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being rude

iamnotyourdrama​(sub female)
2 weeks ago • Jul 22, 2022

being rude

Asking for help; apparently I am the rudest person alive - I am constantly being told that I am being rude, and when I ask them to describe what it is that I am actually doing, their response is often - 'If you don't know then never mind.'

Is it rude not answer direct questions and respond with, in time I will share the answer with you?
Is it rude to ask someone to read my blog if they want a deeper understanding of who I am and where I have been?
Is it rude to only share pieces of myself that I am comfortable with?

Seriously wanting to understand what being rude looks like; in your response please identify the circumstances you are describing rudeness - getting to know you phase or already in a dynamic?

Thank you in advance.
FlyingAlan
2 weeks ago • Jul 22, 2022
FlyingAlan • Jul 22, 2022
ANY good Dom or owner should be striving to make his sub or slave a better person overall. If they won't even stop to correct and advise, then how much time do you think they have for you at other times ??

I personally think it's quite sexy when I explain something to a new sub and she "gets it" and then puts that corrective action into play. If all they want is a dumb door mat, then make sure that you don't get involved if that's not the dynamic your looking for.

I have always said even a slave has to make a choice. She needs to vet and make sure that the Dom she chooses is the right one. Once she accepts him THEN you can let him make all the decisions or whatever your looking for. but BEFORE you choose one, you have all the right in the world to ask questions, clarify issues, and make sure that Dom is someone worthy of giving control over too.
NVMister
2 weeks ago • Jul 22, 2022
NVMister • Jul 22, 2022
Being new especially as a sub must be difficult, I had a mentor and group when I first started. My advice is to remind who your talking to that they have not yet earned your submission, that the field is equal and if they think less off you that they should stop corresponding. You wouldn’t call anyone hubby on the first date, any any real Dom would want a half ass submission meaning submitting before you know who you are, your hard/soft limits, what triggers, fears, and such you may have.
A Cloud​(sub female)
2 weeks ago • Jul 22, 2022
A Cloud​(sub female) • Jul 22, 2022
If they cannot tell you what they find rude, it just means they're personal insecurities and demons have been triggered.
Being assertive and having clear boundaries is not rude but does disrupt other's assumptions/expectations of you. It is commendable that you are able to know and speak your truth but not everyone will like it.
Sasa​(dom female)
2 weeks ago • Jul 22, 2022
Sasa​(dom female) • Jul 22, 2022
The recipient of the message determines the content. It is that easy. If someone is hurt by me, I don't ask why and how they could feel such nonsense... I take them seriously, even if I don't have the feeling I did anything wrong.
Venting here is ok. You seem to feel misunderstood... but nobody knows what happened between you and the other person.
    The most loved post in topic
moll​(other female){owned slav}
2 weeks ago • Jul 22, 2022
Telling a person that 'If you don't know then never mind" is just a copout. If a person is going to make an accusation, then they should be adult enough to explain what they mean. Hell.....you may actually be doing something they consider rude, but if they don't explain what it is....you can't be expected to correct it or explain yourself.

This is my opinion:

It's not rude to ask someone to read your blog to get a better understanding about you, but for me there are limits. Reading blogs and posts are great if you want to keep the relationship to online, but if you want it to be real life....then one should be able to communicate verbally. It doesn't have to be perfect, but it shows that you are serious about having a relationship.

Answering direct questions? To me it's all depends on the direct question. Some questions are just rude in the asking and then there are some that are more appropriate after time.

Sharing only pieces that you are not comfortable sharing? At first, absolutely. In time, when trust is established, you will feel more comfortable sharing...but that takes time and patience. But keep in mind that a D/s or M/s relationship takes a lot of communication and honesty with each other.

The problem is that even though we have amazing technology when it comes to communicating with others, most people do not know how to communicate. I know it doesn't make sense.
Bunnie
2 weeks ago • Jul 23, 2022
Bunnie • Jul 23, 2022
If you’ve been told it more than once, that’s usually when it’s time for some introspection, in my opinion.
Perhaps it’s not so much *what* you’re saying, but *how* you’re saying it?
I have been pulled up on that a lot. It can be difficult to shift behaviour that we can’t directly see ourselves… but if others are telling us it’s there, clearly it’s there. It never hurts (beyond our ego) to take it as feedback and take it on board and learn from it.
djinni​(dom female){smplylaura}
2 weeks ago • Jul 23, 2022
You don’t owe anyone anything…. Period.

You have every right to hold things back and take the time to learn to trust someone before you open your whole world to someone. Sounds like gaslighting to me, which is so typical behavior when you aren’t giving an insta-dom what they want when they want it. Petulance and gas lighting. “You’re rude because you don’t give me what I want when I think I deserve it”. It’s like a toddler who screams “I hate you” at their mom because she won’t give them fruit snacks.

Stand your ground and take your time. You owe them nothing and any dominant worth your time will go on a journey with yiu, rather than a sprint so they can get in your panties.
EssenceAmore
2 weeks ago • Jul 23, 2022
EssenceAmore • Jul 23, 2022
Well they should have read your profile first but then conversation both of you back to forth. Like after a few conversation you can say you have a blog but that up to them if they want to read it if they just trying to dig real information and just sex its a waste of time. But if they willing to find what you like what they like about you willing to read you blog some will just go ahead reading. Some so do not read profile's go by picture's if they just say they wanna know more about you do not even have to reply. Your getting to know people as well here so keep the blog after the third message let them win you over first but you could write in your profile if you like to get to know me more read my blog.
Katabasis​(other female)
2 weeks ago • Jul 23, 2022

Re: being rude

Katabasis​(other female) • Jul 23, 2022
I'm Enough wrote:
Asking for help; apparently I am the rudest person alive - I am constantly being told that I am being rude, and when I ask them to describe what it is that I am actually doing, their response is often - 'If you don't know then never mind.'

Is it rude not answer direct questions and respond with, in time I will share the answer with you?
Is it rude to ask someone to read my blog if they want a deeper understanding of who I am and where I have been?
Is it rude to only share pieces of myself that I am comfortable with?

Seriously wanting to understand what being rude looks like; in your response please identify the circumstances you are describing rudeness - getting to know you phase or already in a dynamic?

Thank you in advance.


It’s not rude. None of those things are rude there are simply many candy asses who want what they want and they want it now.