I stirred awake, your warm breath on the back of my neck, causing the little hairs to tickle. Wiggling back against you just a little, I smile wide knowing how my little tease will be enough to get you going. Your arms tight around me, holding me safe and sound. I hear your soft growl in my ear. And that makes me shiver, all of me loving being in your presence. But then I hear it....a sound that makes me shiver completely differently. It starts soft, only to turn into a guttural wail. I sit straight up, covered with sweat and tears. The wail was my own, waking me from my bittersweet dreams. My one place I have left with you.
It's been one week today. One soul crushing, heart breaking, mind numbing week. I knew something was wrong when 7am came and went without a "Good morning Princess." But I knew how tired you had been, thought maybe you had overslept, then late for work. Then noon went by. At this time that feeling in the pit of my stomach was stronger, my mind screaming something isn't right. As always I tried to convince myself otherwise, came up with more reasons. I left work to come home and wrangle kids. Those hours I was itching...needing to call you. Needing to know what the hell was going on, as my tears of worry and fear became stronger. Once I was able I called, no answer. Then a ring from a number I didn't know but was your state. My heart somehow sank lower, my mind already racing.
You left this world that morning. It came fast, I was told you weren't in pain. My soul knew it was true the moment I heard it, it had already been calling for yours. My heart broken by all we lost. Our forever. We worked so hard to be together, but life I guess has other plans. That makes me so angry I can't see straight. You were my everything, that love that people wish for, long for. I was made for you. I don't know how to go on from here...nor do I want to. Your voice echoing in my head all day, me clinging to it like a lifeline.
I will always love you Sir. With all of me. I know I told you no matter what I wanted you in my Heaven... so please make my place at your feet waiting for me. You weren't just my Dom, but my lover, my friend, and a part of my soul. I will always be your Princess.
