New sub wondering about eye contact...

New sub wondering about eye contact...

Morley​(sub female){Max Sterne} • Aug 22, 2018

Hi Everyone,
I am very new & seeking this lifestyle and just joined this site today... I am looking to learn and get some good guidance. To me, I am not a "dive in head first person" never have been .... I want to explore the journey, educate myself and above all learn about myself. What I wonder is this... I feel very connected to the submissive roll, that is what resonates with me.... it is like it's my inner being/calling being answered..... without even going there. However, I am a true believer in straight eye contact. I understand that being a submissive means that "I" give the control over (they, the Dom don't "take it"). So, is it still being a submissive if you want that straight eye contact always (like that of my profile picture)?

Kara​(sub female){Dark Roast} • Aug 23, 2018

Do you submit ? Then you're a submissive. Submission doesn't mean giving up needs and wants. It doesn't mean that your Dominant does whatever he wants without a thought about what you want. It's a relationship where you both enjoy yourself. When talking to someone, mention your love of eye contact. If he doesn't want that, then move on.....not the Dom for you.

Morley​(sub female){Max Sterne} • Aug 23, 2018

Thank you Aria ..... well said! I will keep those words close to heart "not the Dom for me".

SubforHim​(sub female) • Aug 23, 2018

What Aria said. As you start to learn and grow within bdsm, you will start to form your must haves. If eye contact is one for you...then it’s something you need and should voice.

Just because you are a submissive doesn’t mean you have to give up everything.

DomForHer​(dom male) • Aug 23, 2018

I agree. I am still new as well but have learned that communication is key. Both people need to understand the needs and wants of the other person. There are still boundaries on both sides and having a safe word is always a good idea too. I’m a dom and still enjoy the intimate eye contact with my sub. Plus the look she gives that tells me “yes sir I submit to you” is the best

DomForHer​(dom male) • Aug 23, 2018

I agree. I am still new as well but have learned that communication is key. Both people need to understand the needs and wants of the other person. There are still boundaries on both sides and having a safe word is always a good idea too. I’m a dom and still enjoy the intimate eye contact with my sub. Plus the look she gives that tells me “yes sir I submit to you” is the best ?

You are submitting with the greatest of Love

Tinysubtreasure​(other female) • Aug 23, 2018

I must agree to every other answer given here.... Eye contact is EXTREMELY IMPORTANT to ME, not every moment, but Definitely “Before”, and “After” Care.... also during some acts of submitting. Greatest advice I can offer.... COMMUNICATION, COMMUNICATION, and MORE COMMUNICATION during your journey, and speaking with a potential Dom.... Discuss EVERY LIKE, and dislike BOTH YOU and he have.... sometimes a slight compromise can come into play on either side.... LOOK up at EVERY HARD LIMIT THERE IS!! And list EVERONE YOU HAVE!!! Communication leads to TRUST, and TRUST IS KEY to a BEAUTIFUL JOURNEY TOGETHER ? Much happiness my friend.

Freakontheblock​(switch male) • Aug 24, 2018

As a dom i find it incredibly hot when a sub makes eye contact with me. Eyes are very expressive and they can say a lot! From dominance to submission.
As others stated above this doesn't make you more or less submissive, it makes you you. And the right dom for you should respect that

Heart of Persephone​(sub female) • Aug 25, 2018

Eye contact is very important to a relationship, a Dom just doesn’t take from you.

Fudbar​(dom male){❤️❤️❤️} • Aug 25, 2018

@Morley39... I think you can see from the variety of answers on here that most agree with you.

Just wanted to point out as supplimental information and knowledge that no eye contact or always looking down is more uncommon than common in BDSM.

The only niches I've encountered similar rules in are TPE/24/7 M/s relationships and in certain Gorean protocols. Even in those cases, it's usually only expected during certain times. As they say, the eyes are the window to the soul, and very few would deny themselves that pleasure.