Ice Girl's public thoughts.

Performer​(dom male) - I'm sorry you went through that.

IceGirl​(switch female) - It is hard to talk about. Who knows how my life would be different had it not happened. We are but the sum of our experiences tempered by our potential.

sir james ladies​(sub female){oh yes ple} - you can call me doc I wish to give you advice first see a councilor for your rape issues because you are filled with rage rightfully so. but you are coming from a point of anger and not love so unfortunately are a danger to any sub male that would have an interest in you you may even be a danger a female I do not know get to a councilor before you go any further down this road to deal with the trauma of your ordeals there are so many in ny so believe me you will find someone who fit's you. again I am sorry for what you have gone through but you will come through this much happier with yourself and any partner you find good luck and best wishes.

IceGirl​(switch female) - Since your coming from a place of sincerity I will treat you with more respect then I normally give.

I have the equivalent of a masters degree in psychology I know the techniques inside and out and had been to therapy before it is kinda useless on me in so far as why should I accept it.

Why shouldn't i be pissed off why shouldn't i if i see him again want to and gleefully beat him to shreds?

For many women this might be simple fantasy after the incident i trained harder then ever becoming semi pro mma i have kicked 250 pound guys so hard it knocked them off there feet.

So yeah you bet there is anger there every time i punch my heavy bag every time i do another push up everytime i get up early to train it is to be ready for the day i get to light a motherfucker up.

By the way its not like this doesn't have some advantages by the way for example once one of my friends were being touched in an inappropriately way and she was screaming to the guy to get off of her.

I was like hey chill bro. He was all what you gonna do about it shes my chick i do what what I want i asked her if its ok she said it wasnt but he refuses to respect her.

He picker her up tossed her over his shoulder and said i am gonna take you home and rape you bitch.

Wrong answer.
So i got in his face and i beat him till he eas bloody in a parking lot.

But its not like I just run around looking for people to hurt i got better shit to do with my time i am not Batman or some shit.

But if someone wants to use violence against me or someone i know i am ready more ready then anyone could ever imagine.

In short thanks for the concern but i dont need therapy i got punching bags.

Bunnie - I’m so sorry that happened to you :(

IceGirl​(switch female) - You more then most anyone here is why I wrote this. I am hard to understand sometimes because I dont fully communicate with people.

So when people see me at first they might be like this doesn't make sense it is because I am shy talking about myself especially my scars.

In a way I used to think strength was keeping quite of not talking of in many ways following the strong silent type guy model. Maybe that works for some guys but shit as a female with all the emotions and hormones that fluctuate at times making me moody it is just not practical.

So I have to find how to be strong in my way and I believe a part of that is to say yeah o been broken and bruised but I got it together and I am still standing.

I know that being more transparent about myself is new for me but to be honest I love who I am and am impressed at what i been though to get there.

I only hope that I find more people who feel the same way about me as I do.

Bunnie - This makes me so happy for you. What a beautiful gift to give yourself, and perhaps others who may have felt the same. Your level of introspection is pretty darn cool in my books :)

IceGirl​(switch female) - Hugs, I am very introspective thank you for noticing. There is a saying to know thy enemy is to know thy self. I have tried to search my soul for meaning and purpose.

The only downside I guess is I can sometimes come off as so intense people feel odd so many people are superficial.

One of my friends an amputate told me there stump was bleeding because of swelling. I was like were going to the hospital he is like well lets see. 18 minutes later he is in my car and were driving to a clinic so he can get his keg looked at even though he didn't want it he needed it and i wasn't about to let him ignore it even if i knew ny instance was going to bother him.

So since my style can get tiresome it feels awesome to have someone think I am cool.

Most people who meet me first personally just think of me as an over protective mothering nerd with an MMA complex.

Cello Master​(dom male) - I am so very sorry that this happened to you. What an awful thing. I was raped when I was 12 years old by a man that I thought was a friend. I never told anyone about it either

IceGirl​(switch female) - Hey cello, it takes guts to say that. I know your kind and I wish you hadn't been hurt that way.

I give myself a pass on the issues when I was a child sadly there were some. But that happened as an adult. I put myself into that situation I didnt see the danger as it was happening and after I didnt have the courage to do anything about it.

I dont blame myself I just wish I had done a lot differently. Maybe talking about this more openly will provide something.

Who knows. I will say this it has been nice getting to know you.

Greeneyesuk​(sub female) - Anyone who has gone through this kind of thing is left traumatised. I'm so sorry you had to go through that, what a bastard. Pathetic, weak, little rat. The fact he laced your food or drink instead of keeping s friend who said no to anything other than friends, well that shows what a low life & scum bag he is.

One thing to remember, I am not saying this lightly, I understand what you went through & the effect it will have on the rest of your life, but there are good Men out there, lots of them on here too. I'm not suggesting you sleep with anyone, just remember though, if you meet a Guy you like in the future, don't ruin something that could enrich your life because of what that tosser did to you. Don't sacrifice your own happiness because of the dreadful ordeal you went through. You may never have the urge or find a Man you are ever attracted to but just incase you do one day, talk about your feelings here & ask people what they think, ask for advice because it will mess with your head & falling for another Man will terrify you. So don't write Men off, there are genuine Men in the World with nothing but good intentions. It must have took an awful lot of bravery to write that but I'm glad you shared your story as you can see the absolute support you have here. You should be so proud of yourself for sharing something so traumatising, it shows that people care. 💖

IceGirl​(switch female) - I do wonder sometimes is my behavior what I want or lingering trauma I have yet to process. I am not sure it is an area of confusion or clarity.

I do agree not all men are rats but many of them all just recently my aunts boyfriend beat her and locked her up inside the apartment and we had to get cops and get him locked up.

I am not saying all women are 👼 believe me I know I dated some special kittens. But i never once felt the same level of violence and high stakes they come up with men. Not once have i ever felt the need to put my hands on a woman for self protection or to protect someone else.

Yet i had guys that tried to rape me, rob me, steal my car, harm my mother, harm my aunt, hell even my sorta boyfriend that i was trying to work it out with got so angry he pocked up a chair and tried to hit me with it.

Its like I am not saying all men are raging testicles waiting to go hulk and abuse. But i can only think of one female outside of my mother who ever got violent with me. So it is much easier to trust women.

I did kinda get a crush on a guy and i was so angry at myself for getting wet over dreams of being with him.

Very simply I solved it the avoidance way i basically told him how i felt and then got in his face how id rather be killed then be with him.

So yeah were still friends but he knows that i got way too many issues to have a remote chance of benefits going well.

So yeah the urge was terrifying and the solution was simple sink it. I am moved by the support to be honest i didnt know what to expect it is just personally one of my biggest issues with sex with both men and women this situation has impacted me in very clear ways yet i almost never talk about it.

How crazy is that one of the most transformative moments of my entier life and i never speak of it to anyone or even acknowledge it.

Clearly processing it is something that had to take place i am just sad it took me almost 11 years to come to grips with the fact it is ok to admit someone really hurt you so bad that mentally your still living with the wounds.

Something for him was a Tuesday still lingers in my life.

HGB​(sub female){Scottish M} - Knowledge does not fix what counseling does for someone. Therapists don't treat themselves. I highly recommend counseling.

IceGirl​(switch female) - Whats there to treat? I had traumatic experience made it so I have an adverse reaction to wanting to be pentrated.

Do i care to work in that? No

Is there any Amount of talking that is going to change my feelings on it? No

Do i want to take medication to change that? No

Do i want to be exposed to sexual situations with males to try and slowly get more comfortable with it? No

You act like just because someone is a professional they have a magic wand that can sort my shit out.

As stated I have two BA's with distinction and could have a masters if i so chose but it doesn't matter because I am applying to medical school to become a medical professional.

So I understand your concern and I am not saying it hasnt helped you but there is literally nothing for them to help me with or even a way to.

To be honest whenever i had sought a professional for other reasons in the past often it ends up me leactureing them because they didnt even keep up on the research and as such often have built in basis based on when they were " trained"

It is a waste of time and money for someone with just as much knowledge and no known goals they can help me with to go.

For example i am also an atheist would you also say pray on it? Because that helps you people are unique there is no one size fits all treatment and there are zero things i can get from therapy at the moment or else i would be doing it.

LadySusweca​(dom trans woman) - I'm just going to get straight to the point. I spent a lot of time angry over the way people treated me for being a transgender woman. It showed in everything that I did and said. Along with that I would wonder why I can't find a submissive. Several people pointed it out to me that what submissive would feel safe around someone with that much anger.
If one person says you are a duck you might think they are an idiot, if two people say you are a duck you may still think it's strange. If a third person says it then you should check yourself for feathers. If you feel like you know better than a counselor and people trying to be helpful then look at where you are right now and if you are happy about it. If you are wondering why you can't find a submissive you may want to look at what you are doing.
I would follow the advice of seeing a counselor. I don't think the women made that suggestion to hurt you, but to help you in any way possible. It is up to you, but take a look around and see if what you are doing is attracting people or scaring them away.