I’m struggling with this one, to find the words to explain the feeling. A weekend of sharing my home, and myself, with another person - no, not like that lol. Yes, I’m fun, bubbly, (sarcastic) and outgoing, so the company should have thrilled me - and it so did, to a point. But there are times I just love to be alone... I enjoy people, but I just prefer them in my terms!
I’m a planner, you see; I love organisation and order. Structure and routine make me smile. I’m the one that turns up half an hour early in case I get a puncture on the way. So having to share my entire weekend with someone - well, it was tough.
I’m sitting here with my warm hug (coffee for anyone who hasn’t read my other posts lol), contemplating the weekend and all the little things that got under my skin. I’ve come to the realisation that there is one in particular that really grates on me: Why do people wait until the last moment?
Im a dreamer, a soppy ridiculous romantic that finds joy in the little things. So when I know I’m an hour early going somewhere, I can stop when I see a tiny baby rabbit and watch his little perfect nose twitch on the side of the road, admire the pristine white of a baby lamb wobbling his way along on gangly legs he hasn’t quite figured out yet, see a wave rolling into the bay towards the rocks that I just know is gonna be a big one and wait for it to build and release the pressure that’s been accumulating all the way in; essentially, I can stop and smell the roses....! Now if you wait until the last moment, not alone do you not have time to pause for these things, you probably won’t even see them at all?
So I’ve spent a weekend hiding essentially. Not alone has my gorgeous teen been waiting for the last moment to get ready to leave, but so has my guest. I’ve struggled with this. I’ve also struggled with “things” being left absolutely everywhere... If it was just the teen’s things, I can easily put them away! But no, a house guest deserves the patience I afforded her. All order in my life went out the window this weekend, and I couldn’t embrace it...
All is not lost, technically there was nowhere I needed to be really, but it pushed me out of my comfort zone massively. Dinner was late (and not what I wanted to cook), animals weren’t fed on time (anyone with horses knows I’m gonna pay for that later), cleaning was haphazard, ironing non-existent. I know you’re all waiting for that moment where I say it doesn’t matter and what I’ve learned from it. I’m sorry to disappoint, but it’s not coming.
Instead I’m going to give you a photo that I think will explain why I am the way I am, what I believe should be “the last moment”, why I prepare in earnest and plan ahead and leave so early. Because if I don’t make time in advance, I would’ve had to just keep driving.
