I generally avoid obsessively blog-posting about kink, for a couple reasons. First of all, one person's kink is another person's cringe, and the more extreme your kink, the more people will find it cringe. I try to keep that in mind whenever I find myself falling into a sub-frenzy, like I sometimes do.
Also, I am more than just the sum of my kinks; I have a lot of other outside interests, and other things going on in my life, that I like to share about. That is only one small, facet of who I am. "Submissive?" "Kinky?" yes for sure, but also artistic, into sports, music, the outdoors, cars, collectables, history, and a whole lot more.
With that said, I have complex feelings about corporal discipline, spanking and paddles.
I am not super pain tolerant; not a "pain slut" by any means.
But yet, it isn't just about the pleasure of the sensation, or wanting it. I feel like it's an innate NEED.
Like an addiction to narcotics, only less self-destructive and harmful. I don't really want, but rather I NEED, to feel the paddle on my behind, the sting of the rod, the harsh impact of the flogger.
I need that discipline, that feeling that she, not I, am in charge, and I need that punishment for those misdeeds, those naughty thoughts, that inattentiveness to her.
I need her to exact her price for my sins towards her.
I need to feel like I am strong for her, stoic for her, and that I can take her punishment like a man.
I need to feel a little scared, a little nervous.
I need to feel hurting, sore, on the verge of using the safe word, but hoping to hold out for one more whack of the paddle.
And it's an intimate need to share with the one I trust, the one whom I love and admire, and overall, the one willingly surrender to.
And I also hope, through all of it most importantly, that her needs are being met as well, and that the things I do for her will fulfill those needs.
That's all I got; I'll post something less kink related next time.