So I prefer my games to be more story and roleplay based, (D&D here though roleplay in scenes is also fun.) But like any good D&D player I love combat, got to get that flurry of blows going and a stunning strike for good measure. And I love a challenge. My sub gets creepy messages all the time and today is no different Kitten got a creepy PM on here from a random dom. Now, To be honest, both of our profiles kind of hint that we would be open to other people for play, so I don't mind kitten getting flirty messages from others as long as they're polite and respect her both as a person and a submissive. Now I don't plan to out the individual but do want to talk about it especially because he did something I've never experienced in these scenarios, apologized and tried to make things right. And the reason I want to use this as an example is to contrast to the numerous other similar messages that either double down on their creepy inappropriate messages or disappear when confronted.
It started as all the messages do. No introduction just asking my kitten was asked fairly inappropriate things. That was the first message. As a dom I'm a little offended. And now I know I should probably be offended for some dude perving on my kitten, stepping into "my territory". But I'm not. I fully trust my kitten and know she can handle herself. What really irks me is how this reflects on doms. When she told me she got the message my first thought was whats wrong with self-proclaimed doms in this world? I never once thought it would be another sub. I mean seriously that message could have been kinda fun after building a relationship and getting to know one another building they dynamic. My kitten and I have been together for 9+ years, (10 in September) and over half of it has been kinky. That's not a brag, as a dom I will be the first to say that I've got a long way to go and our dynamic is still evolving. But my point is that we have it well established and then maybe it would be ok for me to say something like that to my kitten. Though she would think I was kidding. I guess I just don't understand skipping the part where you build the relationship and dynamic. Because without that you also skip the point you build the trust that allows for a kinky relationship to be successful and safe. There's also the point that she did not consent to be a part of his dynamic or play his game and just starting is concerning.
Now for the "combat" the battle of wits! ok, that's an exaggeration. My hackles were raised but cooler heads prevailed. Kitten simply explained why messages like that were unacceptable. That's it. And that was the proper response. I admittedly wanted to be more immature and respond with movie quotes. But you know her response got a proper apology and he stepped up and admitted he was in the wrong. I went from very irked to have a great respect for this gentleman. We all make mistakes and say stupid things. Trust me the first draft of this blog was just that. And it takes a big person to step up sincerely apologize and admit they made a mistake. And The only appropriate response I can have is to extend the forgiveness and grace I would like to receive as well as apologize. If your reading this I sincerely apologize for beginning to rant about this scenario before giving you a chance to show your true colors. I had to go back and edit much of this blog post because well, My assumption based on experience was that the message that triggered this would lead to them doubling down. I choose to keep the first part mostly because he was not the first and will not be the last. And I feel that even though this instance was resolved in a positive way I still should speak out against the numerous other times it did not.
I guess I really don't have a summary of today's blog. I was just frustrated and wanted to scream in my personal digital kink void. I guess if there is any lesson from this, as fun as combat can be each encounter has more than just one solution and diplomacy will often get you much farther than even flurry of blows or rage, or sneak attack... It's been a while since I've gamed and even longer since I was a player and not DM. I apologize for the off track. Now back to it. It also showed as a dom I may feel like a novice but I'm doing something right and that I still have a ways to go. And it gives me all the more admiration towards my sub. The instance that sparked this frustration has ended positively and I'm extremely grateful that this dom has shown my kitten the respect that she deserves. And I hope that in writing this though I kept them anonymous I have extended the same respect to him. But my overall concerns about self-proclaimed, "doms" who treat subs even collard subs as a plaything to be used still stands. It's insulting to their dom sure, but more importantly, it's insulting to the sub, the dynamic and all the positive and wonderful things about BDSM and kink. And while this gentleman proved to be a true dom who cares about sub's and just made a minor error. The other messengers did not and it frustrates and concerns me that there are those out there who use our title that is more or less earned when a sub chooses of their own free will to gift us their submission knowing what that means.
