Taboo origins?

Taboo origins?

Dromus​(sub femme) • May 31, 2024

In unfavorable circumstances, my mom learned about my interest in BDSM (I was born male). Not only do they think that there must be something wrong with me, but they think that I recognize aspects of them as a Domme and that they accidentally instilled them in me.
I can’t think about the prospect without wanting to hurl. But if the theory has any weight, or anyone can relate to this, could anyone please give me some examples of how?

Sweetlydepraved​(masochist female){I Guess } • May 31, 2024

I wrote a blog that may help you with this. If not, feel free to message me and we can talk through it!

https://thecage.co/blog/userblog.php?blog_id=8270&postid=85751

Miki​(masochist female) • Jun 1, 2024

I just think that the way BDSM people do their thing greatly differs from what is considered as the societal norm-- births the taboo.

I am no longer physically active in BDSM stuff-- but I retain the mindset... and I am grossly aware of mainstream perspectives vs the "twisted folk"..


Personally I do not favor issuing labels one side of the other, rather I prefer "Live and let Live"

Or as good buddy James Bond said: "Live and let die"

All a matter of perspective and whether one side or the other decides to be judges.

Ahh the root of human experience.


Rock On!

ByronDeSade • Jun 2, 2024

A "Taboo" is a societal activity or belief considered wrong. But whether it has any substance will be considered when it's challenged. For example, When Capt Cook visited Hawaii, many aspects of the Hawaiians contained strong taboos but when they were stopped, the folks just went on with their lives. Yet, when Cook attempted to take hostage the Chief of Hawaii, he was killed. See https://altalang.com/beyond-words/etymology-of-taboo/ &
https://lithub.com/how-do-you-kill-a-god-on-captain-cooks-ill-fated-arrival-in-hawaii/

lambsone • Jun 2, 2024

The only one in my family that knows I'm kinky is my baby brother who I think has a tendency toward kink himself. My other brother is gay, so I am sure he has dabbled in bdsm at some point. We don't talk to him anymore because of his bi-polar issues and how we get treated by him when we interract with him. My number one niece would probably keep my secret unless she gets drunk at some point and blurts it out ... hahaha. A married couple who are friends of mine know but don't want to talk about it. So I respect their choice.

Being a Born Again Christian, I would probably be excommunicated if I didn't repent of my proclivities. If they knew about it, I would probably be brought up to the elder board of the church and then kicked out if I refused to change my ways. They already have "sexual recovery" groups for men and women at my church so I just keep my mouth shut.

But I know how close a couple can be when they add bdsm to their relationship and for me it is a tool for increased intimacy physically, spiritually, emotionally, and mentally. So I doubt God wouldn't want a couple to fall more in love. I look forward to a loving relationship with bdsm included.

So no, you are not alone in the world of navigating bdsm and vanilla.

whoreviolet​(dom female) • Jun 2, 2024

hi, fellow trans chick here. so, people are often very keen to chalk up that which they don't really understand to personal flaws or psychological backstory -- it's honestly kind of tabloidesque sometimes. but it's hardly necessary or helpful to just sign onto this spurious interpretation just because your mother seems to be very attracted to its charms.

the question is. do you feel like your submissive kinks serve you? is your life enriched by your willingness to indulge them and experience them more fully and without apology? if your answers are "Yes" to both then you need not worry about whatever fancy pathologising and pseudo-psychoanalytical interpretation your mother may be sinking into at whatever moment. as you almost certainly know by now, people have been pathologising kinkiness (and transness, by the way) for ages and ages before your mum learned about your sexytimes desires. it's been going on for a really long time, and as unfortunate as it is it's hardly anything new or even, for that matter, remarkable. what your mom is doing isn't on you. there is no need to feel shame about who you are -- provided you feel healthy and happy exploring new landscapes of sexual and sensual experience. if that's not the case, then focus on what's not working for you. but if it's not? yeah, fuck all that. be willing to be yourself. you aren't gross just bc you're kinky, lol, that's pants-on-head ridiculous and belongs in the sermons of Cotton Mather. it's none of her business.

you got this, friend.

ByronDeSade • Jun 3, 2024

In terms of taboos, every nation and society has them. But a surreal number of taboos have been recently formed in the Woke movement, which perhaps many believe emerged from human evolution. But if you do some research, they're just designer made leftism meant to take away human freedom of speech. Just my take.

Sean

I'mME • Jun 3, 2024

ByrondeSade,

*But a surreal number of taboos have been recently formed in the Woke movement, which perhaps many believe emerged from human evolution.*

Taboos do not equal = human evolution.

Re: Taboo origins?

Literate Lycan​(dom male) • Jun 3, 2024

I'm not a psychologist nor did I stay in a Holiday Inn Express, but I do know that often when a child doesn't achieve what a parent dreams, the parents typically do one of two things: Blame the child or blame themselves. In this case, it sounds as if they blame themselves for your penchant for the lifestyle. I don't understand the full spectrum based upon just the short paragraph you've provided, but they may not understand what aspects of the lifestyle you are practicing. It's a way of protecting themselves and their beliefs and often it doesn't take into consideration the individual the child is becoming.

Perhaps your parents believe they were too overbearing on you and hence turned you into a submissive. If I'm reading your paragraph correctly.

I am wondering though: you reference your mother. Then indicate they and refer to them as Domme. Is it just your mother or is it both parents?

ByronDeSade • Jun 3, 2024

Since the phrase Tabu/Taboo originated in Hawaii, how did the Hawaiians overcome this debilitating idea? See https://luaus.org/how-kamehameha-ii-broke-the-taboos/