So I don't actually know if the terms I'm using are the right ones, but I've never really heard anyone talk about this. We always talk about subspace and sub drop after sessions. Which we should Subs put in a lot of emotional energy into a session and depending on what your kink is even while they're having fun it can take a toll on them. Kinda like when I go snowboarding a ton of fun but the physical energy used completely wipes me physically after the end of the day. I have seen people talk about Dom space, but I have not seen anyone talk about Dom drop.
Anywho on to my story, This weekend was a ton of kinky fun, after all, what do you do when you're bored in a house alone with your sub. It was great, I was in dom space on top of the world my sub was in a good place and enjoying the extra attention It was a blast... until yesterday, where I rolled poorly on my will save. I just dropped from that high. To be fair I also had to go back to the real world, I'm lucky enough to have an essential job and still be going to work at the moment. My sub as wonderful as she was picked up on it almost immediately and jumped into action, my favorite cup of herbal tea was on my desk while I was getting it picked up and usable, and when I was done, pancakes. My sub is awesome. (I don't know If I mentioned that yet in this blog.) But at the same time, it wasn't a fun morning. Just that emotionally spent feeling especially after the high I get from being my subs dom. Now I'm again lucky enough to have a sub who will see that struggle I have and jump to action and is prepared for that for me. Which frankly is quite amazing. She's very clingy and thrives on attention. She aftercare is being cuddled fed and told she's pretty. which I am always more than happy to give her... Until I drop. I need time to myself to recoup and put myself together. And she gets that. After I had my tea by myself and then pancakes, in silence with her she suggested we take the cat on a quick stroll through the neighborhood so he could look at the squirrels. she gave me the time to work at my own pace and come back to my baseline. And I think that's the amazing part about my kitten. She knows how to support me as her dom while I'm dropping while still getting her needs met and maintaining the dynamic we agreed upon. I have no qualms in saying that my kitten is the powerhouse in our dynamic! Ok, I really did not mean for this to turn into me bragging about how awesome my kitten is, so time to bring it back around.
My main point is that Dom drop is just as real as sub drop and while I still stand that subs need to be taken care of first because they're taking the brunt of well, everything. Dom's will also have a drop and will need the support of their sub whatever that means within the dynamic and works for them. I think often, that dom's like to be viewed as indomitable personalities who never falter. Ok, I admit maybe that's how I like to see myself in Dom space. but there is this idea of projecting strength which makes sense for the role we fill but we're still human, (unless someone perfected a true polymorph spell then hit me.) and it's important to admit that and to take care of yourself and to let others take care of you. Like a sub who adores you and wants to do things for you as part of their being your sub. not naming any names but kitten... Ok, last time this blog post I promise. I get it pride is a big thing for a lot of folks and that's good for a dom to have but don't let that become hubris and be a detriment to yourself or your sub/dynamic because then you learn the hard way like I did. It will begin to impact your ability to be a good dom and begin to impact your sub in negative ways. We all need self-care.
