Disclaimer: This was originally written on Fetlife in 2013
A few moments ago, a friend of mine had commented on something that had me curious. This is the link to the article here on Fetlife: https://fetlife.com/groups/35778/group_posts/429944…
As children, many of us are taught to help each other when we can, as often as we can, sometimes to the detriment of our safety. In recent years, however, there has been a growing trend of only helping others when there is only something to gain, or when there is no detrimental reason to help.
After reading some of the comments, many of which gave me hope (including the OP) for humanity, there are still others that disturb me. When I say that they disturb me, what I mean is that it shakes any solidarity in my beliefs that chivalry still exists.
I am much like the OP in the linked article, with a mother of similar nature. My grandfather, before he passed away from Alzheimer's Disease, was a rather pleasant person. I heard stories of his charitable nature from those who knew him before his passing, about all the ways he had helped people. It is a trait that I hold high value for, as it seems to be as rare as common sense, if not more so.
As adults, we have come to learn that the world does not owe us a living, nor are we inclined or obligated to help others that we do not know, let alone the people that we do know. We are not entitled to hope, love, kindness, being cared for, or our individual beliefs. Nor are we entitled to the exact opposite of the above list. We will sometimes receive more than what we deserve, or receive less than what we give - which follows both sides of this coin. Some people far more love than they could possibly want to give, and others will receive much more bile and hate than they could have possibly earned - many times through the anonymity of the internet or in person.
The comments I am referring to come from those, who for one reason or another, feel that because of making a few bad mistakes, for loving someone for reasons unknown to us, and have become accustomed to such negative and scarring behavior from their significant others, that they deserve to be abandoned. That if someone becomes violent and hurts them, that they do not deserve help, and yet these people would be, and are often, the first people to scream for help and receive it.
Our definitions of right and wrong are at best, subjective, since we all possess a different moral compass. We offer different levels of empathy and compassion, as well as neglect and loathing. In my personal opinion, I believe the OP did the right thing. I also feel, that while he held value for his room mate's life, he may have valued his life as less than hers, in the eyes of his mother. I can not speculate on the reason his mother would have felt the way she did, as I do not know her at all.
Considering the woman he saved was also his room mate, there really is no logical reason to assume that this person is some random woman. He knew her, and was quite possibly a close friend. Would you really let your room mate be killed by a spurned or violent ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend if you had the power and means to prevent it? I certainly wouldn't.
I feel that my faith in humanity has been restored, and faith in my personal beliefs restored as well, many of which are shared by the linked OP. Chivalry only dies because we let it die.