30. When do you feel the most submissive?
i ask myself this question a lot, more so the why I feel submissive. I realized after a conversation with a Dom here that because of the control I have in the rest of my life being a mother and wife that the only time I feel free to not dominate is when it comes to my sexuality. I want to give up the careful control I’ve cultivated through the routine of my daily life. My husband has no interest in exploring a lifestyle that is out of the norm, I have wondered if I’m more of a switch then a submissive for the mere fact that I feel like when he doesn’t give me what I need I tend to take over control and dominate in that moment. I egg him on to get what I want, the more research I have been doing into this lifestyle and the dynamics I have come to realize that this isn’t a safe practice for me to instigate in my marriage because in the areas that I feel my need fulfilled if not done correctly it could be dangerous. Mentally and emotionally dangerous if not done with the upmost care and understanding.
I feel the most submissive when I allow my control to slip and let my vulnerability out. But parts of me war against the submission, l want to cop an attitude, I want to say no to get a rise, I want to say make me because the flare of recognition that I am telling you what I need in those two words will get me what I want. If I’ve researched this correctly at all..... it’s called being a brat submissive I believe.
Exploring my sexuality, different lifestyles and various kinks has definitely been enlightening.
