Rose's Thorns.

There is only one type of cage that i would walk into... willingly. 

Its also not the one a legal contract, vows and rings represent 😉 

(just my view point)

people are getting married, having babies and moving forward... 

well moving forward for me means being happy by well not doing any of those things which isnt an issue as im happy but if ever i comment on a new baby pic or marrage status, the when is your turn, what are you doing or what are your plans ect... comments arent far behind and if they dont involve kids or marriage they seem to always stear towards that direction. When you go im not interested, its like banging your head against a brick wall... as tho its unaceptable or 2+2=5. Would be nice to be acepted and have your own goals not societys, happy for everyone who has these things they want and not dismissing them but would also be nice to not have to justify my personal decisions when strangers decide to ask what your plans are and if they dont line up with what they think it gets very personal very fast with people who dont seem to get that its my buisness what i do with my life, not theres. 

oh well another night in, if only a bottle of wine was there for company. Really close to caving in with regards to not neceserally my limits but boundaries, having boundaries is a good idea but its also really restrictive too. It would be nice if this lifestyle was more widely known and acceted or even just having boundaries was acknowledged and acepted as the norm in vanilla land. 

Wild fires, homes destroyed. (In many places) wales is one of the wettist places ever yet had wildfires this year. 

Yet renewable energy projects scrapped

Mass shootings, riots, stock pilling food for 'brexit- armagendon' The army on standby with fucking rations aparently... stabbings everywhere, stores selling knives to 16 yr olds... Most shops and jobs going into melt down. A UN peacekeeper not acting like they should... and ive missed many items off this list ... what the ... 

No wonder i never watch the news... what the hell is going on ??? 

(hope im not the only one thinking this) 

I keep going well it cant get worse... 

it does... 

sigh... just needed to get that out 

sorry. xx

There is a difference between want and need. 

When a sub has been left alone for a long while without the benifits of subspace, you may think you are helping through a computer screen, trying to give them something they havent had for a long time. Your actually just tormenting them by reminding them of what they havent got in the real world, its really painful psycologically and emotionally you can feel yourself ache for it. Trying to help a sub in this way, i acknowledge good intentions however the effect is quite the opposit for some, i include myself in that. It is extreamly sadistic and towards the hard end of the scale mentally, this might not be something you have considered and why i do not do online only. Its being reminded of something you have wanted for a long time and having it flaunted infront of your face but just out of reach. 

(just my perspective)

Can be a wonderful thing but also fucking terifying :(

how much it hurts the next day when you have benn boxing 😒 oww even walking is sore. 

Need to sream into a fucking pillow grrrrr 

sorry needed to get that out.

*smacks head against the wall 

you never play this with a sub, you will loose and loose badly, however your always welcome to try ;). 

Dating is difficult at the best of times but somehow only the creeps seem to be around, where have all the men gone ? The ones who want to have a conversation with you for at least 10min before asking you back to there place? (being sarcastic) and thats the polite verson of what is said. The guys who dance with you for one song then expect you to fuck them. The 'nice guy' who like to think he is supportive and nice as long as its only on his terms otherwise your judged to no end. Feel like smacking my head against a wall. The ones who are being genourus and are kind enough to buy you a few drinks as they try to get you hammered with alcohol. How the fuck is someone meant to find anyone decent, you have to go through so much crap as a woman to find someone and when the relationship doesnt work you know you have to go back out into single girl armagedon. It would be lovely to be able to go for a drink in a bar on your own and feel safe. Really trying hard to not cave in and just drink so much that i dont care where i wake up the next day or who im with as its one of the few ways i can let anyone near me outside D/s style especially when there is no interest in putting the time or effort it, is that all women are worth now? Beacuse continuing to wade through single girl armagedon and try to look after myself or cave and get so drunk i wont care or remember the second one is becoming more and more appealing. Im trying my best not to tho. x 

There is a difference between calling a woman beautiful because you like her perosnality looks and manner and saying she is beautiful to just fuck her and go onto the next one and yes speaking on behalve of women its obvious mainly as your not looking at us in the face as you complement us!

If you doubt what i am saying then i suggest asking a woman friend what are the worst mesages she has recived on a dating profile.

Not being able to be touched unless its with someone i trust a lot like D/s style months of knowing each other or plyed with alchol is hard with how things work today especially with the last one not an option. 

Things can play on your mind which doesnt help. I once had someone say after i had been unwell that they couldn never see me as attractive ever again 😡 its stupid how your brain works sometimes. Becuase even with finding it difficult to be close with someone if i manage that, my stupid sub brain now worries about bothering someone so much if i am unwell that it sticks with them.