Disturbed, demented, and deviant

As the Dominant to my submissive, I know that she gives herself to me in mind, body, soul and spirit and does so of her own volition. In me, she has placed confidence, reliance, faith, hope, and dependence.

I will endeavor to ensure my submissive’s needs and desires are learned, and her limits are respected at all times. I understand that the gift of submission is priceless and will cherish it always.

Through my actions, I will demonstrate that I am in complete control of myself thus allowing me impress upon my submissive the need to relinquish any control she may subconsciously retain in order to facilitate our erotic power exchange.

I accept responsibility for all aspects of my submissive's life, ensuring that each decision I make in her regard is the best for her body, spirit and soul. Never will I place my submissive in jeopardy, nor will I compromise the trust she has placed in me.

In order to bring my submissive to new heights and understanding, I will work to achieve a vast knowledge of all aspects of the lifestyle, thus allowing me to be the teacher that she so richly deserves.

I will honor, defend and guard my submissive at all times showing that my love for her will provide a safe harbor in times of adversity.

My Dominant self is rooted both in reality and in fantasy, yet I can easily differentiate the two never allowing the fantasy world to overtake that of the real world.

In times of distress and hardship, I will shed the role of Dominant and provide for my submissive, a supportive partner and confidante.

While often unrelenting and strict, bringing my submissive to tears, I will always kiss away the tears that are shed showing my submissive that while stern, my heart belongs to her.

I vow never to lift a hand to my submissive in anger. When punishment is needed it shall always delivered with a tender and discerning hand and for a valid reason.

I pledge to my submissive patience and understanding, tolerance and steadfastness allowing us to grow and nurture the bond we have established so that it may withstand the test of time.

Above all else, I will wear the title of Dominant with great honor.

I am a constant disappointed.

I'm a habitual liar.

I'm disloyal.

I'm disrespectful.

I've been summarily dismissed for these reasons.

I have never been collared.

I have never had the pleasure of actually being of service.

I will never be collared.

Don't feel sorry for me.

This is what I deserve.

I am a toy.

Toys don't get collars.

Just a broken toy on the floor in the closet shoved aside until it's time to play again.

I will not disparage you here or anywhere. You have been nothing but truthful, honest, and a lost kind of charming I had thought long dead. What we had was so new, so fragile. I broke it, like a thoughtless child blundering through the prize roses.

You are right. I was on the phone with you right before it happened, and you said you'd call me back. I thought you would be on the phone a while,with your friend. 

A quick game of backgammon won't hurt. I set up the pieces, and we begin. A week ago I never would have thought to text you for permission or update you on what I was doing.

I texted please take your time. My partner wanted to play backgammon. Now what I should have texted was, I wanted to apprise you on what's taking place. I should have texted, Take your time my partner and I are in the middle of playing backgammon. The rounds go pretty quick. Not the point. That right there is where the breakdown in communication happened. You thought I was texting for permission; I was texting you to update you so I wouldn't miss your call.

I knew we were getting close, but I should have asked what he expects of me as a person and a sub instead of melting like hot butter at the sound of your voice. I can't help it. I hear your voice and a little part of my brain drips all the way down to my panties. I'm soaked thinking of how you've promised to treat me and show me my place. I didn't know we were at permission stage.

A thousand apologies. I know what I did wrong. I own my mistake. There should be separate times for my family and you. I've been delaying you in order to buy more time to get a razor, because no one will be waxing in the next few days. I was going by Wal-Mart to pick one up while I get my meds.

I should have been honest. I should have just told you that my pussy was not bare as you asked it to be. For a moment there you made me believe I deserved such a wonderful Dom. Thank you for that moment.

There are predators and prey. There are thousands of different predators out there and each belong to a tier. The big cats, sharks, bears, the upper echelon, down through the tiers of animals to junk and carrion eaters. What's more, there are different tiers of prey. The elephant, the whale, things that live long lives because no on has the balls to take it on, to the deer, squirrels to rabbits and Guinea pigs. Sometimes, it takes a pack.

I am prey. What's more is I like being prey. I'm not bottom tier prey. I'm in a higher one like a moose or a reindeer.(My one attempt at making peace throughout all the religions.) I'm big and mean enough to hurt you back. So Moose, bad ass creature. Not very pretty but sturdy, stable, smart because eventually beauty fades. 

Safest way to take her down would be a pack. They've got the numbers working for them. A bear might be a problem if they really wanna work for thier meal. Big cats are solo creatures. They would only make a suicidal try if they are desperately hungry and needed a meal more than life.

Every person on this earth corresponds to some animal in the natural kingdom. I'm a lot; believe me, I know. That's why I haven't been picked off sooner. I buck, and they lose that tenuous grip. Another one bites the dust. Some of you are saying why buck, why try to get away? That's the nature of prey. Your instinct is to hunt, and mine is to run or barring that, fight. 

I wanna be spotted while out grazing. I wanna make you do a double take. I want your mouth to water at the sight of me. It may be that you're a bear, a cat, or a pack of wolves, who catches me I don't really care because I've caught your eye, Alpha, haven't I? You wanna know what it's like to stalk me, hunt me, wait for the perfect opportunity to bring me down. Could you do it by yourself? Would you enlist help? I'm a lot. Are you sure you're not biting off more than you can chew?

Watch me surreptitiously from the corner of your eye. I felt your presence the moment you stepped in range. It's a part of our lizard brain. I can feel the difference in you from the others. Your stronger, a force that makes that part of my brain quake. In my time, I have been in the presence of only 5 of these males. I can't wait to see if you're strong enough, brave enough to take me down.

Nature is a violent, brutal, beautiful, seductive mystery, isn't it?  Nature is basic, vital need broken down in its purest form. It's not a want. It's deeper than that. We're talking about the core five: sleep, eat, drink, hunt, fuck.

There is only one other species that fucks for pleasure besides us, bonobo monkeys. See with us you have physical, mental, emotional attraction. Men are easy right? Just gotta get in the right position where you can see tits and ass, but men are designed this way. They are designed to get excited at what they see and want to fuck as many as possible.

Women have four different attractions. The base physical (Karl Urban, Jason Momoa, Gerard Butler). Men that melt panties with thier voice and looks, men who make you want to strip down to nothing, kneel at their feet and beg them to breed you hard. There are the men who get what you're thinking. It's almost as if you're one mind. When you move its synchronized, cordenated by an unspoken understanding. Then there are the men you lean on for emotional support. The ones that always know even before you do that you're in a bad way. He understands my need to hurt physically to reach that tender state in which I can cry. He knows when I need to cry. Then, there's the man who touches your soul. You feel him when you're alone like he's watching you. There's a deep connection inside, spiritual....

I've figured out why so many women are frustrated. They are looking for one man to fulfill all of those requirements, and there are a few who can do it all. Unfortunately, for most of us we'll find one that fits maybe two categories if we compromise on a couple of things.

Since men at thier core do things in order to get the chance to fuck. Why not have 4 or 5 different males who help you. We could find a man who embodies each,connection without the need for jealousy. Your physical guys satisfies all those raw needs. The intellectual guys that get you stimulate you on a mental level. Same for emotional and spiritual.

5 guys to every girl. Each guy gets as many women as he can attract and handle. The tinge of jealousy about who's the best or a sneaky pack waiting to take her together. Gods wouldn't that make a great living.

I wasn't gonna post this tonight or even think it, but sometimes life hits you smack in the face.  I have never failed at anything in my life, but my life. You want a passionately written scene, I'm your girl. If you're looking for a crotchet pattern for that new blanket you're making, they point to me. You get the point. 

Well now that ain't exactly true because everything was either you excelled or you didn't do it.  And to understand anything about how well this was ground in to our young minds, I grew up completely sheltered in Christian school. I played in the band and sang in the choir. I was good enough if I played or sang in a group of five. But I'm no soloist. I'm not bitter.

So now, in my house you either excelled at something or you quit. If you weren't the best at something you tried it was better to give up than be called a failure. Anything was better than a failure. I found that I wasn't really competition worthy when it came to sports or music. One thing I'm great at is influencing a crowd. I'm never directly involved. It becomes an idea that forms in thier brain almost like magic. Then, sit back and let mob rule ensue. 

I tried out to be a cheerleader. I was a great asset, solid base, pretty, but nothing that would take away from the captains. Good catch and release. I passed physically. There was an issue with me not smiling a lot, the colors of the clothes I wear. They spent 3/4 of a year in those outfits. What did it matter what I wore when I wasn't in that outfit or that I smiled in one and was stoic in the other.

They cut me. Turns out that they were this major bunch of sluts in high school. Sucks to be them. I could have given a few pointers. Move past.. So turns out private lessons are available everywhere especially when thier girls practice. 

I have a natural talent as it is of pleasing well, anyone I wish really, really well. What I'm good at isn't legal as a profession. It's what I enjoy and what I'm best at, but you can't make a living like that in "today's" America. 

And today I was in a great mood until the guy I'm considering pulls some shit. He asks me who is priority number one. He says it's me. Then he gets tricky with his wording. He makes an observation that I'm more of a slave than a service sub. He's astute. Then asks me if I would like to call or FaceTime. Gets very upset when I tell him I cannot.

My mother lives with me. She just broke 4 ribs, and I'm her round the clock care. Most days I don't leave the house. She's almost always with me. For this he calls me a failure. It couldn't be that it took all my nerve just to text him, now he's gonna throw a fit if I don't talk wanna talk right away. Do you understand how big it is to have my number? 

How dare you call me a failure because I'm not ready.  You were the one that said I was priority one. Priority one isn't ready!

I need a strong person to hold the back of my head making me stare long and hard at myself in the mirror. Someone who sees a wasted pile of potential and wants to shape all that to thier whim. I need to be remade, and unfortunately that's a long, arduous process. Some of you are unable to take on such a task. Some of you unwilling; I don't blame you. I need someone to help me take the reins of my life and help me.

I want to be seduced. I want you to melt down my resolve with naughty words whispered in my ear until I'm wet and shaking with need. I want you to wear down my weak protests with touches and pinches to my nipples as you ask me if I really want you to stop. I want to feel your hands and mouth on me as your fingers slither toward my cunt. I want you to shove two in and stroke me with them until I can't think about anything but the pleasure. I want you to yank them out, spin me around and drive your other hand back into my pussy while I suck my sweetness off your fingers. I want you to purr at me. Good girl, now undress.

You keep that maddening pace with your clever fingers as I try to think past the pleasure to obey. I struggle trying to take my clothes off without disrupting your tantalising rythmn. The shirt is the easy part, nearly shredding it in desperation to obey. The pants are next and much harder. When I lift my foot, You take that opportunity to start shove a finger in my ass, and I groan at the deep penetration. Now I'm caught one footed while you're giving me more pleasure than I've ever fantasized.

When my leg comes down I'm penetrating myself deeper on your hand and my knees shake. You chuckle at me in such a seductive way I wanna cry. It's all I can do to stay upright at this level of pleasure as your brutal pace quickens and your chuckle turns to a sadistic laugh. You bite one of my nipples and suck it into your mouth as I struggle to get the second leg out. I silently vow to wear more dresses. 

My fingers itch to touch you, but you haven't given me permission to yet. All I can do is ride your fingers and moan at the sheer decadence. Your voice doesn't even sound human when you bite my nipple and growl, "now, mine." All I wanna do is lick and trace you with my fingers. You order me to look at you. You want to see the wanton desire in my eyes as I undress you with shaking fingers. Your pants go first. It's easier. I get  transfixed by your sex. I want to bring you as much pleasure as your giving me, but I haven't permission. So I stretch your shirt over your head and arm you aren't  and I whimper because I know I'm gonna have to remove your hand to obey.

Your hand starts disconnecting and I long to follow those talented fingers, but I make myself obey. Once you're detached,three things happen simultaneously. A gush of wetness flows from my pussy drenching your hand and shirt; I'm staring at your erect cock  weeping at the thought of being touched, and your fingers are replaced by harder vibrating objects that are snapped into/onto me. A different controller for each. You had made forget we were not alone.

"Suck me." leaps from your mouth while she's guiding my mouth onto your cock as she orders me to be a good slut and suck him. I moan as the first taste of him fills me. She's left me no control but to take all of you as she pushes my head down. I'm on my knees now. And I imagine her rising up behind me giving you a vicious grin, a leg on each side of my head, kissing you passionately as your thrusts meet her pushes and now I'm taking every inch. I can lick your balls at this point.

She steps to the side grabs my collar and starts walking me towards the cage at the foot of the bed. It opens from one end and at the top. I crawl in still sucking. You've lined the floor with something soft for my knees. The back door closes behind me. You lead me forward until my neck is in the collar you can face fuck me in, and then the top slams down too requiring my entire body to realign for your pleasure. I feel you tensing and redouble my efforts and choke me. Me choking on your knob is what does it. 

Gushes of cum down my throat pulling back to my mouth so I can savor it, savor you. You fall back onto the bed amazingly satisfied with a grin on your face as her pussy lines up to my face. You lift an eyebrow, and my cum soaked tongue plunges into her hole so I can savor the two of you at once. I eat her cunt with the gusto that I sucked your cock. She's grinding over my face as if to wipe out my very existence.

The butt plug and vibrator which have been operating on low kick up. My gasp is lost in her pussy, but my eyes flick to you and your sudden enthusiasm with remotes. You toss down a double sided dildo and smirk again. I start to suck her clit and she starts moaning for you. I push one end into her as she squirts, then immediately remove it. Then I push in the other side, the dry side and the squelching just make me wetter. Your eyes on us are intense. 

"Suck it, bitch," and "Fuck that bitch," almost meld together as I suck her shiny juices off the end. Immediately, it slides down my throat having no anchorage as she passionately grinds and bounces on that fake cock. I am trapped with no breath, my nose rubbing her clit. There are worse ways to go. And then she's pulling it out and I'm gasping as I drool all over the plastic. She looks up at you and grins. You're half mast already. She sticks the other end up her own ass and begins fucking herself in earnest.

My mouth is attached to her clit, licking,flicking, sucking, and nibbling. I'm focused on my job, noticing the stops in her breathing and the pitch of her screams. The two in my holes speed up another notch, and I moan as I see your hand come between us taking hold of the ubend and pummeling her until she screams and begs you to stop.

The vibrator is on the highest setting now...the anal plug too. I'm a whimpering mess on the floor of the cage, my ass and pussy tight trembling. You dissapeare and I feel them move, back and forth inside me. The top of the cage flips open, and you toss me bodily onto the bed. Splayed out for the world to see. You tug the vibrator out, it drops onto the floor lewdly flopping around while you shove your entire cock into my pussy in one thrust. You've one hand on my throat and one steadying my hips as you fuck me.

"Eyes." You grunt, and I bring my gaze up to the searing satisfaction in yours and keep them there. I'm close, so close I wanna clothes my eyes and scream. You squeeze my throat tightly when my eyes drift shut. They pop open wide again when the plug is ripped from my ass, and the dildo is shoved on high up my ass and begins moving.

I hear her whisper, " make the little bitch cum." You lean over  giving her better access to peg my hole. You start fucking me really hard and a tear slips from my eyes. "Not this time slut." You grab my clit and pinch it until you see my body start to convulse. "This time you're going to cum for me."  Your hand tightens until I'm panting shallowly, my clit flicked rhythmically. I'm on the verge of passing out but I feel it. I gasp as you let go and air surges into my body and you spank my clit 3 times and bite my shoulder making me explode around you. Just as you begin to dump a huge load inside me.

I whisper "thank you Sir, Ma'am." My voice and body feel faraway until I drift to sleep in your arms. 

I don't know how to interact with you now. I don't know what to say around you now that I've been found out. But, back me up here. If two people are set on fucking; it's gonna happen eventually. I did use bad examples. I used him and I as examples. Blew up in my face that did. But I told her there was no pressure because I wasn't ready for full on sex either. But I told her there was no pressure cause he's not the cheating kind. It's horrible thing to say, but something that had to be said. She completely ignored me for two weeks. 

She had chastised men, and after she was done, she let him know what I said. I thought for sure he'd punish me further. I sense a coiled jaguar ready to strike. You do niether. A few caresses between the two of us girls, but I can't look you in the eye.

I wanted to tell her about the deep and abiding need to prostrate myself at thier feet and just bask in the power of thier love. So I did. I figured she'd know that just thier continued presence in my world was a blessing. It's not that weird, or maybe it is. I don't know what to do.

So two different Doms on here message me almost simultaneously today. Both are men, dominant, and have scant profiles. Minimum filled out.

One has a practiced approach, genuine interest, and witty conversationalist. The other is more demanding and bossy than I care for. They ask roughly the same opening questions. I send the same reply to both.

One comes back immediately with how I would handle some real life scenarios that might happen in his presence. I answer as honestly as I can without actually having lived it. I guess my answers were good enough to get me through to round 2. Round 2 where he asks about limits, gives a very boring speech about obedience, then demands for my number. 

Doms don't duck completely small questions like what's your name? How old are you? You asked for my phone number and not my name. Who does that? And then when I'm answering as honestly as I can. Ready for this, he wants me to get a part time job so that I can fly myself to him at his beck and call. Cause hitchhiking is so dangerous.

I answer every question for an hour that this man throws at me, sarcastically, borderline pleasant, but not really interested in being his porn right now. He still has not asked my name,btw. I mean, between, you, me and the wall. I'm not that experienced in practice, not the whole lot of exciting adventures in the bag. This one hasn't studied his prey, and before I evade him forever, I sit him down and tell him. You're young. Cool your jets. Get to know me before you decide to give me, a total stranger, with severe mental problems, the number I need to find out everything about you in less time than you could cum, just saying...

The more I flip between these two conversations I find I'm more stimulated by the stranger with the manners than I am with the other. He's very smooth. I only see what he wishes me to see. He makes me very curious to learn more about him. Pick the person who stimulates your mind as well as the body.