Authenticity

Authenticity

Ingénue{VK} • Apr 8, 2024

If you've been told you need to "grow into your authentic self" how would you go about this? What does it even mean?

Any and all thoughts welcome.

(There isn't a forum for "Less Fun Topics" so I had to go with 'Generally Speaking").

Literate Lycan​(dom male) • Apr 8, 2024

I guess it would quite definitely depend upon a few factors. First thought, who exactly is telling you that you need to grow in any direction. How well does this unsolicited advice giver know you? I find that often unsolicited advice from stately sages who have gobs of experience typically involves a limited interaction where upon some new or barely new individual (in this case perhaps we shall be inclined to believe the advice giver is a dominant type) offers you their fantasy view upon what would make you more authentic to them.

The next thought I would have is how are you NOT being authentic? From what little (or lot) that I may or may not know you, you seem fairly authentic to me. A sub-thought (not to be confused with submissive but a subset of the aforementioned thought) would be is it a particular point of authenticity the advice is aimed at? I'm taking it (since we are here) the advice is aimed at you being in the lifestyle. Perhaps with regards to you being an authentic "submissive" or "Dominant" or "Some girl Friday".

The beauty is, we get to decide what our authentic self is. Those who we allow to get to know us truly and deeply can offer us perspective and advice, but some nit who barely knows you shouldn't be trying to mold you into what he (or she) believes is a more authentic you to fit their fantasy.

Going for another cup of coffee! Have a brilliant moment!

Falke​(sub female) • Apr 8, 2024

I've been told this before, mostly by friends that were concerned about the way I tended to hide myself from the outside world. I'm an incredibly reserved person and thought that I just didn't care to talk much about myself, but in reality I wasn't being "my authentic self" by hiding my thoughts.

I think being your authentic self consists of listening to what your body and mind are telling you instead of acting the way you were raised to if it doesn't fit your personality. Do you want to tell people about a new project? Do you want to go out for a run even if you haven't done it in years? Is there a new hobby you've been interested in picking up but haven't gotten around to? Doing all these spontaneous little things can help you be a realer version of yourself (as long as they're not harmful impulses).

Either way, it's like LL said above! You're the only one who gets to decide if you're being authentic. The only thing that matters is if you're happy with the person you are and the way you interact with the world around you. ♡

Varangian​(dom male) • Apr 8, 2024

Sounds like some hippy dippy, tree hugging, save the planet from itself, fuck the rich, god save the queen, free love, gen x, words hurt, bears do make a sound when they fall in the woods, corporate buzz word bullshit.

LL has some valid points, who is this person to you?

shebakesalot​(sub female) • Apr 8, 2024

Depends on who is asking me that question. If it's my therapist, fine. Their job is to uncover/discover my "true self" cause tRaUmA and all that. If it's someone else, they can kick rocks. I show up everyday as myself, with the intention to be a good person and do my best (whatever that is that day). From there, I can't control how people perceive me. ‍♀️

Miki • Apr 8, 2024

Any and all thoughts? Ohh Kayy...

Sorry to be a buzz-kill but that would be my business and anyone who instructs me to do something like that (meaning their registering an opinion to which all are entitled to but none are required to accept as any sort of gospel.

So I'd invite said individual to go scratch their ass... after pounding sand.. better effect.

Bunnie • Apr 8, 2024

“grow into your authentic self”

Growing into our authentic self, to me, is about wading through the shit of what was put in place either by others, or to survive, and learning to define what is actually truly “us.” Or perhaps more aptly… who we want to be by our own choosing, rather than reactiveness based on our past.

MisterAshmodai​(dom male) • Apr 8, 2024

Ideally, this is a constructive assessment of how deeply you are influenced by social presumption as opposed to your raw, internal drives.
There are two problems with taking this at face value.
With the current abundance of soccer-mom spirituality and the accessibility of keywords, you can no longer rely on the appearance of initiation to rule out anyone commenting from either a misinformed or actively manipulative position.
The second issue is that oftimes people who will offer such an assessment ignore the reality that some people actually wish to follow social norms, so their authentic self manifests in a way that is seen as counter when only viewing enlightenment from a contrarian mindset.

Either way, the only real course of action (should you choose to take any action at all), is to consider the comment at its most basic, as a prompt towards introspection. Only you have the ability to know whether or not you are actually being your authentic self. Are you inhibited by social expectation or other external concerns and is this contrary enough to your ultimate goals that you wish to change it?

A Minx • Apr 9, 2024

All very valid points... My view is to consider the source from whilst it came.

If you deeply care about the person who said that then I would take it to mean they wish to see you open up or reveal your truest form or self.
If you don't give two shits about this person or their opinions then they can bugger off!

I'mME • Apr 9, 2024

Ahhh, buzzwords, how did we ever get along without them.

Those that know, understand what I mean by this.

When strangers online tell someone they are this, they are that, I often ask

Did your witches gazing ball tell you that? Well, it's broken, it has a crack, throw it out.

Ingénue
I'm not sure who could say that you are not being 'authentic', but just because someone does not drop all their woes, lows, highs down onto a platform does not signal inauthentic, just someone who uses a platform in their own way.