I don't think this writing will be profound, kinky, or erotic, I am sorry. I just have been reflecting on how I have been doing mentally and emotionally since my first party. I would say it was ultimately life changing, but I have seen some improvement in how I feel. I feel more at ease or relaxed. When I get stressed I just focus and work through it. Just like I focused and work through the party. What I experienced was exhilarating and helped me understand that I can do things if I put my mind to it. I got through college and graduated. I am adjusting to being single again (kind of). I am doing things for me. Part of that is doing thing for others that I have met. But at the same time of doing things for others I get something out of it. I get enjoyment. If I am lucky I get pleasure from the pain of impact play. But I have changed some. I am willing to put myself out there. I am not really active, but I am trying to fit it in with my other life. But taking the first step was helpful and now I will work on taking more steps. I think I have found my groove as to where I fit in and feel comfortable right now. But there is always room to grow.
I know you I have probably bored you all. But all I can say is keep pushing forward. Life will get better.
