Thoughts on a cloud

SirsBabyDoll​(sub female){Pizza+☕} - Not only would I get into a relationship with someone in therapy, I'm MORE LIKELY TO. If I had a choice between two people and they were exactly the same EXCEPT one was in therapy and one wasn't, is choose the one in therapy. Being in therapy doesn't mean you are crazy or "less than". It means you are willing to admit that you don't know everything and are willing to seek help. It's humbling to go-to therapy and THAT MATTERS to me.

Moonlighter​(dom male) - That's a nice way of looking at it, I can also see how it might cause apprehension but it may depend on the WHY behind therapy and how well it is going.

SirsBabyDoll​(sub female){Pizza+☕} - The why, to me, is unimportant. The willingness to be introspective is what matters. It's frightening to be open with a stranger but conquering that fear and doing it anyways, to me shows strength of character, not weakness.

To me, it's a weakness to hold it all in and refuse to go because it "looks bad". 🙄

Midnightkit​(sub female) - I’m with them on this. I admire a person willing to work on themselves but my heart melts for the person actually doing the work. I’ve seen so many people say they will take care of their issues and never do it. Or those who attend therapy to appease someone but don’t work on themselves. You are taking care of yourself and that means a lot.

duchessbutterfly​(sub female){NotLooking} - For me, someone to therapy is a positive thing. It shows an ability to be honest with themselves, introspective, and humble. Communication is key to the therapy process, and learning to talk about and through your issues with your therapist will help you communicate in your relationships as well. All good things!

SirsBabyDoll​(sub female){Pizza+☕} - ⬆️⬆️⬆️What she said!

buckle bunny​(sub female){Walkalone } - Everyone has their own journey, we all stumble and fall and rise again. I think it's extremely brave of you to be so open about your journey. Honesty to me is so important and sould never be judged or looked down apon. Thank you for sharing your journey

SirsBabyDoll​(sub female){Pizza+☕} - I just had a thought. I wonder if there is a perception difference between the UK and America. What if it's a cultural thing?

Moonlighter​(dom male) - I'd think it was more based on upbringing than geographical location, I've heard of people refer to therapy as "losing" or they have it in their heads that their issues and traumas aren't that bad so surely they don't need therapy, someone else might need it more etc.

We are also all told by and large that by taking time to look after yourself you are being selfish, the whole hustle and grind culture, overall the game is rigged so most people will lose and we just have to realize we don't have to take our mental health down with it.

SirsBabyDoll​(sub female){Pizza+☕} - It really irks me when I hear people compare traumas. There is no "minimum standard" for trauma ("This much trauma is horrific and you need support while this much trauma is just stress and you need to get over yourself."). What determines trauma is not WHAT happened to us but HOW it affected us. It's a normal reaction in the beginning of trauma healing to compare and even I've done it. Two people with trauma meet, discover they both had trauma and they start talking, "oh, well I had THIS...yeah, that sucks. What about THIS! I totally had that ". It's called "trauma bonding" but it can also be unhealthy when that bond is associated with romance.

Self-care is not selfish. It's self-love and healing. Being selfish means that you NEVER think of others and your love is paid for. Self-care is a form of replenishment so that you can continue to support others.

When you get hungry, you feed yourself. Do you not feed yourself simply because you are earlier? No, because you need the energy to keep going.

If you slept last night, do you not need to sleep again simply because you already slept? No. You sleep because you need to rest.

When the toilet paper is out, you replace it. Do you remove the toilet paper when people come over? No.

All of these are examples of "replenishment of the self". Mental health is no different. With trauma victims, what may just be a "simple stress" (such as a deadline at work, a test in school, a bill that needs to be paid, getting cut off in traffic, a rejection of possible romance, etc) can trigger a behavior within us that impacts us negatively. When we have those reactions, we need a professional to help us examine it and help us correct the issue.

Going to the dentist isn't selfish.
Going to the eye doctor isn't selfish.
Going to a lawyer isn't selfish.

Going to a therapist isn't selfish either.

SassyinCali​(sub female) - I would not consider being in therapy as a red flag. I would appreciate that they are working on themselves and perhaps examining some of those dark corner that we all have. I would hope it would help them build skills that would make them stronger communicators.