Today during my journey of enlightenment. I started thinking about gender assignments and what is generally regarded as their role, I have done this a few times, so I started to dig through information on it once again, to see if I could get any closer to really decide what I want to be referred to as when it comes to gender pronouns, I am still leaning more towards just referring to me by my name across the board, in lieu of, him, her, they, etc.
I know I was born a male, and I know what is expected of me in that regards. Yet, there is something else there, and a lot of it is not considered manly. I like to feel silk and lace on my skin, to my recollection, I started this around 11, when my sister and her friend would dress me up when we had to stay home on the weekend, I began to enjoy the feel. I also let my sister and her friend practice putting makeup on me, and never really saw it as abnormal or wrong, though I would not walk in public with any on, because that does not seem to be general consensus, today, I would because I do not care what others think about it, so that makes me girly in the eyes of many. Yet, I know I that is just a part of it, I still enjoy many things that is considered masculine, even though in truth females can, do and enjoy them as well.
Between this and liking to have sex with both males and females, I had no real understanding of what I was, because many times I really wanted to just act like a girl. After reading the information I found on gender identification and roles. I have a clearer understanding and think that I can safely say, I really do not care about what roles are for which gender, and as I understand it, that is more along the line of being Genderqueer. The definition of genderqueer according to the Webster dictionary is; of, relating to, or being a person whose gender identity cannot be categorized as solely male or female. This nails me pretty much perfectly. So from now on (Ok, I may have to practice before I do it all the time), I will refer to myself as genderqueer.
Can this cause problems? Probably, not only within the BDSM community, but in the great wide world as well. In the BDSM community, maybe not cause trouble, but close doors for me, as I am sure that there are some dominants that would rather a submissive that holds to the roles of one or the other. The great wide though, they can suck it as far as I am concerned. This is my decision, and it was made after months of research, reflection, and arguing with myself.
