Its funny - that as i was training one person / newly submissive - in the nuances of the lifestyle.
she stated that her girlfriend - stared to give her doubts - instead of asking me directly.
Look they say that if you have ONE TRUE friend you are FORTUNATE ...and not everyone has a large group of friends, some only have very few whom they are close with or maybe just one. In reality, that’s all you need in my opinion. The larger your “close” social circle is, the more nonsense you’re signing up to deal with. This doesn’t mean you can’t have many good friends in different social circles even in DS' ones that have nothing to do with each other. But typically gossip and picking favorites can occur.
But when you start speaking with or even opening up to someone, it is very important to remember that your friends have absolutely no place in that intimate friendship and or relationship. Most likely, that friend didn’t initiate contact with that man/Dom/master; they were under the impression that you were an individual and would be dealing with your feelings and your feelings alone.
Look to me as a Man( my thoughts here)a friendship and a relationship are two separate entities and they should be handled that way. I as a man would NOT want to blur these lines. It’s a tricky situation to get out of and pick up where you left off. There’s nothing wrong with talking your feelings out with your closest friends but that’s where it should end.
Your friend shouldn’t be dictating to you how you should be acting in your relationship or making any decisions for you. People shouldn’t be looking for their friends to do that for either. Needless to say, I should NOT be trying to dictate anyone’s relationship either....even on here!
Sure, they’re coming from a good place with the right intentions, but we’re determined to learn for ourselves...You’re focused on making that friendship work and you’re giving that the time and energy it needs.
Once they move past that initial few weeks of casually phoning and texting each other incessantly, they start to attribute more time in their schedule for that person...and that includes a person like me ( YES even as a DOM) becoming more vulnerable to open up to my quirks/idiosyncrasies and mannerisms..so on.
If that friendship/training continues to go well, more time transitions into a lot more time until it becomes a need not just a desire or want - but there is a exclusivity there to be nurtured.
Not to be ALL negative here - The best thing that a friend( weather she is a sub herself - OR Domme) they can do is be supportive. As one myself i try to listen, be attentive and offer advice when it is asked of me. I am not one or the type of person to give ultimatums, and don’t expect your friend to always choose your side. It isn’t because they favor their friend/ Dom/ submissive more; it could solely be the fact that you gave them an ultimatum. If you were a so-called best friend, you would never plant the seed of DOUBT and make the person you were starting to be open choose to give in to the Drama or just cut it out.
As i have trained subs who I thought equally had my best intentions in mind or either
Ghosted me
brought up doubt or jealousy ( based on their own insecurities)
had a 12 set of Louis Vuitton luggage of drama
in all
I have felt sorry yet confident that i cut it out from the infancy.
to keep my integrity ... intact.
in this era of social ( really non - social) media - where we choose to email/text and lose
the actual art of conversation - Your choice in friends shouldn’t be decided by anyone but you. We can all be blinded by love, lust or maybe just a fabulous sexual relationship with a dominant man.
Do your friends know every little secret about your Dom or Submissive? You may like those discussions you have with your friends about partners, encounters and how you were either topped or bottomed . But if your partner gets to know about it, they may get rather annoyed.
Most of the time, your partner may not like it when you share your relationship’s intimate details with your friends. To ensure that your friends aren’t affecting your newly blossomed relationship, avoid talking about intricate details with your friends, especially when it comes to your partner/Dom/sub/mistress and their most intimate thoughts.
There i have vented .
I am open for any commentary ...
My search begins anew.
