Ice Girl's public thoughts.

lifeofdom​(dom male) - Disagree with your view: that it has to do with you being gay, or that even its empowerment on his side.
And..no, i am not homophobic i have gay friends that are part of my life.

IceGirl​(switch female) - Ummm we were best friends infact me and her were supposed to go on a vacation for her birthday together and that was the end of that.

I think he thought I wanted to f his gurl which is funny because even though bI top for BDSM I bottom for sex just don't feel comfortable trying to F a girl I think because I was sexually abused bthe thought of showing any aggression sexually just makes me shutter.

A funny example is I went to an interactive haunt that's extreme at pne point a female dressed as a demon started to molest me and ask me to touch her I pulled my hands back and with near tears in my eyes i was like I have a girlfriend and I don't carenif this is part of it I don't wanna touch someone I can't have genuine consent with.

Note if you weren't wrong in your comment you wouldn't have to hide behind your gay friends comments

Just own your homophobic and keep it moving maybe one day you will see how your bias has poisoned you but clearly today is not that day

KinkyBella{Nope} - Wow,why would you even say that to someone for having a different view? You call someone a homophonic because they have a different opinion then yours? That chip on your shoulder may be the issue.

Larsapan​(dom female) - Um, is this not her blog? Is this blog not centered around her life and relationships? Is she not a member of the LGBTQIA community who has described various ways in which she is made to feel less than by straight people on a regular basis?

Who are you to tell her how she reacts or responds to someone else's opinion about her experience is wrong? It is her experience. Is she not the expert in her own life when confronting homophobia?

Go defend someone worthy of defense, someone genuinely under fire. It's giving pick me. Additionally, the need he felt to bring up his gay friends is classic and reads dog whistle to me.

KinkyBella{Nope} - Yes ,it's her blog and with comment interaction that she choosed to have. . If you can't see it then you are part of the problem..He didn't say anything wrong and she called him homophobic. When people don't get there way just scream out and start name calling. Why can't he mention he has gay friends? What is so wrong with that? You're not homophobic are you? If people can't have a conversation then how will we ever learn and grow?. We'll be staying in the same place and what use is that?

Larsapan​(dom female) - Ma'am, he brought up homophobia right before he paraded out his gay friends who are 'part of his life' whatever that means as friends generally are in your life.

So he was anticipating having to defend his opinion. Now why would that be? Like you said he didn't say anything wrong or even anything coherent if we're going to actually dissect it. He gave zero reasoning for his opinion which leads me to wonder why? He felt strongly enough to leave it and set up a defense of it... so why not explain the reasoning, hmm.

Maybe because he's had previous interactions where his worldview about LGBT+ people has been recieved poorly and he's been called out on it. You have to have heard racists proclaim their black friends mean they can't be racist, same thing different bigot.

And no, I'm not homophobic but that has nothing to do with me questioning you on your need to defend, what exactly? Like I said he didn't give any reasoning so your defending his right to say random shit but she can't respond however she sees fit? And considering the dog whistle, I absolutely find her in the right to be offended.

simplylaura​(sub female){djinni} - I'm not a huge fan of homophonia. I much prefer polyphonia. But whatever gets your musical kicks off, I guess.

lifeofdom​(dom male) - If one says they have friends..they hiding..if one doesn't.. they're homophobic..i rest my case.
Part of the story gets told afterwards..so people make assumptions on what you say..
Feel free to think what you wish.
These are my 5 cents for the day.
Hope somehow you get past this, but it seems you valued this person's friendship .
And that is definitely a shame to loose.
I end my contribution here.

simplylaura​(sub female){djinni} - Aw rats. Your contribution was so enlightening and useful. Bummer.

balloonkotinsp - To immediately assume that it's the man's fault is troubling to me. That's an assumption. And even if it was, perhaps the two had a discussion about it and decided it best to not maintain that relationship. If he's uncomfortable with his wife hanging out with a lesbian woman, then so be it. It's no different than having your wife have a male friend who is heterosexual. Hell no. I'd never allow that. So stop with the man hating assumptions. We aren't shitbags. And that terminology is deeply offensive. So now, you've descended into the mud, where the shitbags live. Good job. Did you ever consider that maybe she just decided that she herself didn't want to continue the relationship? You do realize this happens all the time. But it couldn't be you, could it?

IceGirl​(switch female) - I know it's the guys fault because we still chat and interact on occasion but it has to be when her jailor is away doing something. You even show the same tendency here saying you would treat a lesbian the same as a man because your woman can't possibly make up her own decision on who she can and can't have intimacy with.

Look I get it most men have very little to offer women fiscal security and dick is about it for most guys and since my friend is a manager of a biomedical research laboratory she doesn't need money.

Also she has confirmed in our conversations that since he is 20 years older then her he doesn't perform like he used to and sometimes she has to take care of her own needs.

The difference is where she has great sympathy for him I am like uh why can't he use a strap on or toys or BDSM or get better at eating you out apparently she talked to him about ither options but he said he's a man she doesn't get it.

It's like dude you got a job pleasure your women and you let her down nightly and that then bleeds into you being insecure with hanging out with lesbians not fair that the little blue pull can't overcome your age and roid addiction.

I never said all men the fact that you hear any man is a shitbag and you opt into being offended shows which side of the shitbag divide you think your on.

My little half brother is so sweet and loving in part because he had a big sister teach him how to not be a shit caring considerate guys shouldn't be as rare as you think it is.

I want to also add her I have seen my girlfriend have sex with men infront of me before and was like get it girlfriend! Me I have zero interest men sexually are gross but she's bisexual and sometimes just wants to get railed and I don't offer her that why would I want her to forgo something that she enjoys that I can't provide?

It is because I offer her so much more than sex and being a provider we are together.

Emotional support, kindness, friendship, honesty, and shared goals that make us close and here's the rub if she wanted to leave one day I'd support that as well something's run there course.

You know 60% of marriages end in divorce you wanna know why because of the lack of mutual love and understanding.

Maybe one day you will grow to be more pro female empowerment I doubt it though since I can understand why you're so insecure with your hypothetical girlfriend or wife leaving you because I sure would. 🌺

Larsapan​(dom female) - Can we talk about how you'd, "never allow" your wife to have hetero male friends...I don't have to make an assumption you just said it and it's disturbing.
The fact that you don't respect your partner, trust and encourage your partner to be fully herself, sounds like shitbag behavior to me, and reflects very poorly on you.
Amd/Or are YOU not ASSUMING that any hetero guy she comes into contact with is a shitty person willing to take advantage of her, cause I'm sure that's your excuse. That's an assumption I feel fine making.
And all the assumptions you made, while chiding someone else who specifically didn't say all men, makes you a hypocrite too. Congrats.

Horror Business​(dom male) - I had similar thoughts when reading that. It's one thing if someone is actively making passes at your partner and not respecting their boundaries, but to tell them who they can hang out with based solely on their sexuality and/or gender is psycho shit.

If a friend is over the line, address that, by all means. But outside of a TPE situation or something, no one should be making decisions like that for their partner, and even if the dynamic has you making those decisions, you shouldn't be cutting off their support group just because they might potentially find your partner attractive. IMO

simplylaura​(sub female){djinni} - 100% this, Larsapan. Well said.

simplylaura​(sub female){djinni} - The way that you just spoke to IceGirl is entirely inappropriate. What makes you think it's ok? And to not "allow" your wife to hang out with lesbians? What an insecure tiny man. Scared they'll get her off in ways you never will? Sad.

Horror Business​(dom male) - Things have certainly gotten better in my community over the past 20-30 years, but there's always going to be vile reactions from bigots and "polite" bigotry from some more liberal folks who don't think they're saying anything problematic. I'm glad that the amount of outright violence against LGBTQ+ people has decreased, but the rhetoric isn't going anywhere until people can just accept that what other people do doesn't impact them and they need to mind their own business.

Kelpi - I agree with you on all that you said. Now let's go back 40 years and see what my best friend went through in his high school. He stayed in the closet because to come out ment he could be beat or killed by a bunch of asshole. He tried to be at least bi but it did not work as he is a bottom and just looking at a vagina made him sick. Seeing all the straight couple doing what he wanted and having relationships I understand why he is so bitter now.
You life is still not perfect but it is much better than what it was. You can go out and be with your partner in public without fear of stones being thrown at you. You can go places and hold hands even if it makes your partner uncomfortable. Let's face it you can live with each other now when at one time when it would have looked "funny" with out boys showing up at your doorstep.
I love my friend and I do not care how big of a flaming crossdressing flame he is. I was at his wedding and it was a great day in my life. HIs partner is someone I would fight for (and have with people who are no longer my friends).
It is not your fault that the world is in a twisted shit storm over all this. There are people out there who want the world to change now because they want it that way. I understand this but their minds are wrong and they will not see that life is not that easy or fair. You have guys that want to be female that tell the world "I am woman no matter what you think and you have to treat me as such". I can get behind that part of the way. The problem I have is when they want to walk into places that women like you should have privacy but they feel you shouldn't. Pushing the rights of others for their own agenda.
Please forgive me I tend to rant when it comes to this. For now be grateful you are loved and have someone to love. That is something so many of us do not have and yearn for.

Larsapan​(dom female) - You had me, until you went after transwomen. I don't know where you're from but as I understand it trans people make up maybe 1% of the population in America... when you are that much of a minority your rights are everybody's rights. To expand, when you respect the rights of the most downtrodden, abused, and hated individuals (because of their differences) you respect yourself and the rights everyone deserves.

Trans rights are women's rights. Period, their rights do not negate yours. No one trans is going into locker rooms or bathrooms trying to make you uncomfy. They just want to take a shit in the bathroom they feel most comfortable in or change amongst their peers without judgement or shame.

IceGirl​(switch female) - The fact that it's better didn't happen because if people sitting by letting it happen it was people demanding more from social cultural aspects.

Until equality exists the struggle will continue and not end.

Even though I am not trans and at times forget that some of my trans friends bodies are different from mine because I see trans women as women and trans men as men I will never treat them as less than.

You know like most women I have been abused in my life and you know who abused me similar to the people who posted here all shitty it was cis het guys who didn't respect or appreciate me not trans people.

If you actually took the time to meet and interact with trans people you would find out they are the most poorly treated minority in society and they need to be protected loved and supported. I know based on this conversation were having I'd feel way more comfortable with any trans person than you. 😊

IceGirl​(switch female) - The proof is in the reactions here! I mention an insecure man who's homophobic response has harmed me and I get gaslight important to work in some sexist oppressive garbage.

I am a feminist that's true but I also love men the ones who rise above the societal expectation of men being dicks I have the most respect for.

Men who can conduct themselves in an honorable way will always have my respect even if I don't want to have sex with men doesn't mean I hate men.

What I hate is the small insecure bullshit that causes so many men to not even be worth talking to.

What's obvious is the bad faith put forth on this post because those who were commenting then brought in random hate such as trans people which weren't even part of the topic.

While conjuring bigotry leave no stone unturned.

You wanna argue it's better yet look at how many were so enraged by a lesbian calling out a heterosexual mans weak pathetic behavior multiple times recently cause some to even her to resent me that's the point of the post.

My girlfriend worries when I kiss her in public that one day it could bite us in the butt hell one of our neighbors who knows when he was getting stuff out of his car struggled I went over and offered to help and he said some trashy I don't need help from the likes of you.

I was like geez what was his problem?

My girlfriend had to remind me that some people don't like someone who looks as queer as me.

I wanna rise above the bullshit I'm tired of accepting people hating on me because I love women.

I'm a human being and I have a right to exist and your disgust at a natural occurrence is your problem.

Besides we all know privately most "conservative" guys are really into lesbians creepy fucks. If not why is so many porn searching is based on lesbian converts or guy joins two girls.

Lesbians don't consent to being males fetish.

simplylaura​(sub female){djinni} - IceGirl, unfortunately homophobia is being allowed on the Cage at unprecedented levels. Don't engage with the incels on here who think it's women's fault that they can't get laid. I'm sorry you're the one their attentions are being turned to. They truly won't learn and more of the homophobes and transphobes on this site will come pouring into your comment section. You know your truth. And unbeknownst to the sad men on this post, you know their truth too.

IceGirl​(switch female) - I get that it's a business as well as a social platform. I appreciate they even let me call out homophobia.

The fact is I have been seeing it's rise everywhere I think this is a society wife tide. I mean the cage is CA so Canada based, I am from the USA look at the rise of Trump and MAGA, and perhaps the nation that has it worst right now the UK and it's take over by anti trans and anti queer conservatives.

I think this is a global backlash to the expansion of queer and women's rights but we cannot sit and be like ho hum while they take society back to before the 1960s.

The thing is the majority are with us and the way society has been progressing yet we have gotten complacent.

It does upset me a little that for example I was sexually harassed at my job for instance and it took me months of enduring it before I came forward because I was afraid of the backlash even when I told the employee hey I perfer women please stop with the complements and such they ended up only getting more mean and nasty towards me forcing my hand to go to management and risking everything.

I am not wealthy I am a student who works part time and am an orphan so if I can't pay for things I'm in a really bad spot I can't believe this is where.we are still at in 2024!

Kelpi - I have not told anyone this before and since I know it will stay here I can tell everyone here. My ex-wife is bi and has been her whole life. I told her she can have any woman she wants just so long as I was the only man. So after I found out that after I wen to work she went to the neighbors house and did the mom and the son (separately). It was over when I came home one day and she and him where watching my daughter play while holding each other. After I left her she made sure that any woman I had anything to do with ended up in her bed and hating me.
Now I won't date any woman who is bi or women who have bi or lesbian friends. Not that I hate them I just will not take that chance again. To be honest my ex has no idea where I am or what I am doing even my daughters are mad because I won't tell them anything other than I love you and I am still on a mud ball 3 stops from the sun. I don't date as much as use to but what the hell.

IceGirl​(switch female) - So because someone was a trash then you should treat all people negatively.

By that logic I had women that I wasn't open with when I was young cheat on me I had guys I tried to date when I was figuring it out cheat on me (granted I wouldn't let them penetrate me seemed disgusting hint even at a young age) but the fact is many people have had your exact experience and didn't handle it the way you have.

It is a sign of having issues processing and often requires therapy and investigations into the mental hurt and emotional damage to heal.

I know I have had mental health and wellness issues myself look at my blog I am not coming at you from on high but as someone else who was hurt understands it is hard to trust when you felt violated but that the key to healing is to not see one bad person as the inflection for an entire group of peoplem

I was date raped by a guy and I had a real problem with men for a long time after that but some of my best friends are guys and I just can't view my half brother or my best friend Larry ajd paint them with the same brush as a rapist.

I hope one day you can find healing it takes time and work but it's worth it. 💐

Horror Business​(dom male) - @Kelpi - being cheated on sucks.

I do find it odd that bisexuality is what you avoid when by your own description of the situation, you're ex was free to fuck whatever woman she wanted to, and it was another guy that was over the line. Seems like that's going to be a risk with anyone who's male-attracted?

Personally, my long term partners have been bi or pan for the most part and the only times I've been cheated on were when communication broke down or they started partying too much. People who aren't going to respect boundaries and are willing to lie instead of breaking things off come in all genders and sexualities.

By all means, do what makes you feel safe. Being cheated on feels absolutely awful when you're in love. I was just a bit curious as to how bisexuality and lesbian friends became your focus in what to avoid...

jackdaws - I am sorry to hear that this is happening, there is nothing worse that not being able to speak to friends because of someone else's insecurities. Worse still not to be able to live your life the way you choose due to this. Even worse to then insult you for those same insecurities.

My wife is Bi and Indian (as in from the country, not Native American), I am white and consider myself straight (mainly as I have never seen a guy I found attractive), and we are both polyamorous. We have had our fair share of abuse over the years, and it never gets easier to feel that someone hates you for a label, sometimes something someone else has labelled you with. I don't personally care who my wife speaks to, the only issue I have... is that I have to be there... not for any other reason than I am her full time carer... kind of essential that I am there, as she may need me at any point. But, if I could be sure she would be safe and cared for, I could care less who she speaks to as long as she is happy, it matters not to me at all... I trust her implicitly.

I also understand the need to vent (hell, I made a career of venting on a certain game streaming platform), and venting is often the only way to deal with it. Have you tried specifically speaking with the husband and getting his side of the story/explaining your concerns? Sometimes you have to build bridges, sometimes you have to burn them, there is a fine line between the two unfortunately... though it would be your friends choice obviously (I personally would never approach someone behind their partners backs on anything except for special occasion presents). It may be something that a discussion could fix... though obviously, only go through that if you felt safe to do so... there are some REAL asshats out there as you have unfortunately found out, and your safety must always come first.

Some people do not understand the pain that personal experience can bring, and how that can change your outlook on people, places, or events. I personally get very strong feelings towards certain situations based on sexual abuse I received growing up (from both men and women), so find it very difficult at times to separate those experiences from what is happening at a given time. Sometimes people find it hard to understand someone else's position or experiences as they have not experienced it themselves. While I was abused, I would never deign to think that this gives me any insight into your experiences, it only gives me an insight based on mine.

This will mean very little, but I am proud that you made it through this. I am sorry that it will not be the last time you have to make it through something like this, but I can hope that you get less and less of this crap as you continue to move forward.

I hope that you and your friend can work this out. We are in a similar situation with my wife's mother... she simply will never understand our life choices, so we have to hide who we are from her while maintaining a relationship. It is hard, but you do what you must for friends and family, and you do what you have to for yourself.

Good luck.

jackdaws - I must also state for the record, I am currently on pain meds, so may not have made any sense in the above post... I apologise if it comes across as anything other than intended... that is "I hope things improve, and I am sorry things worked out like this"

IceGirl​(switch female) - Nah I have no interest to talk to him I'm not the laid back type I'd hit hum where it hurts call him an insecure bitch because his roids use shriveled up his dick and he's trying to keep his unhappy wife with him that he never shoulda been with in the first place if he's that threatened by me of all people.

Hell if his wife wants to fuck me I wouldn't let her because she has made zero interest known and I don't trust people who flip out one day i am a demisexual things gotta build.

So no I don't think talking in this case is the answer since I despise him for what he's done.

jackdaws - Then I hope you manage to work something out with her, and you get to keep your friendship. If not, that is where the burning bridges comes in. I certainly hope that it is the former though, losing friends over something objectively trivial is really shitty sometimes. As I say, good luck, do what is right for you, and fuck what anyone else says... me included, I do what's right for me and mine, and would never expect anyone else to do any differently.

balloonkotinsp - It is you. Who'd have guessed

intenseoldman​(dom male) - Wow, what a thread!
I just want to say I agree.... that equality is a long way from where we are. I live in a town that's very open, liberal, and inclusive. I travel to beautiful rural places that every human being should enjoy but I know the vibe is not so inviting to all races, identities and sexual orientations. Look at a map and see how the world is segregated. What's disturbing is how much money has to say about who's accepted and who's pushed to the margins. (Has anyone besides me noticed the change in what we have for "leadership" since Citizens United vs FEC?)
You take a hard stand against bigotry, Ice. You don't let it hide. You call it out. That the bigots get to make the marginalized feel uncomfortable is not how life should be. The bigots should be the marginalized... they are where I come from.
But what I see anymore, is money gets to decide who's marginalized. Politicians, elections and judges are bought. We will never have equality until humanity is more powerful than money. You could chart the correlation of open bigotry and money since Citizens United. I mean we went from a president and a Supreme Court who legalized gay marriage, to a rapist, mysoginistic, xenophobic president who rigged the Supreme Court to overturn Roe V Wade.
You can fight with bigots and call them out, but until we take back the system that empowers them... drag queens will be demonized in Tennessee and their livlihoods will be taken away, doctors will be afraid to perform a standard D&C, ten year old incest/rape victims will be forced to carry pregnancies to term
Vote the racist homophonic bigots the fuck out. Fix the SC and overturn Citizens United... the world will be a better place. We won't have these shit political ads all their money buys parading across our eyes on YT every fifteen seconds, and women can have their bodies back.
Vote!
Your friend, Ice, I don't understand why she'd stay with that shriveled dick homophobe, but, Goddamn, she still has her power of choice to exercise. Sometimes we just need to exercise it.
Vote!

IceGirl​(switch female) - Believe me I believe in voting and am quite political this website and my blog her my political views are easy to infer but I don't think posts saying why the 2024 election in the us if of historical significance is fully proper you wanna make that post go for it.

Additionally I disagree totally during the civil rights movement and the start of the gay rights movement it was pissed off people banding together that forced society to back off.

Perhaps never coming from a marginalized community like mine you don't see that just because for a tiny bit of time the government seemed to listen that it was or ever could be an ally.

At my highschool there is a statue of an assocation who went down to the south during Jim Crow to tutor people of color how to pass the tests for voting.

He and others with him were ruthlessly set on fire and murdered for what he believed he was right he is a hero of mine.

You think people ever gave people like me an ounce of rights it was by our combined outrage the raw force of a people's will that brought change not the scraps political leadership ever allowed us.

I am intersex at the moment of my birth my family and doctors cut on me like a science fair project many intersex leaders and myself have argued why this shouldn't be done even the United Nations has gone on to say the practice is barbaric.

Would seem a no brainer but zero action you wanna know why because most people don't even know to give a damn.

You wanna make change you think it comes from the top I disagree it comes from the bottom.

I will still vote but I am gonna do what can to get people woke and aware.

https://talkofthesound.com/2014/11/20/new-rochelle-high-school-students-pay-homage-to-three-slain-civil-rights-workers-on-50th-anniversary-of-their-death/

intenseoldman​(dom male) - Yeah, I didn't mean at all to dismiss people being pissed off and taking a militant stance for what's right and forcing issues. It is, as you say, what forces society to back off.

I am not from the town I live in now so I know what marginalized socities are like, not in the way you do though. I am painfully aware of priviledge and must put myself in others shoes to understand just how fucked it is if you're different. And you're right, laws might change but people in those places don't. I had hope in the tiny bit of time you speak of, though.

So, yeah, probably what I'm saying is more proper in it's own space. Just I hate homophobes, too, and entitled assholes.. and I respect you a lot for sharing your experience as openly as you do. I learn.