Good evening friends. I’m sitting here this evening watching the 3rd installment of the Hobbit movies, the Battle of the Five Armies while I write this post. I do love all the Tolkien movies, almost as much as the books. It’s been a rough week, work ate up my life and I experienced sub drop for the first time on Tuesday & Wednesday, coming down from the weekend. I got back home late Sunday evening and was still quite high on Monday - I even managed to run 3 miles after work that evening. I wanted to write this to say how the weekend actually turned out compared to my fantasy of how the weekend might go, which I wrote in part 1. While we didn't have time for everything that we had planned and reality is rarely like fantasy, it was still pretty close, and close enough for me. I loved being a slave for 24 hours while I was with E. He made me feel so good, and I feel more comfortable now with the whole slave idea lol.
I arrived at E’s house late last Saturday afternoon, after a 4 hour drive. Along the way I texted him every 30 minutes as directed, and let him know if I stopped to get a drink or use the restroom. Lol I told him that a few men had definitely checked me out, clad as I was only in my peasant dress, fully made up, and walking with a definite sway to my hips as I was feeling pretty damn sexy on my way to him. He enjoyed hearing that, both because I’m gaining confidence in myself as a sexual being, and because he liked the idea of showing off his property a bit.
I was nervous and chattered a bit as he helped me bring my things into his house. I fluttered a bit inside and drank a hard lemonade to calm my nerves - not drunk at all, no worry there, just a bit of relaxation. After I calmed a bit he gently directed me to kneel on the chair he had placed in the center of his living room. He buckled leather cuffs with rings attached around my wrists and ankles, and then buckled a type of collar around my neck that I hadn’t experienced before It’s called a posture collar, he said, and what he liked about it is that it would force my chin up, but when I was restricted from eye contact I would have to keep my eyes down.
E then lifted my dress over my head to remove it, leaving me naked since I wasn’t wearing any panties or bra. That caused a shiver as I knew that I would love the feeling of being unclothed while he was clothed, and I did. After that he applied nipple clamps, and pushed me forward over the back of the chair so that he could spank me. He spanked me for a little while and I squealed and giggled, of course. I was very turned on by it and he allowed me to have an orgasm, at which time he took off the nipple clamps - the combination of the pain with the orgasm was lovely and made me cum all the harder.
After that E took off the posture collar and led me off to the bedroom for a few hours while he played with my body, moving me around on the bed as he pleased. Like a good slave who trusts her Master (or Dom with benefits lol) I let him. Mmmm, I loved pleasing him with my mouth, taking him as deep as I could. He reacquainted his big fingers with my g-spot, to my deep gratitude. I can also happily confirm that I no longer have any PTSD regarding receiving oral, E made certain of that. He kept eye contact with me when he moved his mouth to my pussy (his pussy), and all he saw was helpless pleasure while I took what he gave me. E also found some strange ticklish spots as he explored my body with his hands - who knew that my shins and shoulder blades were ticklish?
Many orgasms later, we cuddled on the bed. I love cuddling so much, I’ve had such a cuddle deficit for a long time so it was so wonderful to snuggle against him while he ran his hands over me in a comforting way. I was a bit shy about touching him but quickly learned that he enjoyed the contact as well so we continued to lie there, cuddling and stroking each other’s skin.
We took a break after that to order some pizza and watch a bit of tv in his office. I was still unclothed but soon put my dress on for a while with his permission as I was cold. After a while we decided to go to bed, and E realized that he had not put the silver collar around my neck when he had removed the posture collar. He grabbed it and locked it into place. It was cold and I shivered, but mostly because I liked the way it felt. He then took a length of rope and tied my ankle cuffs together using the handy rings, then tied the end of the rope into a loop. Back in his room, I had to use the small footstool next to the high bed to get up into it with my feet bound. E took the rope loop and threw it over the bedpost. The point wasn’t to truly make me unable to go anywhere - it was to make me think, to make me FEEL owned if I woke during the night with the rope keeping my feet bound to the bed. It made me feel safe and cared for to be honest.
I started to make myself comfy for sleep but E chuckled a bit, rolled me back over towards him and said “You think I’m done with you?” Lol he was NOT done with me. E spent the next couple of hours making me cum over and over, twisting and pinching my nipples while I whimpered and begged, hurting and sore but so aroused by his attention, and wanting so badly to please him. I kept cumming because he wanted it. Another round of cuddles ensued and he stroked my hair as he said quietly, “It’s ok if you’re a slave, you still have the power. You can give it to someone, but you can also take it back if you need to.” He knows that I’ve been unsure of what it means to be a slave. Not unsure as in I don’t know what it is, but unsure of how I feel about being a slave. As I’ve written in a previous post, it feels so natural to need to obey, to need to please him without thought for my own pleasure, but also strange since I’m new to this world. Surely it would be easier to be anything else that isn’t so damn deep in feeling, so damn deep in being?
We slept till morning till E had to get up and take care of the dogs (he has 3, just as I do.) We slept a few more hours before waking up and sitting in the office for a bit. I took a shower and had a little something to eat, and he asked me if I wanted to play with the impact toys or try the Sybian first. I said hmmm, tough choice lol. I chose the Sybian. Then when he got up and went to the kitchen, I quietly ducked into the living room and grabbed the cushion that I had brought with me and put it on the floor (as I’ve mentioned before, I need the cushion while kneeling due to old foot and ankle injuries. When E came out of the kitchen, he found me there on the cushion, kneeling and presenting myself to him with my head slightly bowed, eyes down, and hands turned up on my thighs. I had been waiting to offer myself to him this way and felt it as a visceral need inside me at that point. I had no idea what he would do with me next, but I had to do this, I needed to offer myself to him beyond what I already had - symbolically I guess.
E came out of the kitchen and began to walk through the living room, stopping short when he saw me. He was pleasantly surprised lol and decided that flogging was in order. He had about 6 different floggers on hand, and started trying them out on me. The first few made me giggle more than anything, but they soon grew heavier and caused more of a sting. Other positions were tried, such as on my hands and knees, and the humble position which left me feeling both exposed and excited, especially since the position was emphasized by the fact that my knees were still up on the cushion, while my upper body was close to the carpeted floor. E swung a heavier flogger at my pussy, making me yelp with a bit of pain, but still feeling pleasure. I moved away from the flogger just a little, but moved back into position and he praised me when I kept myself exposed for him to continue.
Mmm, I can still feel the flogger wrapping around my sides as E tested different areas, and occasionally stinging the exposed bottoms of my feet. I was intensely aroused by the flogging and he allowed me to orgasm a few times as he continued to strike me. At one point he walked around to my head, and had his ankles on either side of my neck, trapping my head in place while he continued to whip my back and bottom. Then he stepped back and moved my left arm so that my left hand was on my lower back, and pushed my left shoulder back so that I raised up a bit, exposing my breasts to the flogger. E alternated between my nipples and the underside of my breasts, holding my breast out by the nipple for easy flogging. It was quite stingy, making me cry out, but it was still pleasurable. Periodically he would change floggers, and also stopped to whisper to me sometimes and tell me what a good girl I was, and that he wanted me to take a little more - which I did.
When he got to the heaviest flogger but one, he walked around in front of me again. Knowing what he wanted, this time I moved my left hand to my back, raised my left shoulder, and looked up at him knowingly. E said, “Damn that’s a sexy move,” and he leaned down to whisper in my ear, “Do you know why you did that?” I gasped out, “Because I’m a slave,” which was the right answer. He then proceeded to flog my breasts and belly while I cried out in pain and lust.
I still giggled a bit occasionally between cries, until he got out the most serious flogger - this one had little metal skulls at the ends of the strands. This is where the giggles stopped. E knew that this flogger would sting like hell and he was VERY careful with it because he didn’t want to break my skin. He purposely flogged my ass with just a bit of force, which pulled a loud cry of pain and surprise from me. He struck me again and I started to cry. E knew that I desperately needed to cry, hell, I needed to sob my heart out because I hadn’t had a real cry in years. The first time we met I cried a little bit but I still had demons to let out. So he said after the 2nd or 3rd hit, “Cry, you better cry and keep crying and let it all out or I’ll hit you again.”
I could feel the urge to cry begin to recede so I said “Please, I need more,” and he struck my ass a few more times until I started sobbing loudly from the harsh sting of the tiny metal skulls slapping my skin. E laid down on the floor, pulled me off my cushion, and held me tightly while I wailed out all the pain and anger of the past year - going through breast cancer treatment not only unsupported, but with my ex working against me to try to make me feel guilty and depressed, left me with a lot to cry about. He stroked my hair and whispered to me until I quieted. I felt so much better after that, I can’t describe it. After a time he sat on the couch and I sat at his feet and laid my head on his thigh while he continued to stroke my hair.
Once I felt better, E wound his hand tightly in my hair and pulled my head back. He put his mouth to my ear and nibbled gently, blowing a bit too. I’ve had my ears played with before and it didn’t do anything for me, but I shivered and shrieked, nipples hardening and goosebumps covering my skin. The difference is that he is in my head, first and foremost, so instead of feeling nothing because I was not engaged by my former lovers’ minds, I felt everything! He continued to play with my ears, and then my neck, getting the same reaction where my neck meets my shoulder.
We moved back into the bedroom then to play with the Sybian. E put on an attachment that would go inside me and stimulate my g-spot, and then helped me mount it. The Sybian, wow what can I say? The vibrations are so strong, and with the internal stimulation as well it was not hard to orgasm again very quickly. That was just a tease though because E then started cranking up the vibrations - the Sybian has a very powerful motor! E was enjoying himself, sitting on the bench against the wall at the end of the bed, grinning as he proceeded to tease me.
He would crank up the vibe until it was almost unbearable, then lower it again. I could cum as often as I wanted but it was almost too much - until it WAS too much. E turned it way up, then while I looked at him he purposely dropped the wired controller, letting it fall to the floor. He said that the look on my face was priceless when he did that, and I shrieked in disbelief and tried not to beg him to turn it down - telling him something is too much just eggs him on lol. He of course picked it back up after what seemed like forever, and continued to tease me for a bit longer.
My tears were still readily available and at one point I started to cry again as the overwhelming pleasure became almost painful. E turned off the machine then and helped me extract myself. God, my pussy was so overstimulated at that point - of course then he fucked me after hauling me around so I was lying sideways across the bed with my ass in his hands as he drove deep into me. He told me to cum and I did, crying out as I stared into his eyes. He soon came as well.
Then we cuddled on the bed some more. I scratched his back, which he enjoyed, though I laughed at my lack of long fingernails. I explained that my nails are like a child’s nails, they are very small and soft and thin, and so I don’t grow them out because they bend and tear easily. E grabbed my fingers to look at my nails and started to laugh at how tiny they really are, comparing his to mine.
As we lay there cuddling and laughing, I had the sudden thought that I wanted to please him - no, that his slave wanted to please him. It was just a quick little thought but E saw it pass through my mind, he is so observant! He asked me, “What was that thought, it looked really sexy?” I said something like, just a thought, nothing. Of course he wasn’t having it and made me tell him what I was thinking. I told him, “Your slave wants to please you.” He told me that I did a really good job of pleasing him all weekend. That made me glow, but also made me realize that I’ve lost my stone face. I told him about that the other day, that him seeing that momentary thought flit across my face meant that I had lost my stone face, that face I had used to hide my feelings from my ex. He said well yeah, it was a survival mechanism and you don’t need it any more. I thought about that for a bit, but he’s right - I don’t need to guard myself the way I used to. I trust him, and I haven’t been wrong about that yet.
After a bit more cuddling, I mentioned that a nap would be good before I started for home. E got up to set an alarm, and told me to make a nest in the covers and get some sleep.
All too soon I was up, showered, and heading out the door, back to reality. I continued to communicate with E all the way home, checking in periodically so he would know that I was ok. He looked up the weather forecast for me when I appeared to be going into stormy weather to tell me that it had already passed.
This week has been a bit surreal. Monday evening, as I said, I ran 3 miles. On Tuesday, work was hellish and I had to force myself outside that night to do some mowing. I felt unmotivated. It wasn’t until my Wednesday evening hike, however, that I realized that I really wasn’t right. I texted E to tell him that I was fighting fatigue and not feeling like myself - I only did 5 hill drills and merely hiked rather than running the rest of the trail. He told me to look up sub drop and I did - I had before but didn’t really retain it since I hadn’t experienced it yet. And yeah, that was the issue. I was dropping after all of the endorphins that had flooded my system over the weekend. Work kicked my ass this week which was hard when I didn’t feel like working. E was very caring and was on board with me going to bed early, which I did. I tried to get good sleep that night and felt quite a bit better on Thursday. Today, Saturday, I’m back to normal entirely.
E and I chatted by text today about the slave thing a bit in reference to something he copied from another profile and sent to me for discussion, where a slave has dictated to their master that using the safeword will still result in a certain prescribed number of additional strikes during impact play. I said that I wasn’t comfortable with that approach, because it turned the safeword of last resort into something that signaled more instead of stop. I like the interaction between us during play, when he whispers to me that I’m being a good girl, and if I safeword he will stop, and whisper to me, and stroke my hair, and see if I’m open to pushing that limit a little bit. Also, as a slave, I don’t want to demand, only to offer - such as kneeling for him when it was not expected, or putting my hand behind me and raising my shoulder because I knew he wanted it.
As he says being a slave is nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about, and I am growing more comfortable with the thought that I do have strong slave tendencies. Whether or not I find myself the kind of man who can give me what I need to allow that part of myself to flourish, that is still in question. But there’s no rush, I have plenty of time to enjoy what E and I are doing together and enjoy life before I start looking for anything like that.
Thanks for reading.