Can a sub develop a tolerance for impact play?

Can a sub develop a tolerance for impact play?

primerose • Aug 25, 2023

I pretty much enjoy spanking with a hand. I want to enjoy a level up with toys for my Dom. He hasn't brought it up at all, fyi.

I want to tolerate it better, but nothing that would leave marks just a bit more pain.

Does anyone have any tips? Do subs attempt this or am I barking up the wrong tree?

FunCouple{.-Couple-.} • Aug 25, 2023

Hello

When a person becomes sexually aroused, there ability to accept harder impacts, I have found, increases.
In both Kitty and Princess’s case; both experience more intense orgasms.
It’s also hood practice to start gently and build up.
A good Top should start softly and build up their impacts.
Just like an athlete warms up first.

Hope this helps
FC

PS
I have found for both my girls, as they became familiar with their impact experience, I can strike a little harder than I did originally.
Remember…. Keep simple communication going whist in the scene.
I ask a simple question “Colour?” during impact sessions and expect a one word response ….. Green, Yellow or Red.
That’s enough to not distract their journey towards ‘sub-space’
It works for us.

primerose • Aug 25, 2023

Thank you!

Little Vixie​(sub female){Mgh30} • Aug 25, 2023

As someone who would let someone touch me with a cane 2 years ago, yes it is possible.
For me it was a mental mind block. Psyched myself by saying it was going to hurt.
Now I love impact play. Becoming a maso at heart. I get wet and turned on to impact
Start slow then build up. Spanking by hand, then maybe a light floggered. Go in with the mentality that you want to try. Don't tell yourself that it's going to hurt. Doing that will cause it to hurt even more.
Try it on yourself if your dom will let you. Have an understanding how a toy is handled and how it is used. A flogger hurts different than compared to a cane. You will feel your stingy impact toys and you will feel your thuddy impact toys.
If you are in a heightened sub space, the toys will hurt less. Foreplay or doing scenes before impact will help your tolerance.

Satindragon • Aug 25, 2023

Most experienced Doms will do as stated in the other comments, start slow and easy, then build up.

We also follow the color rule. Especially in the beginning when he is learning how your skin reacts to the chosen tool. Once he is familiar with your skin he will know your limit before you even get there.

In my opinion the best way to prepare for impact play is to relax. Just like getting a shot at the doctors office. The more relaxed you are the less it hurts.

As another poster said, stay open minded. We all fear the unknown. So relax and trust your Sir. Because if you don't trust the person you are with....you have no business being in that situation.

Bunnie • Aug 25, 2023

Simple answer, yes, we can develop a tolerance for impact play. Actually whether we like it or not, our skin becomes “tougher.” When I first began impact play my skin marked and I was left with beautiful bruises to admire
however after some sessions I noticed that the things that once left me marked no longer did. Speaking with others made me realise this is pretty common. Our bodies are very adaptable. We ourselves are very adaptable also… if it’s a journey that you want to go on you’ll discover much about yourself.

In ways to be able to “step it up a notch,” I agree that arousal makes a huge difference in lessening how much something hurts. And I’d suggest a soft, lightly weighted flogger. Something that will bring a new sensation, but can be used in a way that is lighter than a hand until you decide where you want to go from there. Another option is a belt perhaps. There are many different belts and they all feel different.

And just something I wanted to point out… it isn’t necessary to “step it up a notch” to still have a very fulfilling journey together (it doesn’t sound like your Sir is dissatisfied with where you’re both at). Too often I see people treating pain or masochism like it’s some kind of goal to work towards. In my opinion, it’s not. Find a place that brings enjoyment or connection or whatever it is you’re seeking to achieve together, and explore there

And a little fyi: Over-the-knee hand spanking is still one of my most favourite things! The intimacy just makes my soul sing

I'mME • Aug 26, 2023

Primrose,

Bunnie gave you some great tips..

I get what you are asking, why not speak to your Dom and pose this question to him. Heck there are many things around the house y'all may could experiment with, lol.

If his experience is limited in impact toys, just let me know and I will hunt up a resource on different things and the kinds of impact they may make. And it depends on you also, everyone is different in how they react to different implements.

I will see if I can find the resource. I used to be terrible when I saved something, just sticking it anywhere, no order. I have found my my way back to being more organized but haven't collected everything.

Sincorrigible​(sub female) • Aug 26, 2023

Yep... Leather bum

But, on a more serious note, as others have said, a decent top /dominant has the skills to build, and build, and build sensation. If you had told me the level of whipping /caning /flogging etc I could take when I began my journey, I would have laughed in your face and told you how unhinged you were.

And that's before you bring in the submissive desire to suffer, for his pleasure. Total head fuck.

So yes, you can.

Sweetlydepraved​(masochist female){Owned} • Aug 26, 2023

I’ve been trying to think about this question and how to answer it because I feel that the word tolerance throws me off. I don’t tolerate pain, I don’t endure it to please my Daddy, it isn’t something he makes me tolerate. It is something we share and lose ourselves in each in a different way. I also can’t say that I started off slow and built up, totally didn’t happen that way. I’m not saying that building up is wrong on any level, but it also isn’t the only way.

People also somehow think masochists don’t feel the pain as much or they’re just accustomed to it, also not always true. It’s more about we have learned to lean into the pain, let it wash over, and examine it as it traverses the body. Knowing you are safe and in good hands is paramount to this because otherwise you have fear mixed in and you can’t let go. Although sometimes a sadist doesn’t want you to let go but that’s a different topic!

My suggestion is to take a belt and hit your thigh hard, one time. Then look at the pain, notice what it really is, follow where it goes and where it stops, imagine which nerves are perked up, how long does it last, how does it feel as it fades away. Be curious about it! Then in your next play time work on applying some of that (mindfulness) and let go of the fear of the pain.

Hopefully some of that made sense!

TwoRingsOneChain • Sep 7, 2023

There's no such thing as barking up the wrong tree, when it is something that you and you're Dom both want.

Now if you're the one who wants the harder play, and have not brought it up to the Dom. It really does help, with the way that you package yourself to bring up something to the Dom.

For myself what I have done is kneeling in a manner that is pleasing to the Master. And once the Master has allowed me to speak, it is then that I would bring up the subject of being spanked more firmly.

Now there are all sorts of paddles, small whips, floggers and so on. If you're concerned about receiving marks there is also such a thing as a garden hose piece. Which has a really nice burn to it but leaves no marks.