Once the heaviness starts to lift I see how truly lucky i am.
I am lucky to have experienced something beautiful, powerful and challenging. Lucky to have found a safe place to grow and learn, however long that was for.
Even though I am hurting now I can see how beautiful it was. This should make me mad. Should make me cry. But all it does right now in this moment is smile.
Smile at his cheekiness, his outlandishness and his loving caring side. I smile because I feel fortunate to have experienced all of them truthfully and unrestrained. These experiences help me even now and I know they will continue to. His lessons that guided and provided structure will stay with me always. Ooohhh the rules that i loved. The control that I craved. The acceptance that he gave. Just like my fond memories of him.
Life is hard and cruel but it also helps release you of your inhabitions and develop that little bit more. It is how you take these experiences and use them to yr benefit that counts.
Thank you for all the lovely words they are greatly appreciated and needed.
Much thoughtful love
Star
