Spider.
Just the word, for me, is enough to make me uneasy.
I used to be terrified of spiders.
These days, I’m not as bad about them as I once was.
Spider.
The name invokes a dichotomous feeling of awe and trepidation.
They are beautiful and awe-inspiring.
They are also deadly and sinister.
I have this belief, you see. If we pay attention to the natural world around us, we can receive insight into our own lives. We are nature and all of nature is connected. Woven together in an intricate design that mankind, since its’ dawn, has attempted thousands of times over to quantify. Mostly without much success these days, in my humble opinion.
I have never followed a particular religion or spiritual belief. I find what makes sense to me and apply it. Facets of this and tenets of that. One thing that I know to be incontrovertible truth in my life, is that we need to pay attention to the animals that cross our paths. They are signs. They represent a truth about ourselves at that specific moment in time. Something important.
I don’t just mean one special animal you identify as a spirit guide or totem. And I don’t mean just any animal on any day. It’s the ones that stand out. Maybe a particular animal is one you might see on a day to day basis, but the interaction you have with it is not the norm.
An example of this, for me, are mantises. They are common enough in my area. Fairly elusive but not scarce enough as to be an unusual sight. When I know there is a message I need to hear, it is because of the way in which they appear to me at the time. Mantises are not the type of bug I would consider drawn to people, like a gnat or a mosquito. Usually they are not going to seek out humanity and will flee when they encounter it.
When I feel a tickle on my ankle, look down and see a mantis crawling up my leg and reach down for it, it crawls into my hand rather than recoiling or flying away. The fact that it is on my person at all is meaningful. It then just sits with me until I coax it on to a leaf or a branch And, even then, it is reluctant to go. This is when I need to pay attention. There’s something I need to know in that moment. Some message meant to be conveyed.
I will then read up on the mantis. It’s life and habits. I will research their symbolism in various cultures. Then I look inside myself and ask how this knowledge can be applied. Where do I need to shift and adapt in the manner of the mantis?
Spiders are the same for me. I can assure you my reaction to a spider crawling up my leg will be nowhere near as calm as the mantis. There would be some flailing and some freaking out. Some slapping and possibly even some shrieking. I simply shudder from afar if I encounter them off my person. But there’s a lesson in that fear and revulsion.
Here lately, spiders have been popping up in my path, quite literally. Suspended above my head when I let the dog out. Lying in wait on its’ massive web. Or trailing on a frayed strand beside me, as I frantically try to scrub the web off me that it built on my car. Or dropping down in my face as I sit in my office at work. And crawling across my ceiling as lay in bed at night…I’m ashamed to say I killed that one. 🙈🫣
There’s a lesson here. Such a lesson. And I am struggling with it. I’m still working it out. For now, I just say I hear you and thank you. Please, don’t crawl on me.
