For this first blog I am going to take the assumption that the audience is a new submissive who has no experience or knowledge of the TPE (Total Power Exchange) dynamic of D/s (Domination/submission) relationship. (Others may read along as well.) The flavor you choose, weather it be Age play, BDSM or some other variation is really arbitrary and has little impact on the basics of what a Dominant should and should not be.
It is a proverb of BDSM "To be capable of Dominating any submissive one must Dominate self, first." This means to me that as a Dominant I must be in control of my actions and subsequently my words regardless of my emotions or desires. I can not let anger, frustration or any other emotional impetus drive my actions. The things I say or do must be driven by reason and rationally. My words will have meaning and purpose while my actions have intent and direction. Nothing I do is because it what I want to do or because it pleases me.
This leads to the position of the submissive. While your Dom is driven by objective benefit of the submissive and the relationship, your goal is to seek His/Her pleasures to find the ways in which He/She can/will be pleased.
It is in this dynamic that the relationship is both symbiotic and achieves balance. Most who view this dynamic externally perceive only imbalance. Those who experience it correctly know the truth of balance.
In conclusion, if your perspective Dom exhibits self centered perceptions or blames others for failures then you might wish to keep looking. Just because they posses an Alpha personality doesn't make them a capable Dominant.
