Poems and more from the Heart, Soul, Mind and Spirit

Anastasia walked in noticing the stranger again.  His ocean blue eyes following every tantalizing move she made.  Damn, he thought, She would look sexy and helpless suspended from  the ceiling of my office.  Without a word, he motions her to follow him to the loading dock. Anastasia bites her lip, gave a wink and obeyed.

MMMMM his ass looks fucking amazing in those black work pants. Can't wait to bite and play with that ass she mumbled to herself. He turns around with a smile on his face. Thank you, you might get that ass play if you're a good girl. I'll show you a good girl she thought.  This is going to be so much fun, they both thought to themselves.

She looks around and sees nothing but boxes and crates waiting to be loaded nearby. When she returns her focus to the stranger, he vanished. She shouts hello!?  I'm here, he said with an irish accent.  She froze with fear not knowing if it was him, also becoming wet with excitement.

As she turns around he lifts up her skirt, pulls her closer to him and begins to caress her beautiful round ass.  I've been waiting for this moment for a very long time, he whispered into her ear. His hand moves towards her wet, throbbing pussy.  She closes her eyes and enjoys the feel of his fingers inside. You should have a taste, she said. So should you the stranger replied.  He puts his fingers in her mouth. I taste good as she smiled

She wanted to take control, but she couldn't.  Something about not being in control felt so peaceful to her. She was tired of being the strong one, the one always in control. Suddenly, she surrendered to him. I surrender my entire being to you, she said. The words that I've been waiting to hear. I'm going to cum she gasped. He turns her around, bends her over and ram his 10 inch rock hard cock into her ass.  FUCK!!!!! TAKE MY ASS!!!! IT'S YOURS!!!!

IT WAS ALWAYS MINE!!! the stranger said with a gruff tone in his voice. She dared not asked how.  YOU BELONG TO ME AND NO ONE ELSE! DO YOU UNDERSTAND!?  he asked while his hand is on her throat. y yes!! I I understand, she muttered.  He pounds her ass until she can no longer stand. On your knees!!!!! I'm not done making you totally mine. She obeys without hesitating, the ass fucking continues until.......

I know who I am, and I know what I want in my life. Someone once told me "if you want something bad enough you'll go for it." I followed that advice and got severely hurt. . I'll continue to follow the same advice with a different perspective and my mind focused on something different. I've lost alot along the way and I refuse to continue this losing streak for the rest of my life.  Life is too short and tomorrow isn't promised to anyone  ???????

I wasn't able.to enjoy the joyful moments yesterday. Now I am. First, my daughter E gave me a hummingbird necklace attached to an affirmation card.

I took the time to look up the spiritual meaning.  There is alot, I need.to do lol Second my daughter L has great news but i have to keep it hush hush, not even my ex knows ?‍♀️

Today, i said fuck the bra and thong and wore my fave dress.without either one. Yay!!! It felt so good?????. Now to let go of what no longer serves a positive purpose in my life. I'm tired.of grieving, dealing with abandonment and guilt. Im tired.of.others projecting their shit onto me.  I know I'll be starting at square one again. At least this time I know what I have to.do. 

After hearing my son's rant this morning and until 12:30-1:00. I realized his priorities were misplaced and so were mine. 

I spent alot of time making room for others in my life when I don't get the same in return.  As far as I can remember, that's what I did. No matter who it was or what the reason was, you call I'm there. 

I need to limit myself and my energy to others who don't deserve it. And do more for myself and tend to my needs on all aspects.  I  don't have anything left in the gas tank to keep moving forward.

So now I'm at a standstill, wondering what the fuck is my next step and how to go about it without hurting anyone's feelings ?. 

After hearing a mouthful from my son, I went back into Suzy homemaker mode. I cleaned the ceramic tile in z's bathroom with a scrub brush and cleanser. I haven't done that shit since '95-96 in my second home. On top of that, I thought about going back to my ex, WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING????!!!!??? I need my damn head examined. I know he's being a big help with z but damn, is my life that bad to even consider that shit!!!!??????  He doesn't understand who I am or would even do what I like. Yeah, I must be mf insane.

Full force and Samantha foxx  ? enough said

I'm finally embracing all of me. I love who I am and who I'm continuing to be.  I have been poly for so long, I don't remember when it began.  I have so much love for others that I need to share it with more than one person, hell more than two people.  I also have to remember to have most of that love for myself.  When I approached my ex that I wanted a girlfriend, he was against it. He felt that I would be cheating on him (like he should talk).  For awhile I had put that idea aside. I didn't realize that he was preventing me from being my true authentic self in so many ways.  In 2013-2014, I said fuck it, enough is enough, put an ad on craigslist and the hunt began.. After awhile someone did answer my ad and we began to chat not only through email, but also in person.  She's the most amazing person I have met, she is such a beautiful person inside and out.  She became family, we might not have everything in common, it makes the relationship between us special. We support each other til this day, we may not see each other all the time, but when we do it's special and we have a good time. When she's having a bad day at work, she knows she can call me and vent, I'll listen no matter how long she vents and what the reason behind her vent. She feels bad when she isn't able to spend the time she likes with me.  I tell her that's ok, schedules are hectic and she does have a life outside of me.  Her dream is to build a home on her father's property big enough for my family and her and her hubby (not included in this relationship).  Being neighbors would be the best thing ever (naughty, naughty, naughty thoughts) I would like the other person to be part of this as well,(who knows the change could be good)

Physically, I have embraced myself as well. I never thought of myself as a beautiful or sexy person. She has shown me that I am beautiful and sexy (especially my ass lol) You know what, she's right, if she accepts my small plump tits, big ass, fupa, thick thighs, I can do the same.  I need to stop hiding (covering) my body so much.  Find a nice mini skirt ( i really miss wearing those) there go the naughty, naughty, naughty thoughts again lol.  I remember wearing a black and white checkered mini skirt and getting fucked while i was looking (hanging) out of the window. Watching people walking by and not knowing what's really going on. YEAH!!! I miss the thrill of getting laid in the oddest places, with people walking by, cars driving by and not knowing what's going on (or do they)? I wanted to tell her so bad to pull over so i can play with/suck on her tits. ugh I have being deprived lol 

Oh yeah where was I? Oh embracing my authentic self, I'm also a loyal/faithful/giving person, which is also something I needed to embrace more. When I realized that these qualities will cause others to take advantage of me(and they have), I shut down big time, rebuilt that wall I allowed to be taken down.  I shouldn't be afraid to say no, to say that something is not working for me. To walk away without feeling any guilt no matter who much love I have for a person. For me to embrace my spiritual gifts no matter what I was told during my upbringing and by extreme religious people and relatives.  For now, I will end this blog here.  I'm going to enjoy this beautiful day, who knows, my hunter instincts might kick in and mama will have a new addition to the family ;)