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A Dom for subs

It is the intention of this blog to present a guide for new or even experienced submissives on what to expect or should be expected from a perspective Dominant. Keep in mind not all Doms or subs are created the same, some variance may apply. I do this because of all of the horrid experiences I have read about or even heard about throughout my time as a Dom.
4 years ago. September 12, 2020 at 1:52 AM

The symbology of the collar is quite simple but is often confused or misrepresented as a means to impose one's will onto another. I have witnessed and have heard reports of this since the earliest days of learning about BDSM. Unscrupulous people who make themselves out to be Dominant have used and contributed to the perversion of the collar's symbology. 

 

Their are only two rules which govern the collar.

1.) Only a Dominant can place a collar.

2.) Only the submissive who wares the collar may remove it.

At no time is the submissive bound by the collar in such a way that it is in opposition of her will. Their can exist no scenario in which the submissive is prevented from removing the collar.

The only reason the collar exist at all is to symbolize her submission to her Master. The submissive, at all times the collar is worn, is choosing to serve.

A Dom maybe upset by his sub for removing her collar, but this is because she by action is demonstrating her lack of trust. In my view if this occurs it is likely the Dom's fault, because he should have an understanding of her limits.

Having said that I must admit that I have pushed a girl or two into removing her collar. I did this as a teaching moment, to demonstrate to her how she was holding onto concepts or ideas which affected her decisions on a subconscious level.

One of the most difficult task for any Dominant is to lead a submissive down a path of difficulty and pain only to demonstrate that all of the pain and difficulty was purely self imposed. 

The reality is that the collar can not, while used correctly, be used as a tool of abuse. However a good Dom, if he's cleaver and quick can use it as a tool of growth and benefit for the submissive.

A Dominant only exist while there is a girl who calls him Master.

J.M.Rott(Dom)

slaveMikayla​(sub female){MstrJ } - This is one interpretation, yes.
There are many schools of thought on collars. The collar You are describing is a " training collar" you might care to address collars of consideration and permanence differently... friendly suggestion.
4 years ago
slaveMikayla​(sub female){MstrJ } - And welcome to Cage!
4 years ago
Morley​(sub female){Max Sterne} - It may be that's it's been a LONG week and I am at "turn of brain mode" however, that is unlikely, so I have to say how very much I disagree with this post. I actually went to look at your profile and was shocked at your age. I am not putting you down or insulting you, this is merely my opinion, as is your blog.

MY idea of a collar and it's symbolism is GRAND and supercedes all I that the submissive (male or female) wear that collar NOT JUST for "serving"... It is a symbol of ownership... much more sacred than a wedding ring. It is NOT to be removed by the submissive on a whim or when "pushed" that is ONLY a PLAY collar!!!

There are MANY collars....

Play
Training
Consideration
Ownership
And the BIGGEST and MOST powerful.... The invisible collar!

That is MY opinion of collar/collars and how they work!
4 years ago
slaveMikayla​(sub female){MstrJ } - ^ what she said. I was trying to be diplomatic for once :p but Karyn has it nailed.
4 years ago
Morley​(sub female){Max Sterne} - You're too kind... I toned my down a couple times lol! 😝
4 years ago
Satindragon{Not Lookin} - There are those of us who take the meaning of a collar more seriously than others. I have personally removed my own collar over lies and broken trust.

A collar is much more than a material object. A collar is the bond that is built between a Dominant and his submissive. Breaking that bond is not something that is done in hast.



4 years ago
Curlyniccia{Protected} - Your description of the collar is too broad and does not take into consideration the many other collars that exist.
I feel that you somewhat played down the symbolism of the collar and downplayed its importance to both the Dom and the sub.
It is not something that ties a sub to their Dominant in order to serve.
But instead it carries huge significance between the sub and their Dominant within their dynamic.
Never underestimate the collar and its importance to both involved for by doing that you are reducing their dynsmic to a play setting.
As said there are many collars.
For me the most important one is the invisible one.
For that is created in the very foundations of any dynamic and holds an importance beyond that of any other.
4 years ago
Redmage​(dom male) - It is obvious from this feed back some of you feel that I failed to include the deeper nuances which can develop in a long lasting D/s relationship. You would be correct. If this blog posting were an exhaustive commentary on the symbology of the collar and it's incarnations, I might have been a bit more inclusive.

The intent of this blog is to help protect new, uninformed submissives from the disreputable pretend Doms I know that you are all aware of. I believe I even opened with allusion to what its intention is. Additionally I avoided the more advanced collars because they are developed between the Dom and the sub on a case by case basis. It would be an impossibility to explore, let alone document, all of the aspects of such a diverse symbology.

I love how much compassion and value you each have for your own collars. That is only a reflection of how good and caring each of your Doms have been. I invite you to write about your collars and how they were bestowed with their importance and meaning, and inbox me your work. I will of course require permission of your Doms.

I would like to reflect on your words in a blog post later on. Its not often enough that we Doms see through the impassioned eyes of submission.

Thank you all for your responses (harsh or not). I always love criticism. (it didn't really hurt that much)
4 years ago
slaveMikayla​(sub female){MstrJ } - Thank you for acknowledging. Actually all four of us who have posted have extensive blogs of our own in which we have, at one point in time or another, discussed this and many many many other concepts through the years. I will see if I have time to dig my own up and will post it here, in link form later in the day.
4 years ago
Redmage​(dom male) - I am always happy to learn.
4 years ago
slaveMikayla​(sub female){MstrJ } - https://thecage.co/blog/userblog.php?blog_id=60944 I hope this sheds some light on my own personal feelings.
4 years ago
Curlyniccia{Protected} - Thank you for taking the time to reply, not many would and would see what we say as a direct attack, which knowing these ladies was never the intention. So thank you for handling it as you did x
4 years ago

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