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Fearing what I need and trying to find a way to enjoy it again

After dealing with abuse I've had a really hard time enjoying bdsm again. But I'm trying to move through the fear and back to where I belong
2 years ago. May 4, 2022 at 10:48 AM

It's barely into day 3 of my punishment. I'm not allowed an orgasm for a week. I noticed on day 2 I was responding very brat like without meaning to and feeling rather grumpy. 

I have to play with myself multiple times a day but without orgasm and I think by the end of this week I'm going to be very very grumpy. 

But the punishment is serving to do exactly what it was supposed to because as bad as I want my orgasm i know I wouldn't be able to even if i tried before my punishment is over and he tells me to cum. It's showing me exactly who my pleasure belongs to, and reminding me of what my purpose really is. And that is to give Him pleasure


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