I wake up in a daze, and greet the day. Get ready for school. It’s a beautiful spring day, and finals are around the corner. Maybe now I’ll finally get the nerve to ask Melissa to prom.
But in a brief moment of clarity, I realize Melissa is long gone. Of course.
I sit at the desk. The classroom is deserted. Has been for some time, in fact. But I sit through the lesson, as the teacher drones on, and I count out the moments until the final bell. The teacher explains something, yet it is eerily silent.
The final bell rings. I walk through the empty halls. There is nobody to give me a ride home. The parking lot is empty. How long has it been since I last walked through these doors, for the last time? It’s been a long, long time, I realize. The world has moved on. I guess I’ll drive myself home.
Get home and study. Do homework, eat dinner. It’s a nice evening; let’s see who’s out and about. I walk through the neighborhood, thinking of the kids playing pick-up flag football and ultimate Frisbee in the streets. Maybe I’ll head down to the grocery store at the strip mall, or the quickie mart, in the hopes she’ll be there with her friends. Sometimes she’s there at the Starbucks. If so, maybe I’ll say hi. But wait, I don’t want to be too creepy or too obvious. I wonder if she even wants to go to the prom at all.
The neighborhood is empty. The kids have grown up and moved away long ago. Even their families are gone. Empty houses stare back at me. I get to the Safeway parking lot, and the lot is empty. The store is closed, there are no teenagers at the empty Starbucks, or at the closed quickie mart. A quiet breeze cools the air. It is a warm, early evening. Nobody is around though. The world has moved on.
Go home, cook some dinner, think wistfully about yesterday, and about what I need to do tomorrow. Hey, at least tomorrow’s Friday.
I head to work, and the traffic is unnaturally light. I breeze through every single stop light and find a parking space as close to the front door as you can get. I admire the weather; perfect, not too cool, sunny. I walk in, get to my desk, log onto the system. It is a slow day. I really don’t have anything to do. Everything is caught up. Bored, I just sit there and look busy. My boss doesn’t say anything. He isn’t there.
After a while, I decide to head to the break room and grab some coffee. Maybe I’ll see Angela there. She’s so sweet and always so friendly. I don’t THINK she’s married, but somehow I’m always afraid to ask her out. I don’t want to get in trouble; they say that workplace relationships can be problematic. But I do secretly like her. I hope she doesn’t find out.
She’s not there, though. There is nobody in the break room, of course. I grab my coffee, and return to my desk.
I sit, and stare at the clock. Wait till lunch. Downtown restaurants are thankfully not crowded today. In fact, nothing is crowded. There are no people anywhere.
After lunch, I finish my work for the day. Nobody bothers me, even though I almost wish they would. I want to ask Jeff about something, see what Will’s doing this weekend. They aren’t here, though. It is lonely and empty, and I can’t wait for 5 o’clock. Once the day ends, I head for the exit, and realize, once again, that it has been decades since I retired. The world has moved on since then.
I return home, through empty streets, to an empty house, and contemplate my place in a world that has long since moved on. Patti is gone. The kids are gone, even the grand kids have moved up and out, starting families of their own. Deserted malls, empty houses, all the places I loved, hung out at, experiencing both joys, satisfaction, frustration and heartache, in, all empty now.
Maybe it’s time I let go, and move on with it too. Because as wonderful as the past was, sometimes I still feel trapped in it. I’m nothing more than a breeze, a voice on the wind, only an echo, just a memory.
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While this is a work of short fiction (I hope it wasn't too short, or too long) it does reflect how I sometimes feel, when I return to old haunts and relive old times. Being sentimental is both a blessing and a curse. I want to let go of the past, but still hang on to those memories that are pleasant, or even the less pleasant ones that shaped me into the person I turned out to be. Thankfully things are going okay for me in the here and now, maybe not perfect; I am still searching for "The One," but at least okay, for the time being.