Older Submissives Health Issues During Play

lambsone • Sep 24, 2023

B L O N D I E write:

" I'm saying don't add limiting beliefs on top of that to hold you back."

I love that comment. A very wise statement.

lambsone • Sep 24, 2023

Good for you Sweetlydepraved. You are an inspiration.

I'mME • Sep 24, 2023

lambsone,
He sounds like a good person.
I knew in the back of my head why some Doms put specific ages on their profiles.
Age is not a topic often talked about. As is often the case, there are many myths that come up when these topics are raised.
This is only one of the many reasons I do not think or speak in blanket statements.

Thank you for raising the question.

lambsone • Sep 25, 2023

You're welcome I'mMe.

Sincorrigible​(sub female) • Sep 25, 2023

I'm 54. Post menopausal, which came early.

There are physical issues that came as a result of that, and mental /emotional ones.

Physically, changes to a woman's body can be really hard to deal with mentally. I simply do not have the figure I used to have. Everything.. Shifts.... And that causes self confidence issues. I've found that that's affected my ability to let go. I spend inordinate amounts of mental energy trying to believe I'm okay/I'm attractive/I'm beautiful. Especially when being told so. I reject that information more often than not. And that causes engagement issues. It takes way more than it used to for me to believe a man saying those things. Because the default becomes 'you're just saying that to get laid/I'm not attractive'

Sex wise... Fuck me but there is nothing funny about not being able to fuck like you used to. I can't do rough. I can sometimes barely do 'normal'. My vaginal/labial skin is thinner. I can tear, bleed. And believe me, that is the WRONG kind of pain. If you are a sexual creature, that is VERY hard to deal with. Very. Even solo play causes issues sometimes (I never used to bleed with the insertion of kegel balls/dildoes). And did you know even receiving oral sex can fucking hurt???

And arousal is different, and.. Harder?? You don't get wet as much, or stay wet. And you need... Assistance. And there are just physical things you cannot do. I cringe looking back at things I did, knowing I just couldn't now. (but god damn it i will treasure that shit forever)

The way to deal with this: I'm slowly learning i AM STILL OKAY. I'm still sexual, I'm still sensual,, I'm still submissive. I think the trick is the same as it always was:find the right partner to interact with. Who listens, who is open to your sharing really quite sensitive info, and reacts appropriately. There are medical things you can do to help: vaginal creams, making sure you're prepped with good quality medically okayed lube (none of this fruit flavoured chemically corrupt shit... You have any idea how bad the cystitis can be from that crap?), maybe (true for me) ensuring your partner knows you need to be fastidious with hygiene : clean fingers, clean everything, regular urination during play. Antibiotics already prescribed in case of Uti. Etc etc etc..

I thought long and hard about posting this. Cos previous replies haven't been about the sex side per se. But if me being open about what I've experienced helps one single woman to feel better 'it's not just me, oh thank fuck', then I can wear the heart on sleeve vulnerability.

This can all be dealt with I believe. Just takes a shift in thinking. In us and in our partners.

lambsone • Sep 26, 2023

Kudos to you sincorrigible for sharing. It warmed my heart. I haven't had sex for 23 years and was honestly wondering if I still could. I noticed the dryness and tightness when I tried to insert a dildo last month. It was painful, so I used caution even with lube. Things were never an issue when I had a Master that long ago. I also hesitated getting back into this lifestyle because of it. So, my thanks for sharing the practical side of this. It's exactly what I needed to hear.

poppett{No} • Sep 26, 2023

I think there some very good points in some off the texts that’s y we have these sites because men and women suffer health problems r partners r active so they need to release frustration building up love xxx bill

lambsone • Sep 26, 2023

I agree poppett. The discussion has turned out to be very practical.

poppett{No} • Sep 26, 2023

Hi it’s poppett iam a 71. Year old I do keep fit by doing weights as this strengthens The bones and makes me feel
Better . I had a hip ppperation at 60. So I can walk an hour with my 8. Year old shnowzer called Charlie I all do do boxeing my punch bag in garage and use boxeing pads I used to bothe gym but not anymore iam going to enjoy life now with my master Poppett

lambsone • Sep 26, 2023

Good for you poppet and glad for you that you can enjoy life with your Master. I also need to do some serious exercising, and also believe it will help a lot. Take care.