Musing turned Inquiry: Demanding Relocation

Musing turned Inquiry: Demanding Relocation

Brooklyn Not Looking • Jun 7, 2023

I've found that most dominant profiles that want long term have been firm about the submissive needing to relocate. Relocate away from their community and their own people, though yes you can have or become part of one.

However, I have yet come across a profile that is willing to relocate themselves or consider negotiating that aspect.

Has anyone come across profile or even individuals in their experience where the Dominant can and will relocate?

Does anyone consider demanding relocation to their home a Red Flag?

What would it mean for a Dominant to be flexible in relocating if they want the same from their submissive? Are they less or more desirable?

How many submissives here can actually relocate? And the benefits to relocation?

CotrolYourHole • Jun 7, 2023

That’s a hardcore step for sure- if you are looking for a casual play partner (& have made that clear), then obviously a Dom shouldn’t expect that…BUT for a M/s, DD/lg or any dynamic that requires total trust & control, then of course living together ASAP is going to be best. Committing to each other for life after 1 month and her moving in at 2 months felt very normal & healthy for me & my wife/sub. But we had a spiritual basis BEFORE the sexual aspect to our dynamic so we aren’t a “normal” case by any measurement. Just wanted to say that YES quick relocation is in fact needed & hugely rewarding for some dynamics

Ubasti​(sub female){N/A} • Jun 7, 2023

Very nice musing to bring up. I agrée most DOM profile and the ones I’ve talked to want you to relocate to them. A guy I was talking to at the beginning of the year tried to move me to Columbus, Ohio so he could “send for me” to come to his cabin. Turns out he has a wife he’s been cheating on. Talking with other submissive this isn’t uncommon to have a committed person relocate you close to them with “reasons” other than the truth to have you at an arms length away.

There are some Dom that I’ve talked to that are willing to start a new life together and are willing to discuss about their relocation and/or starting somewhere fresh for both. I’ve read on here about some success to this. I’ve talked with some that have careers that allow them to move. I’m currently talking with someone who is like me. Our careers aren’t set in one fixed place per say.

I do believe there is validity in what ConteolYourHole said above. There are certain dynamics that living together is best for the health of the dynamic and individuals involved. So moving in together sooner than later is the best option.

Overall moving near someone or in with them is a huge step in one’s life. There should be open honest discussion about feelings, finances, household duties, and such before moving towards such things for both a Dom and submissive.

TopekaDom​(dom male) • Jun 7, 2023

Mostly, the Dom/me making the s type move to them is a control issue. I moved my former slave from AZ out here back in the late 90s. Though it was on my dime.

I also know a couple of Doms that have moved to the s type and even one Dom/Domme couple that moved half way to new property.

However these day, most of what you see on profiles is someone DEMANDING the s type move to them is because they can't get the mobile home out of the trailer park.

djinni​(dom female){smplylaura} • Jun 8, 2023

I happily moved across the country to join my submissive in Colorado. No regrets and it was the best decision I’ve ever made. I think it depends on where people are in their lives. I was in a transitional state of my life, she was not.

SirsBabyDoll​(sub female){Pizza+☕} • Jun 8, 2023

I know of one couple (here) where the Dom moved across the country to his submissive and then they got a place together. It's been 4 years now.

alawey​(sub female){(OWNED BY } • Jun 8, 2023

I moved 9 hours away ( KY to NC) to be with my Wulf.ad we bought our house together. I have also know a few Doms who moved to be with thier sub or atleast closer. Granted there is things such as being able to relocate with thier jobs, or in a field where they can find a job anywhere.

I was once told by a Dom I have much respect for and is a close friend. That any sub should not move with out much thought into it, along with the dom having sub set up in a way. *the Dom is insisting that you move to him. 2 things have you actually in person met. And Is the Dom paying for it, or atleast over half. ?*

My own thoughts along with that and also if you are to have your ( sub) own place . Did the Dom find a place, and able /willing to help pay the deposit and a few months rent until you are able to get a job . ?

Little Vixie​(sub female){Mgh30} • Jun 8, 2023

I always thought that that was crazy to me. Most doms that I've met that wanted a live in slave would get mad when I would tell them that I needed time to talk to them. That is a very big step.
Rn I'm moving in my dom after almost 2 years of talking. Not specifically for the bdsm relationship, but because of a job opportunity his way and we thought that it'd be the most fitting. He is my best friend and I trust him with my life. We aren't dating outside of our d/s relationship which makes our dynamic interesting.

ButterfliesAndCuffs​(sub female) • Jun 8, 2023

My Sir moved across states so that we could be closer and see each other more often. He had already been planning to move anyway. I just changed his destination ideas a little bit. Plus it was just more feasible for him to move versus me relocating. At first he moved about an hour away in a different state but now we’re only 6 little tiny minutes away.

CotrolYourHole • Jun 8, 2023

I agree 100%….the Dom should cover moving expenses for the sub, because if you are trying to start a live-in relationship then it’s only natural as the Leader in the dynamic that you provide for her that way. I know many young very Dominant guys might be able to fulfill a subs needs sexually & mentally while they are still in school and/or not financially stable yet, but a 24/7 live in dynamic is a big responsibility and you shouldn’t make a sub (especially a young one) feel obligated to pay for her move when she’s likely barely getting by rn. I wasn’t making very good money when I found my wife but I conserved $ best as I could & paid her gas, food expenses & took over her car insurance when she moved in (Not to mention rent lol which as a Dom is ultimately on you). If a “Dom” isn’t willing to help you move then like somebody stated above, he might be hiding something or not who he portrays himself as