Thinking About Kink

SirsBabyDoll​(sub female){Pizza+☕} - THAAAAANK YOU!!!!! 👍👍👍👍💗💗💗💗

dollMaker​(dom male) - Without feedback, how can one improve. Without honest, free communication how can one meet, and exceed needs, desires and learn what makes the other party tick, what they enjoy, don't, make them smile, moan and cum. The other party in a kink relationship is a human being, not a blow up doll, just there for you, whomever you are, to do what you like to. Thats called abuse and consent, communication driven bdsm is not abuse.

Mufasadagreat - Some what true

dollMaker​(dom male) - Yes it can apply within a dynamic context, but more often its scene specific and refers, my understanding, to a bottom, sub who gives blow by blow guidance, instruction to what they want during the scene, basically reducing the top/dom to an activity vending machine following the instruction. This goes way beyond helpful feedback to ensure the bottom/sub does not experience more than what they will enjoy, which certainly early on in is incredibly useful and important, before a top/dom can provide a more creative, free form experience using the pre agreed, discussed limits, boundaries, desires and needs as the guide for the scene.

Some people won't permit any of this, selling the idea that a bottom/sub should just take whatever they decide, with no limits/boundaries, safe word or taking into account the bottom/subs needs/desires. Often these types of people will sell this as 'real bdsm', and everything else as bad, non genuine bdsm, and they will say its topping from the bottom to allow/permit the sub any boundaries, limits or input to explain what they would like and enjoy. This is abusive, all about the top/dom BS.

Mufasadagreat - I totally understand and agree with what you said. A lot of times people forget both sides have limits and boundaries. Just because one Dom did it that way doesn’t mean every Dom have to.

SirsBabyDoll​(sub female){Pizza+☕} - And sometimes, that need is to NOT continue a scene. It happened to me once. I was in scene and the Dom stopped it, siteing that my emotions weren't in it and that I was forcing myself to play. He felt that what I needed was support and not rage fucking.

He was right. I didn't need a Dom. I needed a friend in that moment. A safe haven to cry.

Ingénue{VK} - Quite. Thank you.

blushingforyou​(sub female) - Thank you, Ireally needed to read this today.