Fearing what I need and trying to find a way to enjoy it again

SirsBabyDoll​(sub female){Pizza+☕} - He wasn't a Dom. He was an abuser and sometimes, coming to terms with that simple label is the hardest part of healing.

There is no reason to rush into any relationship. Develop a trust based on communication and TIME. I don't mean a month. I'm talking a year. I know one couple here that spent 2 years apart and only just met for the first time. The right Dom will come and the right Dom will want to know EVERYTHING about you before they get physical. They will love YOU, all of you, not just the pretty parts, not just the submissive parts but ALL the parts. ((Huggles)).

You lived through something no one should have to live with. Own it! It's your strength because if you can live through it, you can live through anything else!

The Captive Flower​(sub female) - I tried a vanilla relationship and we were together for almost a year before we met in person and anything physical happened but I still had a really hard time with anything physical. He didn't even try to choke me but he put his hand on my throat and it caused me to have a major panic attack and I ended up sleeping in the guest room instead of in bed with him. I've been feeling like I'm never going to be able to get over it and be able to enjoy the things I want and need. But I went on a first date with someone and felt so safe and comfortable with him, I then found out he's a dom. And things started with him trying to tickle me and he got me laughing and squirming trying to get out of the tickles. I ended up giving him a blow job and I left with bruises on my breasts and feeling so fulfilled and happy, I loved that I was able to let someone touch me like that again and actually enjoy it. But now he hasn't messaged me back and I keep slipping back into thinking that all anyone wants from me is my body and that's all I'm good for. I never felt so comfortable with someone so quickly and it made me hope that things could work out and progress between us and I feel kind of stupid for getting my hopes up after just one date.