Predators are savvy, they will do whatever they have to do to find the right person to abuse in the most unassuming ways. Predators will prey on those who are unsuspecting, new, withdrawn, vulnerable and anyone who they believe will be a quiet victim. It's important to remember that there are predators and those identifying as "Primal Predators." Primal predator is an identity much like identifying as Dominant, submissive, Top, bottom, B/bootblack, etc. Here are some things to look for when trying to identify a potential play partner vs. a potential predator.
A Play Partner:
Is patient
Is respectful
Wants to know your limits and your protocols
Will make you feel safe
Will gain your trust
Will communicate
Will make you comfortable enough to be open with him/her
Will be honest with you
Wants you to experience subspace
Wants to teach you something new
Never crosses the line
Is NEVER abusive
A Predator:
Doesn't use a safe word
Ignores limits
Doesn't give aftercare
Is someone you fear (and not in a good way)
Threatens to leave or abandon you if you don’t submit
Threatens violence if you don’t submit
Gives you expensive gifts to get you to do something you don’t honestly want to do
Makes you feel guilty if you can’t or won’t do something
Make you feel ugly and unwanted
Makes you feel like you’ve been raped after having sex
Ignore your needs, such as medical treatment, food or clothing
Questions your loyalty when you question their behavior
Slightly touchy feely
Preys on those who are anti-social, introverted
Stalks you
Refuses to take responsibility for actions and blames others or circumstances for failures
A sense of entitlement
Need for power and control
Inability to form intimate relationships with adults (inability to commit)
History of abuse
And much more...