I automatically know there will be messages in my inbox after this, that's not my aim.
I've been single for awhile now, I can't remember the last time I was asked out by a guy because he liked me, rather than just looking for something on the side. Going on what you think is a date only to find out the guys married and is just looking for sex, is not a fun experience. No one likes to be treated as second best especially when you think you have been asked out on a date rather than propositioned. Ive pretty much completely given up at this point. It gets tiresome being on your own. Constantly having leftovers in the fridge because you're cooking for one. There's no reason to put makeup on in the morning. There's no one to sit down next to when you have dinner at night. You don't share anything about your day because there's no point. No one asks how your day went or even shows an interest. Even if it's just to look polite and ask. There is no one next to you before you go to sleep at night and every morning you wake up with no one to say hello to. There's no point in making breakfast it just creates washing up. The washing up you never do because there's no point in making the house look nice. They still want to ask for advice either or just ask how things are going.
I'm not sure if anybody else can understand but I'm exhausted. I don't want to have to do everything alone. I don't want to have to make all of the decisions. Do you know how nice it would be if i didnt have to decide what to cook tonight because someone else chose, sometimes by the time i decided what to cook I give up on cooking and just go to bed. What's the point it's not like there is anyone else waiting for dinner. The other week I had just eating porridge all week purely because I didn't have to pick anything.
If I put this up anywhere else I would be eviscerated for it. I don't want to have to make all the decisions by myself, it's exhausting. Im just very tired of it.
