We have only just met and we have formed a great friendship. I have said that given time to heal I will tell you the words you want to hear. I asked for time because I will not lie to you and when I say it I want it to be as clear as a Rocky Mountain water fall as honest as a Texans hand shake and as true as Gods own words. My phone rings and I know who is calling with out looking. I stop every once in a while and know your thing of me.
I asked for time because we have both been hurt and I will do hurt you as you have been. I will not lie about my past my future or my present. You know me and you know the dog I was and still am. This old dog still sniffs around and barks but he don't chase any more. I am not sure if it because he has gotten to old to tired or just found something to stick around the house for. Only time will tell.
You have told me you fantasies your bucket list and your dreams I have told you how I would love to help you scratch off all three list and then add some more. Now let me tell you mine I want to snuggle on cold night I want to sit on the porch on cool evenings and just swing with you and me wrapped in a blanket watching the stars. I want to have a place where the grandkids can come and feel love and peace when the get out the car. I want a fire place to warm our bones in front of most of all I want you in my life till it ends.
I want to make love to you under the water fall I want to snuggle with you under the stars. I want to do everything on your fantasies list then do them over again. I want to show you the great state I was born to and show you why so many gave their lives for it to become a country and a state. Someday if God so wills it I want to kneel in the Alamo and give my respect to those who gave me the privilege to become a Texan a American a dad and maybe something more than just a friend and lover.
I do not know what the future holds. I do not know if I will be here past tomorrow but I do know I will leave one day knowing I was granted the chance to know you. I have never been a good man nor a totally bad one. It is a believe that was taught to me that if we do enough good and protect those call for us that if the scales balance out when our name is called to take our place as guardians of the gates. When I am asked why I should be given this honor I will be able to say "you never asked if I wanted kids you gave them to me and I took them as my own and loved them as my own. When you sent me to help those who fought for our freedoms I never asked how I just started to make plans on how to do it. When in my darkest hour you sent her to me as a friend and I never looked back or asked for more. When I asked her for time she gave it to me. On the day she gave me steel I took the knee and made the oath to her and I have never looked back. You tell me it is an honor to guard those gates I tell you it is not an honor but my right to do so to repay all the people and things He has given me in my life. I tell you that should every thing in heaven and hell be started three times over it still would not be enough if all I did was guard those gates of fire for having known her in the time you gave me. It would not be enough to repay You for for her and what she gave me".
All I ask for is time to heal and on the day I take steel I will take the knee and pledge my heart to the last woman I will ever be with. After that day I will work to bring you only joy and happiness into your life. Until that day I will not say to you the words you want so badly to hear because when they are finally said they will be coming from a healthy heart full of joy and happiness. When you finally hear the words you will know they are true and that I am yours and your alone. Until that day know you are my friend and if you call I will come and I will bring bring a fury with me that will amaze God and scare the devil.