it was incredible! We fell into each other's arms within seconds of seeing each other and never let go for 6 days. Everything was perfect. The whole time we laughed non-stop, talked all night, cuddled like we were physically attached. We did absolutely everything together: ate, showered, watched silly movies, slept. And all the naughty stuff...
And on 2/21/2022 we announced right here that it is official: I am her Dom, and she belongs to me now, and we are both as happy as can be about it.
It was extremely difficult for both of us to say goodbye and we both dropped stupid hard after our time together was over. But we have continued to message or talk and see each other everyday, all day. And we're already planning our next visit!

It can work. And it can be so exciting. It certainly was for us.
I hope that it was for you too.
Scarlett Sophie​(sub female)
5 months ago • Feb 25, 2022
LongerJohnny wrote:
I regret that I missed commenting about this, and I hope your meeting went very well!
I will happily share the story of meeting my sub for the first time. I wrote a blog post about it a few days ago
https://thecage.co/blog/userblog.php?blog_id=64412&postid=69309
but I'll recap:

We had commented on several of each other's forum and blog posts, and eventually started messaging. That turned into friendly chatting outside of here.
Over the following month we chatted every day and became better friends until one day we both felt like "wow - I really like this person!"
Next couple months we texted and called and cammed every day, and developed very affectionate feelings for each other, slowly moving into more dynamic type of stuff.
After 3 months we finally met in person and in spite of being very, very nervous it was incredible! We fell into each other's arms within seconds of seeing each other and never let go for 6 days. Everything was perfect. The whole time we laughed non-stop, talked all night, cuddled like we were physically attached. We did absolutely everything together: ate, showered, watched silly movies, slept. And all the naughty stuff...
And on 2/21/2022 we announced right here that it is official: I am her Dom, and she belongs to me now, and we are both as happy as can be about it.
It was extremely difficult for both of us to say goodbye and we both dropped stupid hard after our time together was over. But we have continued to message or talk and see each other everyday, all day. And we're already planning our next visit!

It can work. And it can be so exciting. It certainly was for us.
I hope that it was for you too.


Wow icon_smile.gif Stories like yours make my heart beyond warm Johnny! I am so happy for you and your sub, and am so glad you shared this story on this thread. Because you are completely right - it can work! When you find that person, and it just clicks...there is no other feeling like it. I will share, very happily, that this was the case for me as well! The meeting went above and beyond all expectations. He is absolutely incredible in every way (expect for his choice of pizza...but hey, a girl can let a few things slide) and we have already met up a second time. The goodbyes are quite hard, as you said. I find myself simply missing being with Him. But I am just so unbelievably grateful that our paths crossed, and that I get to be His. I am sure you are feeling rather similar! Thank you again for sharing!!
HandsyMandy
5 months ago • Feb 25, 2022
HandsyMandy • Feb 25, 2022
Im new to the cage, and stumbling across this forum has been so good. I am so excited to finally be active in the BDSM and kink world,a dn I am excited to learn lots.