Is it a gift?

Is it a gift?

Heart of Persephone​(sub female)​{Yearning } • Sep 1, 2025

Do you see submission as some priceless gift? I want to know why you do or don't see it as a gift. Personally- It is NOT a gift. In the beginning I swore I did, and I also thought the submissive was the trajectory of the dynamic, that she held all the power. that she was some elusive gift and should be treated as such. Those thoughts were that of naivety, and selfishness. But after reading and long talks. those thoughts have changed. The gift is the Dynamic.

What are your thoughts and reasons of one way or the other, Is it a gift or something else?

seventhsoul​(sub female)​{considerin} • Sep 1, 2025

I agree, I’ve never understood the “gift” of submission. I give my submission to my Dominant, just as He gives His time, His patience, His guidance and leadership within the dynamic. Power exchange is no one’s pedestal, it’s a need and desire to be shared within the dynamic. It opens the heart to depths of devotion and growth.

Heart of Persephone​(sub female)​{Yearning } • Sep 1, 2025

Well said. Holding each other up, knowing each others weaknesses and filling those spaces, building.

TopekaDom​(dom male)​{Chaos } • Sep 1, 2025

This is an old school idea.

Back in the day, particularly on the then new internet (that is the World Wide Web), submissives needed a catch phrase to keep "Doms" from walking all over them, demanding submission.

What is lost over the debate is that the "gift' is the power exchange.

The s type does give up the power to D type. Now some see it as a gift, others do not.

So, in reality, anyone outside of a given relationship should not have any reflection what people inside that relationship say if it is or not a "gift"

Sweetlydepraved​(masochist female)​{Claimed } • Sep 1, 2025

I don’t see submission as a gift in the sense of one person handing over all the value. For me, it’s more of a living exchange…a sacred balance where both of us are constantly giving and receiving. The true gift is the dynamic itself, because it becomes something greater than the sum of its parts.

Daddy and I create a safe space where we can both bring our full selves. While I defer to him, I always have a voice, and that interplay is what keeps the connection alive. There’s something spiritual about that mutual surrender…not just mine to him, but both of us surrendering to the energy of the bond we’ve created together. It’s not about power in isolation; it’s about weaving trust, care, and devotion into something that sustains us both.

Anna Lynn​(sub female) • Sep 6, 2025

If memory serves me right, this stance came along shortly before I ventured onto the internet. It evolved as a way to try and keep the insta-doms at arms length. Or at least that was my perception of it.


Anyway, I have never thought of submission as a gift nor do I feel the s-type person holds all the power. I do not see dominance as a gift either. I see power exchange as two equally important people, both giving and taking within the dynamic.

Miki • Sep 6, 2025

Definitely a dated concept.

No one should be so conceited so as to think they're a "gift" to another.

A solid relationship with healthy communication and a recognition that each half adds to the whole--- BDSM or Manistream-- That can be called a "blessing" in this day and age of disposable relationships or people who move too fast and burn out of the arrangement --- A lasting connection is indeed a rare find, one that takes patience, persistence and honest work to find in the first place--then maintain-- as such these are "blessings" .

But I'm a sub and that makes me a gift??? No. A gift would be a fruit basket, flowers, even tickets to a N. Y. Jets game.....

... well that last one... Those can theoretically be gifts---- to go along with the black roses.

(I hope there aren't any of the Jets faithful who are members here...)

Steellover​(sub male) • Sep 10, 2025

In a healthy relationship, it is mutual gift to each other. Ideally, my domme's control over me is her gift to me, fulfilling a deep-seated need in me. And I would hope that my choosing to submit to her would likewise make her feel special.

Ingénue​{VK} • Sep 11, 2025

Are we looking gift horses in the mouth here?

Submission as receipt is more accurate.