Ice Girl's public thoughts.

TreasureMe​(sub female){Belonging} - Ok so I know that you're expressing yourself, but there's so many red flags I'm seeing in your writing. This lifestyle, although beautiful and amazing, is meant to be a slow journey. Like anything else worth having, you can't rush things because it can be dangerous if entered into too soon. How can you trust someone if you don't know them? How can they trust you if they don't know you? You may find a sexual partner, but it'll more often than not, lead to disappointment since it's not actually what you're looking for. At least that's what I'm getting from what you've written. I know that this is totally unsolicited advice, but your focus should really be on yourself. You say that you're ready to explore being Dominated, but you really need to be capable of readiness to submit. And how can you do that when you don't even view yourself as valuable? It's not up to anyone else to validate that in you. It's fully up to you so it sounds like you have work to still do, which won't be found in the bed of a Dominant/wannabe.

IceGirl​(switch female) - First in terms of slow journey I'm not new to BDSM I been a sadist since 16 because if my rage from the abuse I suffered finding people who wanted me to hurt them and I wouldn't get in trouble for it but actually be praised at the time I was like sign me the fuck up.

That's almost 20 years ago so I am not new the lifestyle I am new to subbing and it's been me fighting that urge to be dommed that has kinda ruined me as of late for the last 5-7 years anytime I tried to dom someone I have gotten so unbelievably jealous of giving them the pleasure I want to receive and yet haven't yet.

So this has been a slow process for me to come to grips and finally accept this is a part of me as well and needs to be respected as such.

I don't trust anyone and doubt sub or not I'd ever fully trust someone but subbing has levels yeah for example when I had a nervous sub and i would cuff them often id have a key within reach ( always good to have extra keys) or a pocket knife for rope bondage I mean this also makes sense Maybe not with me but god forbid heart attack or something I feel subs should always if they want it have a way to escape even bondage.

As far as other things I mean my safe word was always Zamboni I mean its fucking silly as sin so it kills the mood for me who can mistakenly say it and it doesn't sound like anything else.

If someone respects safe words then they can take me till I cant handle it anymore and if i gotta tapp out a Dom would understand give me a break and reengage when I am ready.

How do I know I've done it myself! Dozens of times.

I want someone to fuck me with the intensity I have have given others is that so kuch to ask without someone judging me by whatever crap they project? Talk about kink shaming I thought that wasn't allowed in this site?

I never viewed myself as valuable no matter what dynamic I have been in sexual or otherwise. I have 3 degrees one of the most educated smarties around who gives a shit do they fill the void if my hallow emotional core.

By your argument only people who feel godo about themselves should ever have sexual gratification? Sorry to argue with you here but not everyone can or should be like you and hopefully you like I live in a free country where different people are allowed to be different.

I view sex as an act of pleasuring the body it isn't some magical spirit connection to another. Anatomically humans are designed with certain sensory capacity and if your not disabled with your nerves in someway you can derive pleasure from sexual activity.

So I want someone to take me drive me into the ground rip my clothes off and fuck me till I scream from the overcharged sensation. What's wring with that?

Because I didn't follow your sub code on protocols eff that I said in a previous blog more then sub or dom I'm an alpha and I know what I want.

This has been in many ways the biggest issue the fact that I might want to be topped/dommed sexually but thats where it ends for me I am a highly trained martial artist of over 25+ years and can rip most men up.

I don't need protection from the world or someone to own me i need someone who in the bedroom give me an experience that is at least close to what I have done for others.

Excuse me if wanting to be on the other side for a change has gone from a curiosity to a need after over a decade of doing it.

TreasureMe​(sub female){Belonging} - Ok Whoa. It's really amazing how much of what I said got misinterpreted to be malicious instead of spoken out of concern. Let me clarify...

First of all, I didn't assume how long you'd been in the lifestyle as a whole. I've read your blogs and your profile, so I know that you're not new to this. I also know your reasoning behind wanting to be Topped. It's not one I blame you for at all. But it's still a new venture for you and even those who have been in the lifestyle for decades, can experience frenzy.

Secondly, I wasn't projecting anything onto you about myself. I was simply suggesting putting the focus of your energy on yourself because you deserve it. Self care and self love is something I often suggest towards anyone here who is struggling with their self confidence and value. We all have this issue, for different reasons and in different seasons in our lives. It can be super helpful, as in sure you know after having been in the lifestyle for so long. You mentioned begging and pleading in your blog. If I misinterpreted your meaning to be a level of desperation, then I apologize. But we write things publicly and won't always be understood... clearly...see my comment above.

And lastly, I'm never the type to kink shame. Not that I have any idea how you came to that conclusion based on what I wrote, same as the need to be "godo" to orgasm or have sexual gratification in general. I just thought you wanted something real with someone you actually could trust. What you suggested in your reply, regarding just getting fucked by someone who's simply capable of honoring a safe word...sounds very different to how I took the words in your blog.

For every word I'd said that offended you, I apologize. Although unintentionally, it did and I feel badly about that. I wish you luck on your new journey into being Topped. I hope it will be all you desire.